Body image

[Cymbeline]

On reading my copy of Heat last week, my boyfriend exclaimed with horror "I simply cannot believe that a woman could let herself get over 10 stone - that is morbidly obese". My size 12, definitely over 10 stone frame sat in stupefied silence. Comments please.

[boobesque]

er your boyfriend is an idiot!

i would love to weigh what you do, i am not even considered morbidly obese and i am quite a lot over 10st, i think he was very insensitive

[crumpeter]

We are all different shapes and sizes, It sounds like your boyfriend has been seduced by the image machine that is, television and magazines.
There is no perfect size or weight! Dont make yourself unhappy by trying to be something he wants you to be.

[Jackson74]

Presuming you are not 2ft tall, your fella is wrong and a bit dramatic, as anyone who is classed as "morbidly obese", is in need of an operation as their weight could be life threatening.

Tell him any weight gain is due to stress from his juvenile outbursts!!!

[Drusilla]

Tell your boyfriend he has succumbed to fashion industry propaganda and needs to open his eyes to the beauty of women and their curves, be they a size 10, 12 14 or upwards. It's a good job women don't make the same judgements, as there would be a lot of lonely men.

[boobesque]

wouldnt they just drusilla, it amazes me how men can be so critical of women and yet they think nothing of walking around with there beer guts hanging over their trousers!

[Scarlett]

I RELISH the day your boyfriend finds himself NOT able to eat what he likes, when he likes. As he gets older he will get prone to weight gain, like it or not. Most of us struggle ona daily basis with our weight. It is not a matter of letting oneself get over 10 stone- some of us were 10 stone at 12 years old, and your body fights to be a certain weight- what is natural for it!

I would like to see your boyfriend eat what I have to eat to lose weight. He would have to spend every day feeling hungry. He would have to ignore hunger pangs and have tea instead of food. THEN at meal times he would have to have no carbs, so he would be starving again. YES, it's miserable! And THAT is the price you pay for trying to lose weight. It is against our human instincts to NOT eat whe hungry, but that is what we have to do.

If I eat when I am hungry I gain weight very very fast. He is lucky to not have a weight problem. Does he think that women LIKE being overweight!!?

[maximo]

hi there ! I don't think your boyfriend was being insensitive to you, in the sense that he probably doesn't have a clue how weight relates to shape, just like most men ! Most men I've met would be absolutely gobsmacked if they knew how much I weigh ! lol

It's all a matter of proportions, and two persons weighing the same will look completely different. An ex of mine made the same remark in the pub, to which I asked him how much he thought I weighed. You wouldn't believe by how far he was wrong ! lol I also shut him up by suggesting that if I were smaller , so would EVERY part of my body, boobs included. That closed the matter, believe me ! ;-)

[LATECOMER]

Tell your boyfriend, you can't believe that all men have shorter members than 9 inches!! That should stop his idiotic remarks.

[LATECOMER]

Sorry the above message should read "any" instead of "all men"

[hollie1586]

your boyfriend is totally wrong!!!! i would kill to weigh 10 stone. how much does he weigh? does he tell you that???

[gucciman]

how many of you women who say that her boyfriend should love a woman no matter what size they are and that he shouldn't be judgemental are genuinely happy being overweight and do not secretly wish they were their ideal weight for their height?

[Gef]

Sorry to but in ladies but I agree with all of you. You are what you are (fat, plump, skinny etc.) but for me personality is far more important.

[mimififi]

I think, as has already been suggested, that men seem to be incapable of pinning weight to size or rather, more importantly, shape. I think men are far more interested in shape than either of the above. I have the opposite problem, my OH is always telling me that he hates skinny women, that women should be curvaceous and healthy, and he can't believe that women would allow themselves to be under 9 stone unless they were 4foot nothing. I obviously sit there wondering what blunt object would be nearest to hit him with. But, he has never actually told me that I am unnattractive to him, indeed, 5 children later, one would assume the opposite. He has no idea how much I weigh, and even less idea what size I am! When he went to America, he had to ask me for exact measurements so that he could get me some stuff, but then didn't seem to realise that the actual measurements conflicted with what he thought about women's shapes.....men are just weirdos, with weird brains and weird thoughts (sorry to all y ou men, I love you all to absolute pieces, but you are weirdos. -in a good way, it would be boring if we were all the same. :-))

I was about to say the same thing also re the 9inches, but was beaten to it....Say it and tell me what his face was like......hehehehehe.

You're gorgeous, don't let anyone tell you different. Snaps for Cymbeline

(Cool Name btw, I love that play!)

[Golem]

In health care, the term 'morbidly obese' is generally defined as, "... patients who are 50 - 100% -- or 100 pounds above -- their ideal body weight. Alternatively, a BMI (body mass index) value greater than 39 may be used to diagnose morbid obesity."

While your boyfriend is taking a purely subjective stance, doctors have to be a little more scientific and a person's BMI is a key factor. It uses the individuals height and weight as determinates.

Google 'body mass index' and numerous sites will calculate it for you. Alternatively;

Multiply your weight in pounds by 703.
Divide that answer by your height in inches.
Divide that answer by your height in inches again.

For example, a woman who weighs 270 pounds and is 68 inches tall has a BMI of 41.0.

Now check where you are on the following chart;

Below 18.5 Underweight
18.5 - 24.9 Healthy
25.0 - 29.9 Overweight
30.0 - 39.9 Obese
Over 40 Morbidly Obese

BMI should not be used by children, the elderly and body builders as guidelines for whether they need to lose weight. These people should speak to their doctor.

[Golem]

BBC Health has more information here;

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/healthy_living/your_weight/bmiimperial_index.shtml

[Hermia]

When you consider that a lot of female celebrities usually claim to be between 7 - 8 1/2 stone (despite the fact that most of them are tall) makes 10 stone sound huge. I read an article by some doctor where he analysed female celebrities and announced that most of 'them were underweight, but we get so used to seeing them that any size 12 celebrity looks enormous in comparison. I briefly worked on a magazine and some of the models looked seriously ill in the flesh, but looked normal next to all the other models and celebrities in the magazine.

I think womens' figures vary so much that weight is meaningless. I have a Thai friend who is absolutely tiny and probably weighs about 3 ounces! She looks absolutely fine and in proportion. I have another friend who weighs quite a lot, but also looks absolutely right because she is very tall with broad shoulders.

I don't understand why a man would be so interested in what a woman weighs. I have absolutely no interest in what a man weighs as long as he looks a comfortable weight for his frame.

[Octavius]

Your boyfriend hasn't been out with many girls then..?

[{Dakota}]

I'm sorry to say Cymbeline, but it's guys like your boyfriend who has made me absolutely hate myself. I have absokutely no idea how much I weigh, but at 5'1 and around a size 12 I'm guessing I'm around the 10 stone mark. I feel like the biggest blob on earth.

It's not ENTIRELY your boyfriends fault though, he buys mags that show all these women who are "perfect" so he has this image of the "ideal woman" in his head and anything else is not good.

Did you tell him that you are over 10 stone??

[funnywebsite]

It depends on your height. Obviously 10 stone would be obese for a 5 ft person but the taller you are the more weight you can hold. Take no notice of his comments, he doesn't know how much everbody weighs.

[Cymbeline]

Thanks guys (mostly gals) for all your comments and support. I WISH I'd thought of the 9 inch comment as believe me, he would not have come close. Since the guy also told me on our first night in bed together that he thought I might be "too wide for him" (can you believe it?!?) I think he might actually be the one with the body image problems, not me and maybe he thinks that making me feel small (or large as the case may be) will mask his inadequacies.