Going Out To Watch A Show With Female Friend

[wan_amri]

Hi my boyfriend has had this female friend for a very long time till he met me. According to him in the past she tried him on n told him that she liked him. But according to him, he refused her because he saw (still sees) her a best mate only. They apparently often went to watch shows together. Few months ago she bought them (for her and him) tickets to watch a gig. I asked my boyfriend whether he would still go with her alone without taking me with him. I told him i dont feel comfortable that my boyfriend would go to a show with a female friend. He tried to convince me that there will be nothing to worry about because he is not interested in her. Should i believe him and let him go to a gig with her alone?

[Cloverjo]

Yes, I think so. There's nothing to suggest they are going to sleep together. People can have friends of the opposite gender without sex being involved. Try to get to know her better so you can all go to places together.

[Mamyalynne]

Wan , in all fairness you seem to have a lot of doubts about him and his behaviour - if you don't like the way he operates then best you are just another of his friends rather than thinking you are ever going to be long term.

[Mamyalynne]

Clover, this from a few minutes ago........


http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Relationships-and-Dating/Question1484147.html

[ladyalex]

I agree with Mamya.
He's not ready for the kind of commitment you seem to want .

Better have him just as a friend for now.

[Cloverjo]

I've just seen your other post, wan.
I think if he's going to do anything with this girl it would have happened by now. However, as Mamya says, don't put too much of yourself into this relationship.

[Cloverjo]

Crossed posts with Mamya. Best to just treat him as a friend. Time to move on.

[wan_amri]

Have just got a response from him that he is not going to that gig with her. He said it is not right for him to go to a gig alone with another female person eventhough that person is his mate while he is in relationship. I asked how he refused to go with her. He said he told her that I would be in hospital having surgery around that date so not possible for him to go to a show with her. Why did he have to lie like that to refure to go? Why did he not tell the truth to her?

[Cloverjo]

I can't understand why he needed to lie like that. Will you now have to pretend to have had surgery if she calls round or phones?
Seems a bit drastic, and a terrible lie to try to pull off.

[murraymints]

is this the same boyfriend as in your other thread ?? to be honest there are very mixed signals here...

[Cloverjo]

Wan, you have two threads running about the same guy. In both of those threads most of the problem is his lying. He is not to be trusted. Carry on if he's fun for now, but for goodness sake don't think about a long term future with him.

[murraymints]

is this just a friend ? really ? given his penchant for dating sites and lying about it... can you believe anything he says..I would back out and move on ...

[Sqad]

\\\\Should i believe him and let him go to a gig with her alone?\\\

You can't stop him.

What do you want out of this relationship and are you getting it?
If you want a partner, boyfriend, whatever they call themselves these days, who doesn't lie, is faithful and devotes his time to you...then forget it.......they don't exist.

Either dump him or carry on with the relationship.......which to me doesn't sound too abnormal.

[murraymints]

Sqad you old cynic....lol

[scorpiojo]

;o))

[murraymints]

just look at scorpy and danny on their private Island in the Indian Ocean..they are very happy together with the crosswords and lexicons !!

[scorpiojo]

LOL x

[CrapAtCryptics]

In the best relationships trust is important as is space. There may be things that you like that your bf does not and vice versa - would you have gone to that gig if he wasnt going or expect him to go to something you like but he doesnt. It all comes down to trust so you have to ask yourself that question.

[Old_Geezer]

Oh we exist Sqad, we're just not exciting enough to attract and keep the ladies.
(The latter part is not so bad, combating the former is hard work.)

[murraymints]

meet you under the station clock at 3pm OG !

[Old_Geezer]

Sigh
Got the wrong station again :-(