ChatterBank0 min ago
How Big Of An Age Difference Is Too Big?
71 Answers
am 19 and he is 34 (I know big age difference!). He comes quiet often to the cafe where I work. We joke around like, I do with many of the customers. We started flirting a couple months ago, but still very small amount and I did not think too much about it. Until the other day, as he paid for his food he handed me his number. Part of me knows there is a huge age difference and to walk away now. The other part thinks I'm very mature for my age and he seems to be a little immature... can we meet somewhere in the middle mentally? What should I think of this? I'm not looking for you to make up my mind for me, but maybe just some kind advice. Thanks!
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Two of my married friends have been happily married for many years to men who are 18 years older than them. It seems to have worked out OK
although if you didn't know the ages of the women you'd think they were about 10 years older than they actually are, not that that's important.
I agree with RATTER though, what he says could well be true, it very much depends on individuals. Try it and see!
although if you didn't know the ages of the women you'd think they were about 10 years older than they actually are, not that that's important.
I agree with RATTER though, what he says could well be true, it very much depends on individuals. Try it and see!
My husband is 18 years older than me, we are mentally on the same wavelength!
When I was 19, I went out with someone for six years who was 23 years older than me, as woman saw it, or I was 23 years younger than him, as blokes saw it! I've been out with people the same age as me, and we have had a great time. So age to me is not relevant. The noticeable differences when I was 19 were:
I'd spend all night playing computer games, he spent all day doing the Times Cryptic crossword. I taught him to play, he taught me to solve cryptic clues; I was happy watching teen films, he was happy watching David Attenborough, no real compromise was made there!; I liked clubs, he liked restaurants, so we went to pubs instead. Any relationship is about compromise.
That relationship, as stated, only lasted 5 years. With the age difference between me and OH, people presume I am older than I look, and he is younger than he looks! I know 18 year olds more mentally mature than my husband (but I wouldn't change him for the world)
When I was 19, I went out with someone for six years who was 23 years older than me, as woman saw it, or I was 23 years younger than him, as blokes saw it! I've been out with people the same age as me, and we have had a great time. So age to me is not relevant. The noticeable differences when I was 19 were:
I'd spend all night playing computer games, he spent all day doing the Times Cryptic crossword. I taught him to play, he taught me to solve cryptic clues; I was happy watching teen films, he was happy watching David Attenborough, no real compromise was made there!; I liked clubs, he liked restaurants, so we went to pubs instead. Any relationship is about compromise.
That relationship, as stated, only lasted 5 years. With the age difference between me and OH, people presume I am older than I look, and he is younger than he looks! I know 18 year olds more mentally mature than my husband (but I wouldn't change him for the world)
Whatever you decide, do so with your eyes open. If you are looking for small term fling that would probably get intimate, and you are sure you wouldn't get too emotionally involved, that's one thing. If, as you imply, you are concerned at the longer term issues then whilst these relationships can work, and age seems no issue whilst you believe you are both close to mid/late twenties, be aware he'll be getting into later life issues whilst you are coming to terms with no longer being young. But no decision you make on this now binds you tomorrow anyway; you may wish just to see how it goes.
