Confused At 30 - Premature Midlife Crisis?

[MadMen]

Aghhh! I am so annoyed this morning and I think I'm having either some kind of mental breakdown, or a premature midlife crisis. Or both.
As you know, I met a guy not so long ago, and he was a bit of a twit. I started warming to him though, and it appeared the feeling was mutual.
BUT, he just keeps on messing me around and it's really, really frustrating!
He say's he's gonna come round, then he doesn't. He says he's busy with his mates, but then pops round unexpected and always when it's totally not convenient. He never lets me know any of this. A simple text would be nice, but I don't ever hear anything until the next day.
He spends most of his time during the day at the gym, and works until late at night. He seems to have loads of time for his mates, and is always planning to do stuff with them over the weekend, and planning holidays, but when it comes to me it's a bit like 'whenever I've got 5 minutes to spare, or need somewhere to sleep'. He went through a stage of coming round at 4am, when he finished work, but I had to put a stop to that as it was making me really tired the next day and, unlike him, I have stuff to do and can't be laying in bed until midday. We had a bit of a row about it all, and he said I wasn't 'letting him in to my life', and that's why he spent so much time with his mates?! I wasn't being nasty, but I explained to him that I wasn't go to start playing happy families with someone I'd only just met. Anyway, we both came to the conclusion that it wasn't really going anywhere, but we would stay as friends - which suited me fine.
He offered to pick something up for me the other day, as it was on his way home, and popped round to drop it off. The conversation was really forced and he sent me a text after he left to say he felt awkward and wanted more than to be just friends. Aghhhh!
He rang me yesterday and asked if he could pop round and collect his trousers (other thread) to which I said I wouldn't have them until the morning. He said he'd come round anyway as he wanted to chat. I asked him to come round after 9, which he said was fine.
Anyway, I waited and waited and text him at 10 to ask if he was still coming. No reply. Totally fed up and annoyed, I went to bed at about half 11/12, and sent him a text to say so.
4 o'clock this morning my doorbell goes!! Not happy. He says there was trouble at work (what, all night!?) and that he didn't have a signal... which is highly unlikely. He ended up staying here, and then I asked him to leave about an hour ago as I have to go and pick the kids up in a bit and have stuff to do.
Well, that went down like a lead balloon. He said he'd come with me. I said no way blasé. Him and my ex coming face-to-face is not really something I'm ready to deal with just yet. He got dressed, went downstairs and just left without saying a word. I phoned him, no answer, so sent him a text to say I was sorry. Why am I apologising? I feel like I'm dealing with Kevin the teenager !

Quite therapeutic to have a good rant, but just wondering what the general feeling on this is.
Am I being horrible by 'not letting him in', or is he being unfair.

Either way, is it a case of 'flogging a dead horse'?

[Barmaid]

He reacts like that after he treated you like he did? Nutter. Violent nutter too. How is he going to react 6 months in when you have a row.

Best off shot. If he contacts you again tell him you find contact with him upsetting and if he persists you will report it to the police.

[MadMen]

Yeah, you do make a good point Tambo. Thanks.

Ahh, you're not as bad as everyone says... ;)) (how's the avatar situation going?) :P x

[tamborine]

me - bad ? I've given up on the avatar - Ed's loss :)

[MadMen]

Thanks BM :-)

I wonder if it's all the steroids having an effect! :-/ Not something I want to be a part of, or want in my life... let alone my kids life!
I know deep down I'm best off without him. He's shown me a side to him I never knew about, and I don't like it at all.
He's been fairly quiet today, but if he does get in contact again and starts with the abuse, I will threaten him with the police.

P.s I've written up that letter, it'll be with you in the morning :-)
Thank you. x

[MadMen]

Lol Tambo. I was just messing :))
I lost my avatar once.

I find bribing ed with G&T helps :))

[starone]

Madmen, you disappoint me. I thought you had more sense than to give this bloke the time of day. Get rid of him, and quickly. As my old mother used to say, and now I have taken her place and am saying it, there's plenty more fish in the sea, girl, than ever came out of it.

[MadMen]

Star, best recent answer :)
I have in fact 'got rid', he just happened to show up that night unexpectedly. More fool me for answering the door, I know.

[tamborine]

I would be too scared to sleep in your situ, without cop support.

I've got bikers who keep close guard on me, only coz I house their bikes & let them do trials here.

[MadMen]

"I would be too scared to sleep in your situ, without cop support. "

Well thanks for that, Tambo! :-/

I don't really have anyone close to me (as in proximity) that could be 'on hand' but I do have some friends who, if the going gets tough, then hopefully they'd be there to offer some... er... assistance.
Actually, I could probably do with your biker mates! :)

[ummmm]

How long were you seeing this dimlo?

[society]

Maddy, if I don't see you on here for a couple days I'll become suspicious. So you know you have to post :)

[MadMen]

Lol. Thanks for making me laugh :D

Not long at all. Like a month, maybe a month and a bit.

You ok? :)

[MadMen]

Soc, if I didn't post on here then you'd seriously KNOW there was something up!

[MadMen]

Lol. Still chuckling away at 'dimlo'

[ummmm]

A month or so....Jeeeeeeeez.

Were you asking me if I was okay?

[lcg]

do not answer the door at all unless you know who it is. tell friends to ring when they get to yours and check through a window if you are able to before opening it. if he comes round and bangs on your door loads, call thepolice while he is doing it. good luck x

[MadMen]

Sure was :-)

[MadMen]

Lcg, I don't have any friends that will come knocking on my door.
I ditched all those for this numpty....

[ummmm]

I'm sound :-)

To be fair I would have brushed off the dipstick after a week or so. If a man 'expects' to be brought into childrens lives after a few weeks then they clearly are not the kind of man that you should welcome into your home.

[starone]

Good advice by lcg - make sure you are safe and the kids of course.