How To Cope?

[TonyV]

My wifes just got home after a prolonged illnes at hospital. I am trying to get her mobile, but she is trying my nerves, I dont want to shout or do anything to upset her, but she needs to get mobile. Any Ideas?

[murraymints]

how did you get on Tony ?

[TonyV]

hi Murray stamped my feet and got home visit. Doc was just iike ambulance crew ~ our local doctors sub it out. but he prescribed Flucloxacllin 500mg 4 times a day. first tablet taken

[murraymints]

did you ask about home call in care ?

[TonyV]

asked but they seem to think that because I can care for her, If I need help then ring 999

[woofgang]

Tony, have you spoken to social services about care? its not usually provided by GP's Could you say which county you live in as this would help to pinpoint how to get help.

[murraymints]

as woofy says.social services dept is the way to go for call in care..OT for any adaptations or equipment you may need.. do not soldier on and make yourself ill...

[murraymints]

your GP is not being very helpful...most would offer to make a referral to the social services and other external agencies that can help...

[mallyh]

sorry to hear this Tony are there any family members who could at least give you a break from things by been with Jen x

[anneasquith]

Tonyv, it's very obvious you and Mrs Tony require assistance, not wishing to talk on anyone's behalf but Wolfgang has experience in your situation and is think could be very helpful .best wishes to you both .

[TonyV]

but because they realise that I wont take any *** they are dealing with us in totally different manner.

[Peter Pedant]

Good to have her home
and yes being a carer is cut out for some and not others
try to be patient

[woofgang]

TonyV I get that you are feeling really furious....can I suggest that if you can, you save it for the people who have failed you and try to stay calm with the people who you may be meeting who have never met you or been involved? Being professionals, it should make no difference but some/most of them will be concerned and hardworking people who are trying to do their best.
Not only did I work in community rehab in the NHS, I cared for my dying husband at home and liased with his various hospitals and care staff. I was referred to as "Xxxx's forthright wife" and was known for my straight talking but I made a real effort to keep my acerbity for those who warranted it.

Anyway, how have you got on today? Have you spoken to Social Services?

[BANANASPLITS]

I can't help you tonyv but I hope it all turns out well for the both of you ...stay strong

[TonyV]

Both her Daughter and son have young families and jobs so they are unable but not unwilling to heip.

[TonyV]

Woofgang its just a bit more frustrating that my wife dedicated over 35 years of her working life working for the NHS,which in some way ruined her back before H and S rules were even invented.

[TonyV]

woofgang I am more than able to hold my temper and venom, to direct it to the quarters it needs directing at. There is no way I could or would dispute the brilliant and life saving treatment she has been given.

[woofgang]

TonyV, my back is iffy from a similar cause. Have you managed to speak to Social Services yet?

[DTCwordfan]

strikes me as an outsider, you need support to defining what she can do in the short term, medium term and beyond that, what needs to be done, the targets and how/what support she needs....

as to mobility, is she capable of moving - if yes, then what sort of targets on a daily/weekly/monthly basis....and again what does she need/and who....

[TonyV]

DTC am thinking of putting together a strategy / achievement plan not necessarily for Jens benefit but will help us see whats happened day to day and week to week.

[TonyV]

woofgang its in the "system"