What do you talk about?

[cameliaheartfelt]

I have been married nearly 3 years but have been with him for nearly 18 years. we don't have any kids and I'm currently only working now again doing agency work. I am very concerned that we just don't talk and I suppose never really have. I just don't know what to talk to him about and he never really talks to me first. I don't do much in the day apart from housework and although I ask him about his job, that is soon over and done with and I'm sure he doesn't want to dwell upon that after he's come home. We are doing up our house slowly so we talk about that and finances, apart from that nothing. What do you talk to your other half about if you don't have kids or a job? I'm really sad, we sit in the car and go along without saying hardly anything and the same when we go for walks.

[Sqad]

LOL...that's called "being married."

[anneasquith]

do either of you have hobbies ?

[nannybooby]

agree with squad ,you dont need to gable al the time ,peace in just being together is good.

[mrs_overall]

Mr O doesn't talk much, mainly because he can rarely get a word in. I can talk for England.

[excelsior-1]

camelia.
please do not be unhappy. maybe you could find a social activity todo together that would be worth talking about. many couples do have hobbies they enjoy together.

you are lucky to have someone .. i am all alone, and can spend an entire weekend or evening after work without saying a word, as there is no-one to listen to me

[Mick-Talbot]

I talk about Coronation street, Emmerdale , The X Factor , Big Brother etc etc ...........she talks about me a very sad individual.

[Mick-Talbot]

being ^

[EvianBaby]

Me too Excel. I just talk to myself. Or the fridge, or the doors, or the tables, whatever happens to be in my line of sight. It's fascinating :)

[ummmm]

Oh gosh....everything, anything. I actually find it baffling that we have so much to talk about.

[anneasquith]

really mick :) :)

[flump1]

Camelia , that sounds so sad. It sounds like you are bored and expect conversation from your husband to stimulate you. I am afraid it doesn't work like that . You need your own interests away from each other, thus giving you conversations topics when you are together. Men may be chatterboxes too if you find common ground . Bring up to date media, news, family friends up as well as plans and promises for the future. Is there a way you can get out more, with friends for a coffee, or volunteer somewhere to help relieve boredom. Of course it might just be he is worried about things, that can turn chatters silent. Long periods of quiet happen in most relationships and on the whole are welcome ! xx

[FredPuli43]

In itself, silence between couples is quite normal. You alway know the long- married couples in a hotel or restaurant because they are the ones who sit in complete silence, whereas those at the other extreme, the newly weds, don't stop talking. You have been together 18 years and are in the long-married category, though only married for three years .

Why has this only started to concern you now? Do you feel unhappy with the relationship for other reasons?

[sandyRoe]

There's nothing wrong with companionable silence.

[tenrec]

We go in fits and starts. Sometimes we don't shut up all day, other times we don't need to talk for ages. I think I am the one who instigates a conversation usually. Although, with strangers, he is the one that does all the talking, until I have to drag him away!!

[maggie01]

When I was married, I used to waffle all the time. My husband used to say he liked it probably because he switched off and didn't have to speak himself.

Now we are divorced, I waffle on to the dog and she doesn't answer me either.

[chi-chi66]

I live on my own, except for a cat. I talk to myself all day long, or the cat.
It's not a sudden thing..used to do it years ago when mini-me lived at
home..she came in from work and caught me in the kitchen having a
conversation with myself "who you talking to" "nobody" says me...she still
reminds me of it.

I know, thats not the same as you...but you at least have someone to talk
to.

Do you have animal? they can take the strain out of a conversation..(or
maybe add to it)...take up a something that you know you have in common,
what did you do together before you married? xx

[rockyracoon]

My and him were in the pub a while ago, after about 3 hours a fella we know came up to us and asked how we had so much to talk about, he said he never went out with his wife as he wouldn't know what to say to her, Sad or what? After he left us I tried to think what we had actually talked about, nada, nothing, so we must talk complete and utter crap when we're out, probably gets worse the more we drink. Indoors we don't talk much, unless there's something to say, which at the moment is 'turn that effin football off'

[tenrec]

rocky, we talk a pile of cr@p too.

[mrs_overall]

A friend of mine lives alone with his pet corn snake which he talks to all the time.
I haven't the heart to tell him snakes are deaf

[grasscarp]

This reminds me of me and a boyfriend many years ago. A friend said to us in the pub, Why are you two not talking? Boyfriend answered, "It's OK. Even when we are talking we don't talk".