Jokes0 min ago
Wicker Basket
My partner gave me a wicker basket full of cold meats, sandwiches, fruit cake and crockery and told me to take it to the car. I couldn’t do it, I was hampered.
Went to visit my Gran the other day and saw a box of Persil on top of her TV. I said “Gran, what are you doing with that?” Turns out she had no Ariel.
Network Rail have put out a CD of their greatest journeys. I’ve never heard so many tracks.
Trampoline required urgently, any condition, shape or size to replace mine that has been stolen. Please deliver and place it under me before I start to fall.
Girls didn’t seem that impressed when I told them I work at a fishery, guiding anglers towards the best places to fish. So now I just tell them I’m a casting director.
Just been sat watching TV and there is absolutely nothing on at all. I really should turn it on.
Some idiot knocked over my recycle bin today. Now there are icons all over my desktop.
I have just started a sewing machine choir, I have got a great bunch of singers.
I went to the doctor and said, “I’m sick and tired of finishing crosswords so quickly.” He said, “Try not to get two down sir.”
I have just seen a sign in Specsavers, ‘70% off Frames.’ Surely the lenses would fall out.
Went to visit my Gran the other day and saw a box of Persil on top of her TV. I said “Gran, what are you doing with that?” Turns out she had no Ariel.
Network Rail have put out a CD of their greatest journeys. I’ve never heard so many tracks.
Trampoline required urgently, any condition, shape or size to replace mine that has been stolen. Please deliver and place it under me before I start to fall.
Girls didn’t seem that impressed when I told them I work at a fishery, guiding anglers towards the best places to fish. So now I just tell them I’m a casting director.
Just been sat watching TV and there is absolutely nothing on at all. I really should turn it on.
Some idiot knocked over my recycle bin today. Now there are icons all over my desktop.
I have just started a sewing machine choir, I have got a great bunch of singers.
I went to the doctor and said, “I’m sick and tired of finishing crosswords so quickly.” He said, “Try not to get two down sir.”
I have just seen a sign in Specsavers, ‘70% off Frames.’ Surely the lenses would fall out.
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