best mate

[cymruambyth1]

Hi, I was just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation, which im sure you have. I was best mates with a boy, we became really good mates in school, and he was always there for me, but i had no other feelings for him other than a mate, then he went to uni and we still got on really well. Then he suddenly just stopped talking to me for nearly a year, i finally found out after he got drunk and let it all rip that he was in love with me and doesnt want to be my friend cos he doesnt want to hurt me, we sort of made friends and just said we cant spend as much time together, but things are still  bit weird between us. any suggestions, do you think we should still be friends??

[Scarlett]

I don't think things can ever get back to normal completely, perhaps until he gets over you properly, and sees someone else. If he is with someone else, he may not give you the attention you are used to, as he won't be in love with you anymore. Plus his girlfriend may not like it!

[MargeB]

It's ultimately possible, but requires effort and openness. It has happened to me, twice, with male friends, and I'm a straight man.

[woofgang]

I think what will happen will happen. Either you will be able to be friends or not....bit of a wait and see thing

[PEATBOG]

not sure why everyone assumes that this is a 'boy / girl' situation? -

[PEATBOG]

sorry meant to write - just be a friend... good ones are very hard to find...

[janelle_ire]

wud recommmend a read of "where rainbows end" - cecelia ahern. same kinof situation yet kind of different!.. dey get together in the end any way..

[kazzee69]

I think you can absolutely remain friends (if thats what you still want). You need to get things back to the way they were. Ask for advice like you used to, go out like you used to and just be friends again. This 'situation' is only going to be a problem if you let it be one and as you two were such good friends before you can easily get past this and get back to the way things used to be. Good friends are hard to come by so don't let this one slip through the net!

[cymruambyth1]

It's hard to be able to go back to how we were before. He really loved me and felt guilty if we went out somewhere for the day, he thought my boyfriend would have a problem with it, but my boyfriend doesnt mind at all, he's happy I've got a good friend but my friend just basically said he needs to get over me, and it was difficult for him for us to be close friends spending so much time together because he wanted more, and he felt he was only doing things cos he was in love with me not because he was my friend, I mean now he's got a girlfriend it's a bit better but I still feel things are a bit strange, but he will be going back to uni soon, so I suppose everything will change. Thanks for all your comments though, they've all been a great help and good to hear other opinions.