Is Being A Top In A Bdsm Relationship Really About Empowerment?

[rowanwitch]

Just thinking about this, a friend used to say she liked being dominant as she was able to work through a lot of bad stuff from her life She wouldn't switch roles because of early abuse but did say she enjoyed the responsibility for her partner. He used to say it was all about freedom, when you are completely disempowered in a safe space it is the nearest thing to total freedom. For me it was just a bit of a laugh between consenting adults. What do others think

[Kromovaracun]

Body and Soul is exactly the place for conversations about sex. I don't understand why people are suddenly insisting ot isn't.

[Kromovaracun]

I don't personally see why it's on everyone else to monitor themselves just in case some kids might wander in. But even so I agree - nothing here meets any reasonable definition of "explicit".

[anneasquith]

Old Site Rules?, Are there new ones ?

[jno]

Kromovaracun, yes, that is the deal: it's a family website (in theory anyway) so self-censorship is requested: Eds and mods can't be everywhere.

I can't say I've seen anything censorable on this thread; kids might learn something about tolerance and intolerance, but it's all pretty inexplicit.

[Old_Geezer]

How do you turn a phrase ?

[jim360]

Although this notice is posted in law, it clearly can be applied across-the-board:

"Please refrain from being rude, abusive or judgemental - members come here for advice, not judgement! Members who offer only moral judgement will be suspended."

Whilst I'm sure there won't be any suspensions here, maybe those who have only offered moral judgement in this thread should be a little more mindful of the guidelines of AB usage in future.

[gness]

And I don't see why, Krom there are folk on here who think that if we don't behave in the same way as them we are not normal or as Cornetto puts it....are perverts.
It could have been an interesting thread but for their immature input.

BagPussAA....your contribution was interesting and informative...... a shame it was just followed by bickering....it certainly told me something I wasn't aware of and provided a different way of looking at the subject...thank you.x

[Kromovaracun]

//it's a family website//

The internet is the internet. I don't think that phrase means anything.

[andres]

Kvalidir is not a child. For goodness sake she must be about twenty. She's a woman. This thread is pathetic. Abers falling over themselves to divulge their secret sexual fantasies . Why on earth some of you want to reveal so much about yourselves I can't imagine.
As for the topic being discussed how anyone can find sexual torture exciting is beyond me but there again 'each to his own'.There have been numerous deaths happening to people indulging in this weird practice.

[Kromovaracun]

Auto-erotic asphyxiation is not the same thing as BDSM.

[Kromovaracun]

Also the OP asked an interesting question about the topic of BDSM. I am very confused as to why so many other ABers have felt the need to knowingly read a (long) thread about BDSM aimed at people who practise it and then furiously bash out replies about how disgusted they are. I agree with Kval, at the moment this site feels like quite a sour and noxious place to hang around.

[jno]

it means they hope to attract younger users, Kromovaracun (though those who do turn up usually get jeered at for asking homework questions), so they invite adults to moderate themselves. It's not a pay site so they can't afford people to pre-moderate everything before it's posted. I think that's a reasonable ambition for a free site; just because there's a lot of rubbish elsewhere on the internet doesn't mean AB has to be the same.

[AuntLydia]

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and to voice it. It only becomes 'judgemental' when the reader does not agree with that opinion!
One of the main posters on this thread, complaining about judgmental remarks actually told another poster, with a different view on BDSM that they were 'repressed'. Is that not also judgemental?
Judgemental is accusing someone personally of being weird or depraved because they do something. Voicing an opinion that you find the whole idea of BDSM weird and depraved is a personal opinion.

[jno]

spath, that was part of a conversation with Kromovaracun. He was saying, in effect, you can't regulate the internet, I was saying individual websites can try to make their own rules. That's all: I've got no objection to this thread.

[Kromovaracun]

jno

I find that very confusing. If a person has access to a web browser and is capable of using it unsupervised, then even with pre-set parental filters they are exposed to vast amounts of age-inappropriate material. Even within Answerbank, News is full of 'mature' content which people are far, far less squeamish about than the friendly and nuanced discussion of sex on the earlier pages of this thread.

Then there's the supposition that keeping everything U-rated (it isn't, but let's say it is for the sake of argument) will attract younger people to use the site. Young people will use the site if it has content that interests them. I'm not sure how 'safety' comes into it.

I mean the rules are the rules. I get that, and I try to follow them like everyone else. I just think it's a dumb rule.