am i wrong in doing this?

[kristaljade]

i am wanting to send a letter to my husbands floozy as was, telling her that we are now very happy with a little boy etc. i dont know her new address so will send it to her parents address. i really want them to know what she has done in the past as they think she is an angel, wonderful daughter. if i write urgent on the letter and leave it unsealed im hoping they get to read it. its been hard to move on, my inlaws think my husband is wonderful too, maybe they should find something lying around too when they come and visit us. so basically without defaming the character of his floozy, can his floozy take the letter to the police. i know you will probably say it is wrong what i am doing but i have so much pent up anger in me and i want her parents to know.

[boxtops]

"YOu want her to think we are happy"? - er, no, that should be "want her to KNOW we are happy" - but again, what purpose will that serve? If she's moved on and has her own new relationship, she might not actually care.

[joko]

well do it then

...but expect a very nasty letter through to your parents...and maybe to your job...and maybe through all your neighbours letterboxes too...and maybe signs on lamp posts...on the net...

its what i'd do to you...

[kristaljade]

i want her to do both, think and know we are happy. she wont make contact as we have moved miles away and have new jobs, homes etc. i dont care as i say if the proverbial hits the fan, ive had so much worse believe me. you dont know the half of it.

[Purple_Popple]

I dont think it is quite fair to write a letter to this other woman's parents - what do you think it would solve ? What do you hope the outcome/reaction of the letter would be ? What has their daughter 'done' exactly apart from have a relationship with a guy she thought was unattached - it is not solely her fault, it takes two to tango, your husband should have been stronger - sadly men are weak. I can understand you are feeling bitter and upset which is understandable and you want to make her feel as bad as you are..but in reality this will not make things better, it wont solve anything and you will regret it. Please be strong and try and get on with your marriage...I wish you the best of luck. x

[kristaljade]

i have done nothing wrong and wont be doing anything wrong by saying that we have moved on, we are happy and she did us a favour etc. i dont have parents, inlaws should know anyway as sun doesnt always shine from their son's bottom and i dont care really re jobs, neighbours, ive had worse to put up with, public disgrace and shame in the past. if you did what you say you would joko, wouldnt that make you look as bad as my husband being involved in a sordid affair?

[boxtops]

Do you honestly think she will care, kristal? I know you want to get it out of your system, but if she receives a letter like that, it could open it all up for her again and she'll contact your husband or families to kick off.Her parents may know already. I would suggest that you get some counselling for yourself - really I would - to try to work this anger out of your system. No good at all will come of mailing this letter to a long-ago ex's parents. How do you think your husband would feel about you doing this? It might help at the immediate time but I suspect that you would start to feel bad about doing it, later on.

[kristaljade]

i will be writing the letter to her parents house to her in case she is no longer at her old address. if they see it, they see it!

[sherrardk]

I don't feel that you are happy with your current situation, if you were, you would stop picking at the scab. If you are still angry with your husband then your relationship can't be that great. If you are happy with your husband then let it drop. You can't have it all ways. If you were to send a lesson she would realise that you are not happy as you haven't been able to let the matter drop (of course you are angry with him but if you have taken him back you can't punish him forever).

[kristaljade]

ive had counselling, helped to some extent but got so much anger inside, husband had the brunt so now its her turn so to speak. i wont regret it, i doubt they know any of it. i dont care if husband finds out, dont be with me if thats the case, you put me here, take it and ive taken the proverbial because of you!

[Purple_Popple]

It could go another way, if you are as determined as you say to write this letter - how old is this other woman ? How old is your husband ? They may want revenge against your husband for messing with their daughter and breaking her heart lol....who can tell what sort of people her parents are .....I hope it gets you the desired result!

[sara3]

and you're how old? this sounds ridiculous. you've got what you wanted, and you're still not happy.

give it up, it's pathetic. I feel sorry for you.

[cazzz1975]

the woman hasnt cheated, your husband has. he may do it again and then what? send letters to the new woman?

I think the best thing you can do for your marriage is let it go and focus on building the trust and working together.

[sherrardk]

You need to sort this out with your husband, you haven't sorted things out at all and if this how angry you still feel (you haven't said how long ago this happened) then it sounds like you shouldn't be together (unless you are just with him to stop him being with her).

[Robinia]

Well go ahead, do what you must do, you asked for opinions and everyone has said the same thing.
I feel for your little boy the most, living in an atmophere of such bitterness...bless him

[Purple_Popple]

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"

[joko]

haha...how do work that out?

how is me returning your childish, needy and pathetic gesture, tenfold, make me as bad as your husband who had a sordid affair?!!

and if thats how you feel about him, why are you with him?

seriously - she will see right through you - same as we all have - she wont believe a word of any of what you say and will probably laugh her head off at you...

you will make a fool of yourself...and far from her feeling any remorse or jealousy - or even caring - she will just think you're nuts...

[boxtops]

Joko - you said what I didn't like to....

[kristaljade]

i know it takes two but she pursued him, i know thats what they all say but i know its true, i know he flirted too. she didnt like the fact he chose me in the end and lost him his job due to lies, thats all im going to say. she was considerably younger, likes older men, wants a family which we now have got. if her parents want to pursue this, fine, im not infallible and gotta go at some stage. i just want to say she has done us a favour etc and hope she has moved on too after all the hurt that was caused etc. she is far from being an angel, was the office bike that unfortunately my husband fell for and almost caused me to top myself. she said to my face she would leave us to get on with things then she took it to a higher level at work.

[sara3]

give it up, you silly woman.

get a grip.

[sherrardk]

Leave it - only a total idiot would read a letter like the one you are proposing to send and think 'oh my god, I made such a mistake, what a cow I've been. At least they are happy now and I am so happy for them'. Get real, she will read it and think 'they are so over, if I want him, I can just go and get him'.