Ocd-Like Traits

[sherrardk]

We have noticed over the last couple of months that boy#2 (9 years old) is increasingly displaying some OCD-like traits (excessive hand washing to the point his hands are actually sore, exact (though not extreme) bedtime rituals, has to be covered in a certain sofa throw, in a certain way to play his x-box, reliving past (imagined) misdemeanours, labourious cereal eating system, etc). What should we do about this as we don't want to get more extreme but don't want to intervene if it is just a stage? Thanks for any help.

[Smowball]

I dont know much about this, but they sound very like a boy I know who is autistic. He does a few of those things, but like I said, I dont know a lot about it. It could well be just a phase he is going through. How long has it been going on? x

[Sharingan]

My little brother Ciaran is in the autistic spectrum and he's very clever, very weird and has lots of compulsive rituals, like having to have 3 of each type of cutlery and excessive counting, an obsession with anything geared or wheeled and when he was very little he wouldn't speak for himself he whispered to me first and I had to repeat it for him (he's grown out of that which is just as well because I'm not there very much:). Some things he does he's always done, some he's grown out of and some are new, but they are not so different or problematic that it really affects his day to day life.

[jno]

Sharingan, can I just suggest you probably shouldn't give people's real names on a public website like this? Too many weirdos out there.

[ummmm]

At 9 excessive hand washing could be down to something he learnt in school. I remember my science teacher telling us what bugs lurked under our finger nails.

I'm sure most of the class spent a lot of time washing their hands after that!

The other stuff also seems quite normal to me.

[doctordb]

Seek the advice of a professional.

[sherrardk]

Not sure how long it's bee going on for (major mother failure), just occurred to me that he does strange things and has strange thoughts. It doesn't really affect his day to day life (although we are always waiting for him if we go out). Just wondered if it is something we should be doing something about.

[cazzz1975]

you have to be careful not to get ASD and OCD entangled, both are quite different, its early days though sher, it could be a phase brought on by something, he may grow out of it once he hits puberty.

[woofgang]

Have you had a gentle chat with him about why he does the handwashing?

[sherrardk]

We will monitor him for a while (now that we realise that his behaviour is a bit odd). He washes his hands so much because of germs.

[woofgang]

maybe offer him something like moisturising baby wipes to use instead? You would need to "sell" them a bit to him.

[bednobs]

i think it might be a good idea for you to speak to his teacher and ask him/her what, if anything, they have observed

[woofgang]

something like this
http://www.wetones.co.uk

[sebhfhion]

Can I suggest you actually ask him why he's washing his hands so often? My daughter went through a phase of doing things 3 times, checking things constantly and other odd things like a total fascination with death. She was about 10 years old at the time and grew out of it although she still does tend to over check things before she goes out of the house. He does sound like something is bothering him so I would just have a chat,

[tamborine]

My mid child is same. He's dyslexic, hard of hearing & late talker tho now at 38 he holds down a responsible caretaker job; best with physical & manual work. He repairs motors & upkeeps property (services & maintenance). Good with animals & can sniff out a mouse miles away.

He chooses a lone life but has lots of mates. lost trust in women after his fiancee dble crossed him.

Nowt to worry about, yours, like mine, might be appalled at disarry & germs. I'm not a tidy person; could be why my son is ;)

[ladyalex]

If he is washing his hands to the point where he is doing damage to his skin, I think I might be asking my GP to do a referral to the local Child Clinical Psychology department.
I cannot see that it would do any harm and if there is a problem, then the sooner something is done about it the better. Don't let the GP fob you off with their own brand of Child Psychology. Insist on a specialist.
I seriously doubt that you have shown any signs of 'mother failure'. It takes time to realise that there might be a problem and I expect that you have picked up on it quicker than most.

[twoboys]

Without saying your son has this please read this, not everybody knows about this or understands this, but I do as I work with children, who are just like this boy, i have the empathy for these children and my heart goes out to people who have this condition and their parents/carers...

[twoboys]

http://specialneedsjungle.com/2012/06/11/pathological-demand-avoidance-one-familys-story/

[twoboys]

soz!

[sherrardk]

Thanks all. I am a bit reluctant to go the whole doctor route as the boy is not stupid, he will know something is up. My husband said to him at bedtime something along the lines of 'just get into bed tonight and don't be fussing' and then he was down nearly in tears about all sorts of stuff and kept asking if he should 'do his pillows now'. Whatever is bothering him I don't want him in tears about it. I will put some hand wipes in the bathroom to save his poor skin and see how it goes. He is such a worrier (but so lovely). xxx

[lcg]

I'd like to comment on your 'mother failure' statement......do not be so hard on yourself. You do have lots of happy, healthy children in your home and it is quite a job rearing that many offspring! I've only had one and managed to screw him up a little......that is normal in families. If you do have a family member doing odd things, it does take longer to notice than with a stranger, for example. Everybody is a little bit odd and has foibles, imho......but the behaviour of washing hands until they are sore and other 'routines' in a child so young does need addressing sooner rather than later. I would advise you to attend your gp and ask for a referral to your local child and adolescent mental health team - for an assessment of some of the disorders already mentioned, but also for anxiety-driven behaviour. Purely to get your child help annd minimise the stress ans distress caused between all involved. That way, if you know there is something going on, you can also do something about it. I for one think you are a fantastic mum and usually smile with pleasure at your posts - I think you are being way too hard on yourself and have got to the point of not knowing what to do to sort it out and keep the peace - the mum's role in a nutshell. Get him assessed and help him with his foibles early. God bless....Lisa x