Sqad

[nailit]

I see ur about...just want to pick ur brains for a min if I may re: my mums cancer!
Had radio in her left arm, now has pain in her right arm as well. Complaining of severe back ache as well.
We know that cancer has spread in to skull and ribs but no pain there as yet.
Could cancer be in back/spine?
At mo all cancer seems to be in left side of body but pain in right arm is of concern.

TIA for any advice
(terminal bone cancer as you know)
Thanks

[nailit]

Guess so Calico, Been on meds myself which have bunged me up. Just seems a bit odd that McMillan nurses are so preoccupied with constipation with a terminal patient.
Would be the last thing on my mind come my time!

[-SharonA-]

My Mum hated her Macmillan nurse. She was so bloody nosey and mum got fed up with her questions which were not cancer related.

[nailit]

//There are also signs they look for, that the body in general isn't using the food properly/ shutting down. They have their reasons xx //
Yep, that make a bit more sense now that you mention it pix.
There were a lot of questions about exactly how much was she eating and what was she eating etc.

[nailit]

//My Mum hated her Macmillan nurse. She was so bloody nosey and mum got fed up with her questions which were not cancer related//
Little bit of that here Sharon with my mum....

[Tilly2]

Nails, they know what they are doing. They have done it before, you haven't. Trust them to keep your Mum comfortable.

[237SJ]

The reason they ask about the bowels is because that could be a sign of lower body paralysis caused by the cancer spreading to the spine.

[Peter Pedant]

sorry you are going thro this...

[vetuste_ennemi]

//sorry you are going thro this...//

...seems about the only positive thing to say at the moment, Nailit.

You might cut the nurses more slack: advanced cancer inflicts increasing pains and humiliations on its victims and some of the carers will know that. I have a specific case in mind with my first wife. And I keep that memory where it ought to be.

The good news for her was that the palliative care led to a peaceful death (as far as you can judge these things) in the presence of one of her sisters,her brother and me.

I wish such a peaceful end for your mother, Nailit.

[Mamyalynne]

So hard to bear, peace and love to you all ♥

[marval]

So sorry to hear all this Nailit. my thoughts and prayers are with you all.

[Lie-in King]

My continued best wishes to you all, it's a very difficult time.

[tinkerbell23]

Hug from me!

237sj is right- bowels really are important.

Untill you have seen someone impacted it really isnt nice & the type of meds Mama Nailit is on will most certainly cause consipation.

That leads to painfull symptoms as well as nausea or worse with bowels rupturing etc- prevention is better but i understand how trivial it seems!

Anyway im always there if you need any advice, be that nursey or just as a friendly ear!

Lots of love xx

[Smowball]

God this is all so so close to home. My mum had an amazing nurse look after her when she refused to stay in the hospice and demanded to go home. She was only 59 when she died. Miss her every second of every day. My thoughts and hugs are with you nailit xx

[calmck]

Sorry to hear all this but please listen to the answers. Severe constipation or bowel obstruction is not what your mum needs. Neither is urine infection. The questions must be asked and answered to help your mum. They need to know if she is eating and drinking enough. Trust them. They are there to help your mum and relieve you so that you can have meaningful time with her to remember the good times and try to forget the bad.
My thoughts and prayers are with you both

[hereIam]

Thinking of you nailit at this very, very hard time xx

[nailit]

Thanks all for additional replies, didn't get back to reply last night as I had to hit the hay.
I understand a bit more about the 'opening the bowels' thing now so thanks again. And apologies if I come across as a bit ungrateful towards those that are caring for her, don't mean to be, just a bit frustrated at times and I don't really have anyone to sound off to.
Appreciated all of ur replies, cheers.

[237SJ]

You're not ungrateful. The woman from the hospice who was supposed to be keeping an eye on my Mum was bloody useless. It's normal to be angry in such situations.

[nailit]

Thank you 237,
Glad its not just me...

[rowanwitch]

Sending my thoughts and good wishes too, I know how hard it can be and how helpless you can feel. I was a nurse and still didnt have the knowledge and skills to help Dave with everything he needed. Birmingham doesnt have community MacMillan nurses but we had help from the ordinary District nurses who were brilliant

[nailit]

Cheers Rowan, appreciate it.