Long Distance Relationship

[Sceptre]

My daughter has had a long distance relationship with a lovely man. They have been together for 5 years. At last the time is finally right for them to move in together. She is quite happy to move 300 miles away from home and get a job in his neck of the woods and start their lives properly, together.

He has suddenly announced that he is thinking about moving in with a "gay" friend of his and has asked her to get a flat of her own so that they could see each other regularly. He says he is worried that they might "not get on" if they lived together.

They are both really happy when they go away on holidays together and love each other.

She is feeling like she's had a kick in the teeth and that after 5 years, they know each other well enough and love each other enough now to make this commitment. She is coming up to 30 years of age and he is 29.

Do you think she should call it a day, or let her life waffle on and quite possibly waste more years of her life?

[Sqad]

\\\\\Do you think she should call it a day, or let her life waffle on and quite possibly waste more years of her life?\\\\

OR

Move in with a "gay."

Do you really need other peoples thoughts?

[joggerjayne]

That's a long way to think about moving when there are doubts like that.

[237SJ]

There`s not future if he`s gay, is there? He obviously just wants has as a friend.

[Sceptre]

She is not being asked to move in with a gay, Sqad. And yes, I wouldn't have posted the question if I didn't want other people's thoughts!

[ummmm]

It is a kick in the teeth. He sounds reluctant...

I wouldn't risk it.

[Sceptre]

He' s not gay, just moving in with a mate for financial reasons, who happens to be gay.

[rockyracoon]

I'd definitely be calling it a day, sounds like he's getting cold feet or is gay, either or, not good.

[Mamyalynne]

Well, if he isn't ready to commit after this length of time I feel she should think very carefully about moving so far away.

[ummmm]

The sexuality of his friend is irrelevant if he's straight!

[McMouse]

Is the gay friend of his male or female?

[woofgang]

well either he is gay and has been hiding it or he isn't and is trying to let her down gently. Either way probably not what she was looking for. If it was me I would be cutting my losses.

[Zacs-Master]

moving in with a mate for financial reasons....

But would her moving in solve those financial difficulties.?

[Sqad]

LOL......true.

The boyfriend moves in with a "gay" and she moves into accommodation on the periphery to remain friends with her obviously gay or at best bisexual boyfriend.

I am a bit "old fashioned" here Sceptre.....heterosexual they call it.

My opinion remains unchanged.

[Sceptre]

The gay friend is male.

It does sound like he doesn't want to commit and has been happy to have the large distance between hem.

[Baldric]

300 mls is a long way to move, so if there are any doubts at all,
don't do it!

[joggerjayne]

Sceptre ...

Ignore sqad. He gets a bit grumpy at this time of day, until he's had his siesta.

Sqad, behave!

Long distance relationships can work. I'm in one myself. But you need to be quite certain of how you feel about the other person. Especially if you are contemplating taking the relationship any further.

It sounds like this relationship could be a bit too much "one way"?

[KristalB]

Sceptre, I think she should stay where she is and not commit to a man who perhaps is uncertain of his sexuality. Is he gently letting her down? perhaps. Or is he just having cold feet about getting serious with someone? If this was the case then why move in with his male freind (gay or otherwise?) . To me the message he's giving is tht he's not ready for her to move in with him and maybe never will be. He could be Gay, I know 2 men who 'came out' one after 10 years of marriage and the father of 2 children, the other age 45 with 20 years of marriage and three children. I would advise her to sit down with him and have 'the conversation' this needs to be brought out into the open and her boyfriend may actually feel a sense of relief if she knows and can accept that he is Gay or Bi-Sexual.

[ummmm]

lol....move in with a 'gay' and that means you're gay or bisexual??

Nothing to do with being mates, him having accommodation?

[Sceptre]

Their relationship is heterosexual and "normal" Sqad.

JJ, I think you're right but I just want her to be happy.

[rockyracoon]

Sceptre, do you suspect him of being gay, as I'm struggling to find the flat mates sexuality relevant if he's definitely straight.