Is Being A Top In A Bdsm Relationship Really About Empowerment?

[rowanwitch]

Just thinking about this, a friend used to say she liked being dominant as she was able to work through a lot of bad stuff from her life She wouldn't switch roles because of early abuse but did say she enjoyed the responsibility for her partner. He used to say it was all about freedom, when you are completely disempowered in a safe space it is the nearest thing to total freedom. For me it was just a bit of a laugh between consenting adults. What do others think

[Mamyalynne]

Is the post mortem on this thread going to be as long as the original topic was ?

I ask myself.

[Mamyalynne]

It's not been killed, simply having a lie down.

[Mamyalynne]

Don't tempt me.

[Kromovaracun]

Ready to go again are we, spath?

[AuntLydia]

Since when has 'off putting' been immature and defamatory? Are you saying that anyone who finds discussing personal sexual tastes 'off putting' is immature?
How judgemental! ;-)

[Kromovaracun]

//Are you saying that anyone who finds discussing personal sexual tastes 'off putting' is immature?//

Well no, but barging into a thread where people are doing so harmlessly purely to announce one's own disgust is... a bit self-centered and yes immature.

[jno]

Kromovaracun, yes, I get all that. But a website can moderate its content as it pleases; some do it with pre-moderation, but that's hardly an option here. AB has a spasmodic system of Eds and mods who can enforce its rules by removing posts and posters; they back it up by asking posters to stick to the Site Rules. I think that's all legit. And as I said, I don't think any rules have been broken here (though I didn't see the deleted posts). It's a sensible adult conversation but not conducted in terms that might frighten the horses.

I miss interpenetrated

Language, spath!

[jim360]

My own feeling with respect to Kval's "repressed" comment was that it was a mocking and sarcastic response to, and rebuttal of, the previous, equally blunt, post of "sad, sad, sad". I certainly agree that not personally enjoying, or wanting to ever try, BDSM-related sex is hardly a cause for mockery, any more than wanting to should be. But casting judgement on someone else's sex life is to invite criticism of one's own in kind.

[AuntLydia]

Spath yes I agree totally, calling people names is immature whether it be 'pervert' or 'Prude'.

I think a lot of the name calling started as a result of people posting their erotic preferences to the site rather than keeping it to themselves. However, no one has to read anything they don't think they can cope with. I personally only read a third of the BA as I found it a tad TMI.

[jno]

yes, Kvalidir was clearly responding in kind, and no more mocking than the original post. Just a case of dishing it out/taking it.

[SparklyKid]

Did not end well for Michael hutchens.

[Prudie]

Rowan asked 'what do others think'. An opinion that goes against the grain is therefore not barging in with disgust. I think part of the reason why this thread has gone nasty is because people have described what they get up to personally and anyone who can't understand why some would find that icky are themselves immature. It's a valid subject matter but needs to be handled sensitively. If the poster was a newbie and some of the others who have contributed weren't who they are the whole thread would have been pulled IMO.