Owd - so very sad to hear you say that, I know nothing I or anyone can say will change matters, make sure you are taking all the pain relief you can....thinking of you ((HUG))
Focus on a day in the future when there will be happiness whatever that day represents for you. And just remind yourself that the meds are what are helping to cause the suicidal thoughts. Once the drugs stop the suicidal thoughts will subside. Remind yourself of this future. And for the present, try something new in your life each day
It is now 13.00 sun had a real bad night, but had some sleep this morn,Mrs Owd is clucking like an old hen because i wont eat, have promised to try some chinese later.