Is This Infidelity?

[cameliaheartfelt]

If your husband joins twitter and follows an old flame, is this
Infidelity? She has followed him back but they havent made direct
contact, it is like an unsaid communication. She is always tweeting
generally saying where she is, what she's doing etc and retweets quotes like don't leave it too late to tell someone how u feel. Hubby claims he didnt know
you could see someone on twitter without following them. He
says he was just being nosey, I feel like he has broken our marriage
vows and I feel differently about him and us now.

[ummmm]

No, Sqad is judging it by what his intentions would be and generally sticking the boot in as per usual.

[DSJ]

Jeza, I agree with you wholeheartedly.

[bednobs]

well as no-one knows the OP, sqad has as much chance at being right as you have ummmm!

[ChillDoubt]

How is he (Sqad) sticking the boot in?

For what it's worth, most people in possession of a pair of testicles would agree that the there is a more than 50% chance that the male in question has an ulterior motive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKYM_iuqzdc

[ummmm]

Yes I know, bednobs, but the OP is asking if following an old flame on twitter can be classed as infidelity. So she's clearly already feeling insecure without Sqad putting in her head that his intentions are to meet up with her.

[emmie]

chill, tend to agree, even those without, namely women, who have been known to kick start a previous love affair, if my o/h was texting or tweeting someone that he knew before, i wouldn't have liked it at all.

[ChillDoubt]

Shall I set the scene?

A married couple are sitting at home in their living room. Lately, the husband has become involved in this new Twitter mullarkey. Never bothered before, but suddenly he's giving it a try.
Not a lot happens for the first week or so, then one night while he's sitting on the couch, engaged in his mobile phone he giggles to himself.
His wife looks up from her magazine.
"Something funny?" she asks innocently.
"No darling, just something someone wrote on Twitter".
"Oh, care to share it?"
"Nah, no point, it's nobody you would know anyway".
This continues for the next half hour......

Hubby now decides he's got a thirst for a couple of lagers. Doesn't fancy the pub but will walk the dog to the Spar around the corner. It's a 2 minute walk at best, but he takes his phone anyway.

Need I go on......?

[ummmm]

Yes because I don't know what point you're trying to make.

[ChillDoubt]

I won't ummmm for the OP's sake as I'm sure the situation she is in at the moment is not a hundred miles away from the scenario I set.

As I said earlier, if she's uncomfortable with it she needs to broach the subject now.

[DaisyNonna]

Of course not.
Why the jealousy?
Is he not allowed friends, even those with whom he is he is not in direct contact?
Which vows has he broken?

[ummmm]

Well she hasn't mentioned a change in his behaviour so it's a bit unfair to jump to conclusions. He's followed his ex on twitter probably because he's nosey.

[Sqad]

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Question1142680.html

[Prudie]

There is no way anyone can predict if this will develop or not, we don't know them, it's about whether OP can deal with what's happened so far. It's as likely to be an innocent diversion as it is to progress to something else.

[ChillDoubt]

From the OP:

She is always tweeting
generally saying where she is, what she's doing etc and retweets quotes like don't leave it too late to tell someone how u feel.
-------------------------------------------
Interpret that how you like. Men will interpret that in their own way..... generally in contrast to how women would.

[bednobs]

you are not the editor of this site, and therefore it really isn't your job to tell people what they can and can't post. - camelia has asked for people's opinions, and just because your opinion is not the same as others doesn't mean yours is right and theirs is wrong.
EVERYONE has to jump to a conclusion (being as we don't know any more than the op has told us) the one that you've jumped to is different than sqad's that's all

[ChillDoubt]

I've heard that or something similar countless times in the staff rest room trig, in a working environment that is 80% female!

The "he never giggles or laughs like that when he's with me" is usually the most oft heard quote.

[jno]

unless there was something in your marriage vows about not speaking to other women, no, it's not infidelity. Any suggestions that it means he's going to meet up with her are pure speculation; Twitter and FB are famous for creating millions of "friends" who never meet. And they go on all the time about where they are and what they're doing. That's what social media are for.

If you've got other evidence that they're up to something, or planning to get up to something, then by all means worry about it. But just following each other on line means nothing.

[Ann]

Maybe it's just curiosity - if they went out years ago, he may just want to see what she looks like now, but don't think they have photos on Twitter, do they? Is that only facebook? I must admit, 50 years later, I have often wondered how some of my ex's turned out, I saw one of mine and nearly fell off my chair with laughter ...................and relief!!!