How Big Of An Age Difference Is Too Big?

[Ann321]

am 19 and he is 34 (I know big age difference!). He comes quiet often to the cafe where I work. We joke around like, I do with many of the customers. We started flirting a couple months ago, but still very small amount and I did not think too much about it. Until the other day, as he paid for his food he handed me his number. Part of me knows there is a huge age difference and to walk away now. The other part thinks I'm very mature for my age and he seems to be a little immature... can we meet somewhere in the middle mentally? What should I think of this? I'm not looking for you to make up my mind for me, but maybe just some kind advice. Thanks!

[B00]

i was 19 sqad, and stupid, and at the risk of going all serious and straying from the point of the OP, I am now old enough to know the hurt and devastation an affair causes, wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

[snags]

B00 would destroy you lol... have you seen those snakes that eat eggs whole and eject just the shell?

[Sqad]

BOO.....ah! right......got it.......

[jno]

friend of mine married her teacher (well, she'd left school by the time they were wed) and they had a long and happy life together despite a big age gap.

He died some years ago; she is only in her 60s now. They knew this would happen, of course; but you may need to be mentally prepared for a long Third Age.

All this is jumping the gun since you're only just thinking about beginning. But if you think you can cope with a life that isn't entirely devoted to the company and interests of people of your own age, give it a go.

[B00]

As i said, i don't see the harm in going on a few "no promises made" type of dates, without committing to a relationship.

[Prudie]

You are 19 and if he was 19 and leaving his number you wouldn't be worrying about a life partner possibility so forget that bit. I'm in a big age gap relationship so wouldn't judge on that either. The only thing that is a bit questionable is not the gap but your young age - if you were 22 I don't think anyone would take much notice - not necessary logical but that's human nature.

[FredPuli43]

My first wife, 3 years younger, second wife 5 years younger, present partner 14 years younger. I think I'm spotting a trend. Well, when you reach my time of life you start thinking of someone younger enough to look after you in old age !

It's not so much the age difference as the ages of the partners. 19 is pretty young to have a 34 year-old partner whereas 30 and 45 would be a meeting of two mature and experienced people.

But give it a go. It's early yet and who knows?

[Sqad]

BOO

"no promises made" type of dates,

In my days one just went out on a date, there was no such thing as a "no promises date" or indeed a "promises date."

Have i missed your point?

[tonyav]

Oh I don't know sqad, usually I wouldn't go on a date unless I was on a promise !.

[McMouse]

sqad, I remember being "on a promise" many years ago.

[Sqad]

tony.......God! no!....on a "promise" took all the fun out of "fighting "for it;-)

From BOO's post itl looked as though there were two types of dates one of which you were guaranteed not to "get it and the second type where it was "offered on a plate"

I may have misunderstood BOO.......;-)

[tonyav]

But sqad, it cut out a lot of errrrm time wasting !.

[DTCwordfan]

Aaaahh the wooden fence behind the "Rat and Packer" - it brings back memories......the older woman

[Sqad]

No, sorry tony....time was never "wasted" trying to get a bit........

[magsmay]

Depends Anne whether you're looking for a bit of fun or a meaningful relationship - whichever it is, the latter usually starts with the former so give him a call - I'd be up front and ask him if he's married-don't expect to get the truth though lol! In my experience middle 30's is a funny age for men so be aware there may be a partner somewhere. As for the question of age -19:34 -its not so much the years, as where you are in life - think he may be after a bit of an ego massage with a young woman and you are attracted to his maturity?

[tonyav]

Not if you had a date with the Sally Army bird that I unfortunately got landed with one one occasion sqad :-(

[Sqad]

magsmay...welcome back.

I have thought about you as i have been in the "dungeon" a couple of times on my young ABdays.......on both occasions i felt it was worth it.

[FredPuli43]

Guaranteed not to get it versus on a plate ? It's the in -between:

"I like the girls who do,
And I like the girls who don't,
But the girl I like the best of all,
And I think you'll say I'm right
Is the girl who says she never does,
But she looks as though she..."

Max Miller (he always left the last word for the audience to guess)

Still fundamentally true.

[Sqad]

Fred.....LOL

tony....Sally Army girls.....brings back memories of one who sold "War Cries" in the Blind Beggar in Whitechapel in the 1950's.

Back of the pub, on the empty beer crates and those thick flannelette dark blue knickers.

Yes........brings a smile to my face.......

[tonyav]

Jammy git sqad, I got nowhere.