Living on your own

[coccinelle]

I'm finding living on my own and being owner to the house and savings is getting to me. I have to decide on my own etc will this sort itself out or should I be looking into changing things? I don't fancy the idea of moving out as this is my home but I'm coming to realise it's now too big for me. Problem is, I don't know where I'd want to live....
Any suggestions will be most welcome. Debate more than answers i think....

[black_cat51]

in france you mean?

[joggerjayne]

Why move, unless you have an idea of how you could improve your situation.

I live on my own,too.

[bednobs]

do you mean moving a boyfriend/someone else in?

[coccinelle]

Yes, France. Why move jj? Maybe it's time to move on and no way bednobs of moving someone in

[joggerjayne]

Maybe you should only move if there is somewhere that you really want to be ...

... rather than somewhere that you don't really want to be?

[coccinelle]

jj, I think I need to move on and will have to but don't know when or where. Is there something that comes up to make us do that jump? or do we have to make that jump ourselves...?

[bednobs]

if you move you will just be on your own but somewhere unfamiliar

[woofgang]

you could do some thinking and research...what is good about where you are and what is not? what do you want too do/be/have different from the do/be/have you have now.

[joggerjayne]

Well, if it gives you some idea ...

Years ago, I found myself in a big house, with a big garden, and loads of rooms that I never even went in.

I wasn't sure if it was what I wanted, but it seemed too good to improve on.

Then I thought ...

What I really want is to be able to walk to the shops, bars, restaurants ...

... and to see the sea from my window.

So, I bit the bullet, sold up, and moved to an apartment in the town.

And I totally, totally love it.

Once you have an idea of what you want ... go for it. Don't look back.

[ChuckFickens]

"I have to decide on my own etc will this sort itself out or should I be looking into changing things?"

Why is deciding on your own a problem?

[coccinelle]

Yes, seeing what I have as to what I want or need... it would be good to sit down and do that honestly. jj Your situation before seems to be mine now and now is the question as to what I'd really like... never been in this situation in my life... just went with the flow....................

[joggerjayne]

It's definitely a big plus that you have the choice, coccinelle.

[rosamundjohn]

You could go to see a financial advisor or your bank if the financial situation is the problem. if it is the workload or lack of company/family etc that would be another matter.
Do you have any family members you could ask?

[coccinelle]

Deciding on my own is a problem as this is completely new to me. Lived with my husband 28 years... Quite honestly jj I don't feel this a 'big plus'.

[sherrardk]

I don't mean to be harsh, but you know in your heart of hearts that it won't just sort itself out. It is still early days so you should maybe just think about what you might like but make no decisions at the moment (unless finances mean you have to make decisions now). If there is no rush and your heart is not in it, leave the decision to a time when you feel ready to make it. In a positive frame of mind you are more likely to make the right long term decisions for yourself.

[Old_Geezer]

It is a very personal decision and I get the impression you know what you want to do and are looking for support. If you are unhappy with the ways things are then sure, change your life and try something else.

As for wher you wish to live, why not make a long list and then start considering those that really can be crossed off and those that stand out. Try to filter the options down.

[woofgang]

Just wanted to say take your time.

[Mamyalynne]

I too feel it may be too early to jump yet but may be a time to really evaluate what you want and where you want to be in the future,

I was widowed in 2008 after 35 years and to be honest moving has never occurred to me, but I do not have a large home, just right and packed with memories, your heart will guide you.

[jno]

if you're thinking of moving somewhere nearby but closer and more manageable, take your time, look at estate agent brochures, maybe even look at a few properties; walk around other neighbourhoods to see if they might be better for you (better shops? Nearer to transport?). Calculate what money you might have once you've sold your current home.

If you want to move to another town, or country, there's quite a lot more work involved. Again, don't rush. Finding something you really like is probably the biggest step of all.

[coccinelle]

Thank you so much everyone. Guess I was feeling a bit down last night and things get to me as I feel the responsability too great sometimes. Will wait and see, no rush as you say. Thanks.