Reality

[nailit]

Think that I'm loosing touch with reality.
How do I know that even AB exists outside my mind? Or this post?
Everything now feels like a dream. Ive stopped eating because I cant see the point. I feel blocked at every turn when I try to access medical attention, its all a bad dream.

[237SJ]

Have you felt like this before or is this a new feeling?

[nailit]

*** it I wake up in the morning feeling terrified!

[Tilly2]

Somehow you need to get a grip...don't know how though.

[yogi-bear]

If you feel this way....again and again.....you need to call someone and talk to them about what exactly you're feeling..you go round in circles and maybe, due to the affect of alcohol, you come on here and tell us you feel like ending it...and we advise you...I know and appreciate you need to rant and talk to someone like us to get it off your mind, but..please, please get help and now ....pixie has given you a really helpful group and telephone numbers.....barring that you could always try The Samaritans....they'll listen and give you probably what you can't get here.....a voice to talk too. As always, I send you my best wishes, nailit.... you're a good, decent, and above all, genuinely nice fella....never forget that.

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

[nailit]

237, yes ive been here b4 with this kind of thing. Remember having it as a kid, it was horrible, trying to function as though everything was normal...school etc.

[237SJ]

So you may not be able to change the way you feel but maybe you can change how you deal with the feelings and the first thing to do is to eat something.

[pixie374]

All of it.... the not wanting to eat, the wanting alcohol, the anxiety... are all symptoms of the depression. That needs treating asap. They seem to have given up and left you to it. Ring someone please xx

[nailit]

yogi, thank you for the sentiments, appreciate it.
But as regards the phone numbers, it doesn't help me. (I'd have to make another post to explain why)
Suffice to say that the local mental health line have actually put the phone down on me, merely because I admitted to having had a couple of cans of lager.

[nailit]

Pix, I'm going around in circles, and not for the first time.
Saw my GP last week who told me that I need to get in touch with my local mental health clinic that I was under. Rang them to be told that my care co-ordinater had left (without informing me). Eventually got to see someone only to be told that I need to see my GP!!!

Around the mulberry bush we go...and none of this is real. Its all a bloody dream. A recurring dream...

[jourdain2]

And then you tell us, on another post, not to worry about your depressive moods! Of course we worry about you, nailit, we probably understand you better than the people you meet in 'real life'. We all appreciate you and your good qualities.

We are also real, believe me, just you can't see and touch us. 'Existentialism' sort of expresses your current idea, but that is a philosophy - you have a problem. We want to help you, but you must act on advice.

Lack of food can lead to mental dissociation with reality. sp(numbers) came up with a good idea in saying drink water with sugar in it to get a start. There is (or was) something called 'Dioralyte' which you can buy at the chemists, it's a sachet of crystals to dissolve in water and it supplies all essential minerals - it's used for convalescents.

You've posted whilst I am writing, I'll read it and see if that helps me to say anything useful. :) x

[nailit]

None of this is real....
is it????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

[pixie374]

Nailit, as far as I know... you have only been diagnosed with depression (I don't mean "only " in that way...). A GP can treat that- you don't need to be sent anywhere else- but you do need one that understands it.
I saw six... until a female doctor at the surgery happened to read my notes and called me in at a baby weighing clinic. The ones that get it are few and far between and you will have to fight for yourself
You need to see a different one this time who has a bit of commitment about it xx

[douglas9401]

Nope.

[nailit]

A *** recurring nightmare....
over and over and over and over and over and over

[pixie374]

Remember how much better you got on the antidepressants and how quickly? They just need to try a different type- or leave it long enough for the side effects to wear off. It's so frustrating, because this really is something that can be really effectively helped.

[jourdain2]

Then you must wake up and put the dream to flight. I know it's easier said than done and you seem to have been let down by the NHS. Try some of the numbers that you've been given and haven't tried.

There should be a drop-in centre at your local hospital, you could go there, if you have not drunk too much, come to think of it, even if you have. There's the Sally Army as well (no, no-one will lecture you) and other organisations which you may not have thought of and which will simply accept you as you are and try to help.

It is dangerous to lose touch with reality as much as you are doing at the moment. Please make a small move to help yourself. Life can change, if you are willing to go with it.

Apologies 237SJ, I'm lousy at numbers, misremembered your AB name.

[nailit]

//Nailit, as far as I know... you have only been diagnosed with depression//
In the past have always been 'diagnosed' with different things.
BPD, depression, social phobia, anxiety disorder, alcoholic, etc.
Labels mean nothing to me.
At the mo just feel as though nothing is real, not even me typing this, and no point anymore in trying to access 'help' as its all loaded against me anyway, going on past experiences,

[wolf63]

Nailit, the only thing that I can add is that if I don't eat and don't sleep I become psychotic.

The dilemma of reality being real or not is, sometimes, a problem for me too. The real world is not always a nice place to live.

Good Luck xx

[nailit]

I'm just dissolving away, its not a nice feeling...