Feeling A Bit Guilty

[sherrardk]

Basically, I got to the end of my tether last night and had a hissy fit at himself (and then went to bed and had a good cry - neither the crying or the hissy fit are like me at all). He says he is feeling fine (he was really poorly at the start of July but has made a brilliant recovery) but he has done sod all round the house since he has been home from hospital (apart from make tea/coffee). I did apologise this morning and he did wash up while I was up the school but I am feeling a bit bad now. Not really a question, more of a vent, sorry.

[bednobs]

oh dear! i have more experience of being on the other side (the pathetic one that does nothing!) and i have to say, it's really easy to get in a routine of doing nothing, and the more you do nothing the less you want to do. Sometimes a good kick up the arse is what's needed, so you've probably done him a favour. Is he going back to work? Who is running the business while he does nothoing?

[DTCwordfan]

I wouldn't get too upset about this; ok, he has been ill, but complacency and even a little depression can set in, so a kick up the jacksey, verbally, can bring us back!

[sherrardk]

Thanks Bednobs, maybe I wasn't as bitchy as I thought. He won't be able to carry on with the business, not going to trust him up on a roof now (and he is no spring chicken to be fair). Think that's why I kicked off, he's well enough to play stupid bloody computer games but not well enough to set up the business idea we discussed (which would involve minimal physical labour from himself which I would be happy about).

[sherrardk]

Thanks DT, I rarely say anything negative, but oh, has it been a long 8 weeks.

[Eve]

Sounds like you just needed some kind of an outlet, you must have been under a huge amount of stress and pressure lately, never mind the worry and having all the kids to look after throughout it, you've been through a lot.

Hopefully he did just need a kick up the arse. Although I live alone now (so if I don't do it, no one will :)) I've known it from both sides and, like bednobs says, it is easy to get into a routine but then if he is well enough again to help with at least a bit, even his own share, then he seems to have needed a prod to get him out of the routine.

[tonyav]

Gotta say sherr, that after my similar medical episode it took me quite some time to get my motivation back, however after a few kicks up the @rse from my Mrs and my mother it did return.

[flump1]

You of all people should not apologise for throwing a hissy fit. Good for you ! You have been under such stress of late and then getting poorly on top, Sherr, don't worry and don't feel bad. Every one of us has an end of tether, you clearly reached yours today. He might feel insecure about what he can and can't do, delegate a little. And take good care of you xx

[sherrardk]

Thanks everyone, feel much less bitch-like now. There is only us, he doesn't talk to his family (they don't even know). Now I just have to sort out my friend (husband left nine weeks ago, I have been at her house nearly every evening over the long summer holidays) and calm should be restored. x

[rockyracoon]

Poor you, you've had a Sugar time lately Sherr, it was only a matter of time before you had an episode. Don't beat yourself up, it might have given himself a kick up the jacksy to take on a few heavier duties if he is able, if not then I'm sure he won't, either way the world will still carry in turning and you can always leave it til tomorrow, who's going to judge.

Sending hugs x

[tonyav]

Don't worry sherr, he will get over it.

[sherrardk]

Ps - obviously I would rather have him here, sitting on his arse, than the alternative. (still feeling a teeny tiny bitch-like)

[tonyav]

Has he got the van sorted yet, sherr ?.

[rockyracoon]

Stop it now! You're not a bitch, you're a stressed out mum/wife that's had more than her fair share in her plate lately. Now go and run yourself a nice bubble bath and have a relax.

[sherrardk]

Nah, bloody van is still sitting there. He says he is going to have a go at it but doesn't actually get round to it (maybe I should have a hissy fit about that tomorrow?). RR - I don't do baths, but I am having a drink so am relaxed. Just v unusual for me to have a go at him (can't remember the last time).

[tonyav]

Just thought that fixing the van would give him something to get interested about, and perhaps give him a bit of motivation.

[sherrardk]

Cheers Tony, know you have been in a similar position yourself. Not sure if he actually has the skills to fix it, I will do some gentle (non-hissy fit) nagging in the morning.

[rockyracoon]

Kep your chin up Sherr, all will be well xx

[tonyav]

Right I see, sherr ( about fixing the van ).
Has your OH got to go back to the QE for anymore tests ?.

[sherrardk]

He has to go for another scan at the QE (waiting for an appointment date to arrive) although I think all must be well as I took him to a & e a few weeks back (v v bad head) and they scanned him and said all was well with the thing they put in his head. When we go back, he can pick up his wallet that he left behind .

[tonyav]

sherr, how is he with his short term memory ?.