How Can I Get My Friend To Forgive Me?

[ellenperenge]

My one friend has a really huge gut but a skinny body. I've been making fun of her for it for a while. She constantly works out, and she gets skinnier everywhere except her gut. Her gut is so big she looks six months pregnant. She went to the doctor recently because for the past couple of months she has been in intense pain in her abdomen, her side, and down her right leg and her lower back. It turns out that the reason she has a huge gut is because she has a six pound ovarian cyst. She is actually a lot smaller than she thought, but the cyst has been growing for a couple years now. She has been mad at me for a couple of weeks because I called her a big fat pathetic fatty. I only know all of this because one of our mutual friends told me what is going on. I feel bad now that I know she isn't fat. I've already apologized once but she told me to **** off and she doesn't want my sympathy. How do I get her to forgive me?

[lilacben]

You are her friend but see how skinny she is and still call her a "big fat pathetic fatty". Just think about why she isnt speaking to you. Really think about it.!

[EvianBaby]

Me and my friend have a unwritten packed. She can call me big nose if I call her bucket f@nny and neither of us gets upset. It works well.

[EvianBaby]

Pact - not packed.

[murraymints]

Write to her...

[VHG]

I am not sure if this is a wind up. Anyway....

>>>I've been making fun of her for it for a while.
>>>because I called her a big fat pathetic fatty.

Some friend you are !

I dont blame her for being annoyed with you and I think time will be the only healer here.

Write her a letter apologizing, then keep your distance till she has mellowed.

I also think you need to look at yourself and how you relate to people.

[VHG]

I notice this is posters first question so it may be a wind up.

[ellenperenge]

Not sure if this will edit question or what but if anyone reads back who has answered, no this is not a wind up. This is a serious question. Why is it that people assume if something is a first question it must be a fake? Sites like this do have to have a first question you know.

[pizza]

There has been a lot of wind up people that have just come on the site, some with several site names so people do get a bit suspicious at times.
Regarding your post I know some good friends do have taking the p**s banter as EvianBaby and her friend do, I would be thinking seriously about murraymints suggestion regarding writing a heartfelt apology,and a lesson learned about how precious friendship is.

[baza]

yes, we all have to ask a first question however, some first's are sometmes wind ups so you will have to forgive the doubters.
The suggestion to write a letter and then stand back for a while is a good one, which imo you should take up.

[Canary42]

In my opinion you've blown the friendship BIG TIME and are hardly likely ever to get it back.

It's not surprising you only have (had) one friend IMO.

Learn from it and make a few new friends.

[2sp_]

Even if your friend was "just" fat you should never have said something so nasty to her. That's not how friends behave! And it wasn't just a one off sarcastic comment, by your own admission you have made fun of her for quite a while.

My friends and I do take the mick out of each other, but never about appearance, that's just a step too far.

I think you have to admit you were wrong to say these things to her and ask her to forgive you. If she says no, then you will just have to suck it up and learn not to be so mean to others in future.

[grasscarp]

I think VHG answer is what I would have recommended too. There is very little else you can do. I would say something like I realise too late that I have been very rude to you in the past. It was meant in a jokey way but was unnecessary and wrong of me. I feel mortified and apologise. If you ever find it in your heart to forgive me I would be very glad.
Leave it at that.

[woofgang]

Forgive you ? I would never want to see or speak to you again.

[Sharingan]

I think if you only feel bad because you realise its a medical condition and she's not just fat then you don't understand yet what friendship is. You should love your friends whatever they look like and it's not nice to make fun of people who are fat. Write her a letter but I wouldn't think she'll be very excited to hear from you.

[2sp_]

You should be trying to think of a way to help her feel better, not yourself.

[Big Jenny]

With friends like you, who needs enemies? What an awful thing to say to ANYONE, let alone someone who is supposed to be your friend. I totally agree with woofgang on this one.

[mccfluff]

i can see why people would be queuing up to be your friend

you only feel bad as she has a medical condition. I don;t think she should forgive you

[chaptazbru]

I don't think this is for real - sorry but that's how I feel .....

[AlwaysConfused]

I've always called my best mate fatarse (because she does), she calls me shortarse (because I am). It's ok if both parties are happy with a bit of banter. She obviously isn't, and has probably been making her a little paranoid about her weight. Apologise, tell her that you have always been secretly envious of her smallness, let her know that the 'fatty' comments were sarcasm as she is so tiny and that you did not know that she had taken it seriously. It's definitely suck-up time!

[chelle7272]

Agree chaptazbru, strange first post if it's real.

If it is real, well i wouldn't want to know the poster either.