Elderly Father In Hospital.

[Bigbad]

My 92 year old Dad has been in hospital for 2 weeks. Unfortunately, he’s completely lost the plot, hasn’t got a clue about anything, and now talks utter drivel. (Yesterday, he’d been to The Isle of Wight the night before, and my sister has just had a baby).

None of the staff are talking to me. (I’m his only visitor). Every time I go, I ask if someone could find the time to have a proper conversation with me at some point, but so far the only people I’ve spoken to are a doctor I’ve managed to pin down for a couple of minutes, and he just asked me questions which he could have found the answers to if he’d bothered to read Dad’s notes, and a nurse yesterday who said they are still trying to find the cause of his ‘confusion’ and waiting to see if he has a UTI and are giving antibiotics.
I said that if antibiotics were going to work, surely there would have been some improvement by now.
No answer!

He has been on 3 different wards since being admitted, and was going to have a Lumbar Puncture, but this was cancelled.

My question is: How do I get someone to talk to me? I don’t expect staff to drop everything just because I’m there, but it just seems like they don’t know what to with him/about him, and some decisions need to be made.

Thanks.

[andy-hughes]

Bigbad - to return to your OP -

My one constant motto in life is - Never upset someone whose co-operation you need.

I completely understand your frustration in your attempts to find some information about your dad's condition and treatment, but as has been advised, pleasant persistence is the way forward here - remember, you need their co-operation and answers, they don't need yours.

Human nature being what it is, staff will respond far better if you are calm and polite, rather than developing a reputation as a 'troublesome relative'.

If your enquiries at ward level are drawing a blank, ask if you can make an appointment to see the doctor in charge of your dad's care - always better than trying to collar a harassed doctor on the hoof.

Good luck x.

[Bigbad]

Why are people assuming I have been anything but polite and pleasant to the staff? And I’ve already tried to asking for someone to find some time to speak to me, telling them when I will next be in, and suggesting I could go in earlier than visiting times if necessary.
I honestly believe that nobody knows what to do with him, because they don’t know why he is the way he is, and I suspect they will take the easy option of suggesting he goes into a home, rather than investigating further. He'd hate that.

Good night all.

[Mamyalynne]

I think the thread grew legs of its own, am sure no one thought you'd been anything other than polite.

Difficult times for you - Night.x

[gness]

Bigbad....it's no reflection on you......I just think so many of us have had to deal with what you're now going through....know how bloody frustrating it is and how easy it is for the calmest of us to....well want to throttle someone....I know I did!

I hope you soon get some answers to help you with what you're doing for your dad.....Gx

[andy-hughes]

Bigbad - // Why are people assuming I have been anything but polite and pleasant to the staff? //

I can't speak for anyone else, but personally, I have made no assumptions of any kind about you, or how you have approached the situation.

I simply offered some advice based on similar experience - feel free to use it or ignore it.

[anneasquith]

Andy, I have no wish to have a discussion with you on this thread especially as the op is absent, but reading your post I can see bd's may have viewed your reply as a bit judgemental re talks ng to staff .

[andy-hughes]

anne - // Andy, I have no wish to have a discussion with you on this thread especially as the op is absent, but reading your post I can see bd's may have viewed your reply as a bit judgemental re talks ng to staff . //

The OP's opinion of my post is for her to respond to if she so wishes, and if you don't wish to discuss my post, I shall feel free to ignore yours,

[anneasquith]

Excellent .