How Life Can Change Over Time

[Baldric]

Regulars will know that over the last 12 months or so Mrs B. has had Health problems.
We met in late 1984 married in 1987, never looked back.
In July last year Mrs B, Kate, had a 'Blackout' was taken into A&E due to Tachycardia and a certain amount of confusion, was there for 3 days, but no diagnosis.
This happened twice more in next 2 months, during the second of those episodes she 'fitted' while waiting for the Ambulance and again in the Ambulance Bay at the Hospital.
Another 3-4 days inpatient care, this time a tentative "It could be Late Onset Epilepsy"
About 3 weeks later one evening she stood up to go to bed, then bent down to pick her blanket up off the floor, before I could stop her she bent forwards, overbalanced, banged her head on coffee table and off to A&E again for 4 days this time. There was no blanket to be picked up only in her mind.
When we visited she wanted to know why we were covered in orange spots and could we please stop those two horrible men shouting, it was an all Female Ward, no men except well behaved visitors.
During those 4 days we received some very strange 'phone calls from her saying she was at a Hotel in Norwich, or she was on a Flight to Belgium, and also some quite rational ones talking about Family, Dogs etc.
She has been Episode free since last October, which is good, however her balance is very shakey, she cannot walk very well, suffers short term memory loss, gets the shakes a lot and is dilusional at times.
Is having lots of Tests, Examinations etc.
Obviously has surrendered her Driving Licience.
I have spent the last 13 months basically looking after a Woman I no longer know, she has changed so much, does not alter what I feel for her but it is bloody hard work, we just get on with it, and do what has to be done.
I have not written this because I feel sorry for myself because I don't, I'm not that sort of person.
I guess if there's anything I want to say it is 'Just cherish what you have 'cause you never know what's around the next corner

[kvalidir]

So sorry to hear this Baldric it must be awful, but your thread is both sad and uplifting. This is what real relationships should be about, being there for each other no matter what. I d hope you get a definitive diagnosis soon and that something can be done to help her. xxx

[Baldric]

Thanks Kvalidir.

[pastafreak]

I have to admit...this had me close to tears. Partly because you, Baldric, do not usually let us see this part of your life and temperament. All I can do is wish you and Kate as much strength as is needed to get through such difficult times...I know love is there. I do hope a firm diagnosis is found. x

[Baldric]

Pasta, Thank you, think I needed to get it off my chest, we have a little team going, see 12:58 on previous page, it works well.

[Butterbun]

All I can say Baldric, is it can't be easy. I hope a diagnosis is made soon and she will be on a better path to recovery. My best wishes to you both for a happy outcome.x

[hellywelly4]

Sending a big hug Balders. I remember last year you talking about your wife's 'problems' but thought she had recovered. It must be so worrying that you still haven't got a diagnosis. Thinking of you (and your lovely friends) and sending love xxx

[Baldric]

Butterbun and Hellywelly, . Thank you both.

Going out soon with Kate to do weekly shop, will look in in a couple of hours or so.

[DTCwordfan]

Getting the diagnosis will help enormously - like my daughter has made it to the Lyme's specialists in Leeds and their testing and thoroughness has been impressive - they now believe its very aggressive IBS and today its an ultra-scan, and they have lined up with cardio, lungs and dermatology in wanting to understand what's going on and how extensive it is - this is coming up to the year but slowly we are getting there! We all think that diagnosis is instant - but our examples prove just how long a process it can be and patience is needed in major dollops - and how frustrating it can all be, not least for the patient.

In my daughter's case the early good news is that, at least, IBS can be controlled/cured - unlike Lyme's...

I know the joys of caring as well, what with the big A here....however, it's give and take as she did have you to look after too not that long ago - you two have been lucky in having a friend like Tash on site..... Good luck going forward though.

[albaqwerty]

I wish you and Mrs B all the best and hope for a swift diagnosis for her.

It's not easy but I am glad you have good 'respite' care with Tash and another who know her and you.

Take care of yourself Balders xx

[wolf63]

I'm glad that you felt able to post this Baldric, it is always good to 'talk' about things.

Best wishes to all of you x

[hereIam]

We never know what's around the corner do we Baldric or what's going to come with age? It can and often is, very scary. I have lost both my beloved parents fairly recently and Dad suffered briefly from dementia before we lost him which made him very sweet and loving. Mum, before she died kept seeing dogs in her hospital room and said they were still there when I went over to 'look at them', bless her. This was just the tip of the iceberg with my Mum and Dad, all very, very painful to me. I only have one sibling and he wasn't much help. I'm glad you have a lot of back up and people around you and I hope this helps you. Yes, cherish what we have because all too soon, it's changed, or gone. All the best to you and Kate xx

[Baldric]

DTC, Alba, Wolf and HereIam,
Apologies for not replying sooner, just back from doing the weekly shop with Kate, went ok.
Thank you for the support Guys it really is much appreciated.

[roopower]

I'm so sorry to hear about your Kate. At least it seems you have help and support which is a great thing. You're so right when you said we should cherish what we have, we never know what life is going to throw at us or our loved ones. I hope that a diagnosis will soon be made and there will be some respite. I suppose they have checked for a urinary tract infection because that wouldn't be helping. Take care and accept all the support that comes your way.

[dunnitall]

So sorry to hear of what is going on in your life Baldric and the worry it is very obviously causing, you must be going through hell and poor Kate even more though it seems without understanding which is probably a blessing for her.

All I can offer you is support and understanding and one thing that may not seem apparent! Only through my experience and knowing that the medical profession as a whole do not put much store in basics like deficiencies.

Please ask what her vitamin D is in figures and look up the range, and more importantly her Vitamin B 12 which is vital to normal functioning especially neurological type. May sound silly to most but the medics really aren't understanding of the vital components of these things.

Once you get the figures even if they aren't below the range you can dismiss these being a contributory fCtor in her condition. I am only giving you the benefit of what has happened to my OH and who is worsening because medics will not help him.

I wish you and Kate well....and hope for the solution to be found and she helped ASAP. Sending gentle hugs, take care. Xx

[Baldric]

Roopower and Dunnitall,
Tash came home while I was typing last reply and offered to take Kate to a 17:00 Docs appointment, so I took the chance to take the dogs out for an hour or so. Sitting here with a cold Tinnie now.
Kate is being well treated by the Medics, levels for everything being checked and Meds being adjusted as and when, next Neuro. appointment soon and hopefully some answers.
Thank you both for the good wishes.

[-SharonA-]

Hi Baldric, this all bought a tear to my eyes.
You're right, 'Just cherish what you have 'cause you never know what's around the next corner'
Hope all goes well in both your futures.

[Baldric]

Sharon, appreciated, Thank you.

[marval]

I am sorry to hear this Baldric, you obviously have a very strong relationship. I hope putting it down helped. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Kate at this difficult time. I hope you get a good diagnosis soon. xx

[nailit]

Baldric,
Not always eye to eye, but all the best m8...
Stay strong!

[fbg40]

Hi Baldric
Really can't imagine what you are and have been going through the past 13 months. No words I put on hear will ease your pain but just to say, stay strong, chin up and know that we are all thinking of you.
FBG40