science of body language

[tali122]

i find the science of body language rather vague and too generalized.
ok what if a female holds eye contact with you and does not smile, or in another scenario momentarily acknowledges your prescence thru quick eye contact- but does not smile, therefore is she intrested, or is it just idle curiousity?
thanks

[flashpig]

She's probably a lesbian.

[Artful]

Scenario 1 : she is wondering what the devil are you up to staring at me like that? Go stare elsewhere.
Scenario 2 : As you say, maybe 'idle curiosity', or more of the above.
But who knows, play it by ear (well, we are talking body language here), tali. Speak to her, smile, wave and see what happens - something probably will but who knows if it will be positive or negative until you do...

Sorry, probably not much help but I've never been what one could call 'subtle'. I just wade in, what the heck life is short!

[woofgang]

she may be wondering if you won your bet by going out in public in that tie/with that haircut etc

[acw]

If this is a "my friend has a problem" type question, then you simply won't get the answer you're looking for here!  Oh well..... go on then.....

SHE FANCIES YOU LIKE MAD!!!

I hope you feel better now! :-)

PS - It's vague and general because people are so different.  We can't all be fitted into pigeonholes so easily.  (Well, I suppose if we made the holes a LOT bigger, and took all the pigeons out we might!)

[jno]

two scenarios there... Looking briefly at other people is normal and, in terms of igniting relationships, meaningless. Looking for longer may be a prelude to something or may not. So your second scenario probably isn't going anywhere, your first one just possibly might be - at least it gives you an opening to express your interest. Remember, you're allowed to have body language too.

[tetherend]

I'm sure that you if you know about body language, you can use it to your advantage.  Trouble is, you don't know who is being sincere with their body language and who is deliberately creating the required impression.  When my boss is talking, I will maintain eye contact and try to look interested, even if I'm bored stupid.

[tali122]

my problem is that im crap with eye contact , also can the unsmiling long eye contact be interpreted as someone wanting to dominate you?(i.e they want you))
im with acw on his explanation, but then again weve all looked at some fat ugly bird- and she's thinking he fancies me!

[Artful]

In that case she could very well be thinking 'what's this 4-eyed g*t want?' Give it a rest - you and your 'big fat ugly bird'.

[acw]

And most of us girls have had some sleazy horrible arrogant man give us the up-and-down stare, thinking he could bed us easily because all women fancy him. Catch my drift!?!

The unsmiling eye contact may be "she's actually staring into the middle distance trying to remember if she left the gas on, or fantasising about her amazing boyfriend or girlfriend,  or looking at the guy behind you".  If you ever do manage to talk to this girl, I'd suggest you lay off the "fat ugly bird" nonsense too. 

[tali122]

got a bit of a pro- fat ugly bird crowd in today

[acw]

Think we're just anti-moron actually.

[jno]

hm, tali122, you may need to work on subtlety and sensitivity a bit in order to read body language

[Artful]

You think so, acw - have you put that into words or are you using body language? Sit up straight and tuck your tummy in, tali is watching you! Sorry tali, Sunday's not your night, is it - perhaps it would be a good idea not to go down to the pub.

[tali122]

well im sorry i ve misjudged the tone with my crass humour and that you can so easily resort to personal abuse in particular acw its very easy VERY EASY to do that which you seem to think cant be reciprocated, im keeping this lighthearted , i im not keen on judgemental lectures, and acw i havent personally called you any names- now if u wanna play silly ******* i can play it just aswell - just curb your tongue, i prefer to keep things friendly- your first post was friendly and then you turned jekyll and hyde nasty- very disappointed

[acw]

You see tali22 you did the same - and you started it.  You started off an interesting post.  I gave a lighthearted response and the thread continued to be interesting and friendly.  Then you suddenly had to make an arrogant comment implying that any "fat ugly bird" who looks at you must fancy you.  You turned very quickly from a person interested in psychology etc, to sounding like so many other Toms, Dicks and Harrys down the pub on a Friday night, having a laugh about "pull a pig" night.  I found your comment offensive and moronic. 

Before you start - my face might not be a picture - but I'm 5'8", weigh under 9st and wear a size 10 - so I'm NOT one of the "fat birds" you were mentioning. 

[tali122]

such is the nature of the beast that is the net that people will evevitably have arguments.
now regarding bfubird(and i assume there are a few) i was trying to theorise and analagize the concept of eye contact and not that bfubird fancies me BUT that i fancy HER, maybe i should have put it this way - if a bloke makes long eye contact with me, does it means he fancies me aswell ?-again idle curiosity or lust?
now others have made humourous comments but you started to lash out- even though i did not personally direct any remarks to you- i was perfectly within my rights to personally call you a few things (would you like it?) - i did not call you a bfubird or anything else and i could have replied by "yeah and you're a ......." - but i didnt, so i gave you the benefit of the doubt.... something which you didnt afford me
and ive never been to a pub in my life- im teetotal

[jno]

ah, there's your problem tali122 - alcohol is renowned for making ugly people look sexy!

[Artful]

Come on you 2 - I'm in the doldrums enough as it is after yesterday's vote - bfu, tali you talk as if your criteria should be everyone else's, you might find s.one bfu but so what? That concerns you and you alone and it would be nice if you didn't offend anybody I mean you don't even know the person. You're not sure about the 'eye contact' - either look away and don't look back or say something, make a move towards the person. It's amazing how simple life can be without all this DIY psychology (and oh so profound!) going on.

I fully understand and agree with acw; yes, the thread started off fun and light to become something obnoxious and personal.

[acw]

I never directed anything personally anyway.  I just made a few statements.  And tali's guilty conscience made him think they were directed at him. 

Why is being tee-total a reason not to go to the pub?  I'm usually skint and can't afford the cab home so I drive to the pub to see my friends anyway.  And I drink diet coke ONLY as I'm not irresponsible.  I just like to be sociable. 

I don't really want a row in this thread - tali's just picking one out of nothing.  I never said "Tali is an XXX" and yet you keep threatening to throw insults at me personally when I kept my comments general and unspecific until the point where you laid into me!

[Artful]

Poor acw, not your w/end, is it! First Saturday and now today. Come on, darlin' chin up and have a smile.

tali, you've never been in a pub; wow all that body language that you've been missing, no wonder you're at a bit of a loss. You get some jolly good eye contact as well in there - or you did when I was a regular! Don't have real pubs over here, they're all pseudo but the eye contact can be fun...