Friends Forever

[lailu]

ok. but how.

[Mamyalynne]

That's a huge question , some friendships endure and others don't.

[ummmm]

Be yourself, accept that peoples lives will change (boyfriends/girlfriends) and don't rely on just one person.

My best mate lives in London. Sometimes I see him a couple of times a year...sometimes I don't see him for a few years. He'll always be my best mate though.

[woofgang]

no idea.....either it happens or it doesnt

[Old_Geezer]

Forever is a long time. What if one of you goes to heaven and the other to hell ?

[woofgang]

texting OG?

[scorpiojo]

:)

[Scarlett]

I've recently learned that you cannot make friendships last forever. having recently lost three of my best and longest friendships. One became so clingy and demanding that I couldn't cope with the amount of time she was demanding, and I had to withdraw. The next got a girlfriend and I became surplus to requirements. The next had depression and decided that I was the enemy, and laid into me because she was jealous that I had worked on a project with someone else. These people changed. The friendships we had 20 years ago, or 5 years ago were the ones that suited us both at that time. Then things change, and people change, and the relationship changes too. Sometimes this is okay and other times it becomes too much to sustain. It has been really hard but I have had to accept that it is just as important to seek new friends throughout life as it is to maintain the existing ones. Be a good friend, be the friend you would want to have. And then if it goes t**s up, at least you know you did your best.

[lailu]

I don't think so scarlet. if u r friends u will remain friends forever. that is the meaning of friendship. and it is based on heartfelt communications.

[Old_Geezer]

That's a very idealistic view, lailu. All relationships are individual and can differ. I take it that you are quite young.

[NoMercy]

Based on the cringey text speak, OG, I'd say so.

[Peter Pedant]

I am sorry to hear that scarlett

I had two good frenz and perhaps it was my fault for not tending the friendship with them. It is twenty years and I cant to contact them - and visit but what do I say after " I am here because my cancer has returned " and what do they say, after 'oh has it ? I had forgotten you had the first bout.'

BTW your depressed friend has a paranoid element and you should be prepared to be there for her when she recovers, and realises what is going on

its a rough world out there innit ?

[Scarlett]

I honestly thought that the friendships would last- they had lasted 25 years, 5 years and 22 years. But if people change and decide that you are the enemy, there is not really a lot you can do. I would accept their apologies and become friends again, but at the moment, I have done all I can. I have to stand up for myself and not be a doormat- and that means walking away to make that point that I will not be treated badly by my so-called friends. Life is too short for that!

[lailu]

to old geezer. no I am not young. relationship is always a partnership in my opinion. but each to its own. have a nice day.