Also fed up

[Eve]

Well, this week has been a bit of a revelation getting used to walking with a stick and attitudes (or ignorance!) towards people who do.

Had some very frustrating moments in the week but yesterday was the hardest. I had a bad fall on a bus getting to work, went flying and a very nice man helped pick me up.

I later went to meet friends in a coffee shop who were running behind and I had to leave and go somewhere else I could sit as it was so busy and I couldn't stand and wait so missed out.

I later went to Aldi which was a nightmare, trying to balance a basket with other bags then were wew boxes and pallets and people moving stuff all around the place so kept getting blocked to get round and being completely ignored. My hips got so painful I got down to a quieter section then my bag strap broke and I had to lurk there for about 15 minutes before I could get the pain to settle enough to try and tie my bag so carryable and get through the checkout to a very stroppy cashier who wasn't very helpful.

Had to get my friend to come rescue me rather snivly and freezing on a bench outside to get some more bits so I wouldn't need to leave the house today and help me get on the bus home.

Had to wait for the crush of people getting on to go down then there were no seats downstairs so stood there looking pathetic (while everyone put their heads down) then was about to go to get back off and wait for another bus until a nice man got up to let me have a seat.

Needless to say I am staying safely indoors today!

[sherrardk]

I think Asda is cheaper than Tesco. Also if they substitute stuff and you don't want it they just take it back and if they substitute with a bigger pack or something which is more expensive then you don't pay the extra.

[friedgreentomato]

Jenna, I feel for you - I occassionaly use a stick when I am having a bad time - I have had people try and kick it out from under me for a laugh!!

It does get better

[bednobs]

we call them "bread shelf moments" in our house, When i was first ill and had to learn to pace myself, the overwhelming tiredness and "can't go on" used to just happen, with no lead up to warn me. The first time it happened i was in ainsburys (by the bread shelf) and just had to hang on to it!

[Baldric]

Jenna, that can't have been nice/easy for you, about 3+ yrs back I had to use Elbow Crutches for a while, first two then down to one, some people were very helpful and a lot of others would have walked right through me if I'd let them and I'm a 17st ex RM, it can't have been pleasant for you.

[MissCommando]

My husband has been on crutches for 3 years now (and will be for the rest of his life) and it can be a bloody nightmare. He has to use a wheelchair when we go out now as he just gets too exhausted on the crutches. You have to be so, so careful in this type of weather. We're keeping our fingers crossed we don't get snow or ice because it's lethal if you need walking aids.

My husband used to work an hour away and when he caught the train, most days people would not give up a seat for him for the hour journey, so he would have to suffer so much standing/balancing on one leg. You are never going to stop these selfish people, unfortunately.

No words of wisdom here, it's bloody tough and I feel so lucky that I am not disabled. I really, really feel for those of you who are suffering :( x

[Euphemia]

As another new stick user, I commiserate with you Jenna. Fortunately I have come across just as many helpful as unhelpful gestures.

[EDDIE51]

Have you made a start on the DLA application yet ? get on to the CAB and book an appointment with a claims adviser. The advisers get very booked up so you need to book one in advance, but they are superb at getting the claim correct and have a much higher success rate than people doing it themselfes. From what you have said I would be astounded if you do not qualify for the higher rate DLA and carers allowance.

[bednobs]

to get carers allowance, you have to have someone actually doing not insubstantial caring duties for you

[EDDIE51]

Yes the person you nominate as carer has to state that they spend time caring for you, I forget the number of hours. But it can be anyone they do not have to be related to you.

[slinky.kate]

35 hours a week

[lady-janine]

jenna - was so sad to read this. sincerely hope that things improve for you very quickly. if i was nearer would willing come and help you. take care and look after yourself.xx

[furrypusscat]

Sorry you had a bad day, lets hope things get easier. I was going to ask if you have made a start on the DLA form, but I see someone has beat me to it. Good luck with it as I and others have said, it is best to get some help from an adviser as they know how to word things to give you the best chance of getting it.

[Smowball]

Hope you're having a better day x

[Eve]

Thanks all. OT wasn't much use re DLA so will get an appointment with CAB. Just me and the cat at home and family live a fair way away so no carer. Better day today. Still tricky round the shops but got myself a rucksack and have just donea Tesco order for all my usual heavy/bulky stuff like cat food and biscuits, cordial, loo roll and kitchen towel and things like washing up liquid so I only need lighter stuff. I get a lot of fresh stuff, fruit, salad etc... but at least easier to carry those and can get bits throughout the week.

Fingers crossed it'll make life easier :) Thank you for all you advice and support and nice words xxx

[Scarlett]

Hi Jenna, I really sympathise. I've had my stick since 2009 and now I barely notice it. I can now only walk a few steps so I haven't noticed any negative comments. However, I couldn't do grocery shopping anymore- and I recommend all of the supermarkets delivery service. In my opinion, Ocado is really good quality and not that expensive if you choose Ocado brand rather than Waitrose. They also do very good delivery rates for new customers. Sainsburys is also good. Asda may be cheap but it's a false economy. I end up throwing most of it out as it goes off quickly and is often horrible! Tescos is not great but in between Sainsburys and Asda. Have you tried Healthspan liquid Glucosamine by the way? I think it really helps!!x

[petal54]

Hope things get easier for you soon.shops in my area seem pretty helpful.I've got M/S which affects my walking,so people prob think I'm p'd up,tough on 'm,getts me out of house,all the best

[joko]

try not to view it as though they were all selfish etc, for all you kmow most of them could have had very good reasons for wanting their seat... and needed it just as much as you ... arthritis, asthma, chest pains, pregnancy etc ...

i get snotty looks sometimes because they think im young and healthy - im not and i dont give up my seat unless the person is really bad.. because i need to sit too... i am in a lot of pain,

[Eve]

Thanks Scarlett and Petal.

I didn't assume they didn't need a seat Joko, not in the disabled bit anyway (unlikely though that not one person on the entire lower floor of a doubledecker couldn't have moved upstairs). I didn't look like I needed one until the stick. It was just the capping off of a bad day with worrying I was going to have to get off and wait for another bus as I wouldn't be able to stand and I was already freezing and in a lot of pain and it was half an hour to the next bus.

There is a general problem though with buses round here, really not very disability friendly, it's like a freeforall to get on at busy times (I nearly got pushed over earlier), the drivers often won't give you chance to sit down before moving off (often at speed) and with seats, especially people putting bags on seats and blocking them off, cigarette and dope smoking and antisocial behaviour too. I start work at 7am and finish early to miss rush hour as much as I can, similarly the school kicking out run round my way.

[MissCommando]

Sorry Joko but I fail to believe that the majority of the passengers on a bus or train are disabled and NEED the seat.

[Scarlett]

You should write to the bus company and tell them this. They need your feedback. I do! I think also a lot needs to happen to help people who are disabled in that they just can't walk much, elderly and otherwise. There are huge sections of my city which have no seats, and which are pedestrianised so I can't get a cab to drop me off there or pick me up. The disability advisors assume that everyone who is disabled is in a wheelchair, and so do a lot of the public. I will be writing to my MP about this to try and get more seats and more awareness of people who walk limited amounts, with or without a stick!