Elderly Father In Hospital.

[Bigbad]

My 92 year old Dad has been in hospital for 2 weeks. Unfortunately, he’s completely lost the plot, hasn’t got a clue about anything, and now talks utter drivel. (Yesterday, he’d been to The Isle of Wight the night before, and my sister has just had a baby).

None of the staff are talking to me. (I’m his only visitor). Every time I go, I ask if someone could find the time to have a proper conversation with me at some point, but so far the only people I’ve spoken to are a doctor I’ve managed to pin down for a couple of minutes, and he just asked me questions which he could have found the answers to if he’d bothered to read Dad’s notes, and a nurse yesterday who said they are still trying to find the cause of his ‘confusion’ and waiting to see if he has a UTI and are giving antibiotics.
I said that if antibiotics were going to work, surely there would have been some improvement by now.
No answer!

He has been on 3 different wards since being admitted, and was going to have a Lumbar Puncture, but this was cancelled.

My question is: How do I get someone to talk to me? I don’t expect staff to drop everything just because I’m there, but it just seems like they don’t know what to with him/about him, and some decisions need to be made.

Thanks.

[RATTER15]

Bigbad, you show absolutely no respect for your ill Father!!

[Mamyalynne]

I hope you manage to get to talk to someone soon Bigbad about your Dad - you obviously care for him very much.

Let us know how things go.

[ummmm]

C'mon Ratter, she's not saying it to her father or in front of him.

[gness]

Goodness, Ratter....this isn't like you.....to be so sharp with someone who tells us he is the only person visiting so I guess the only person trying to get help and the best treatment he can for his father and you keep knocking him????
You're usually much more considerate.....

When folk ask me about my mum I'll say.....absolutely doolally now and when she speaks it's gibberish.....I could couch it more delicately....but it's just the same....I don't do it with disrespect.......and as Big says.....it's how my mother would describe it.....x

[Mamyalynne]

Bigbad is a lady.

[gness]

Oh heck...thought she said she was a he.....must lay off Dave's port........ ;-)

[Mamyalynne]

:-)

[gness]

Ratter......you may like to think twice about messing with a lady named Bigbad!!!!...... ;-)

[EcclesCake]

Ratter, get over yourself. As individuals we are liberty to describe our ailing psrents as we wish. It is not done, in most cases with disrespect, simply stating n everyday language how they are doing.

[pixie374]

To be fair, ratter had a valid point. I think he is still in Homecare- and a huge proportion of that includes protecting people from well-meaning relatives. You would be surprised what people think is fine because it's "their" relative. I would be more concerned if someone working with elderly people was not prepared to defend them.

[ummmm]

Except bigbad isn't saying it to her dad or in earshot of him.

[pixie374]

Lol. Saying it behind someone's back is better?? That isn't what ratter meant... he was referring to the attitude. I guess people working in Care can be just as swayed by experience as relatives can.

[gness]

Trust me, Pixie......my mother didn't need protecting from well meaning me or from my well meaning brother.....

[pixie374]

Not everyone, of course, but I can see what ratter is seeing. Anybody who thinks someone is talking drivel, is not listening properly.

[gness]

Pixie......my mother says words.......they make no sense ..... there is no order to her words.....they are the few words she can pluck out of the air......drivel is a fair description.....
But please don't tell me I haven't spent the last seven or more years listening properly to her.....talking to her and encouraging her......

[pixie374]

Is it drivel to her?

[EcclesCake]

Some precious snowflakes about this evening.

[pixie374]

There are.

[gness]

It's exactly as she would have described it had she been witnessing it in someone else.
I really don't like being told I have never listened properly to her, Pixie....

[pixie374]

We can say whatever we like about ourselves though. I have never found anybody not understandable, no matter how the speech comes out. It's such a small part of communication- and I'm sure you know that too.