I have bipolar disorder and I saw an Instagram in which someone stated that one of their loved ones has died and there two things that triggered me to feel depressed and suicidal. One of them were the part about its not fair and also the ending about we aren't guaranteed anything. Those two things told me that I need to commit suicide while depressed before I end up surprisingly dying and or learn bad news from either on tv or on social media and or being given any reasons to commit suicide while I'm alive and happy and positively thinking. I can't permanently eliminate and avoid bipolar disorder and depression so therefore I'm going to figure out the most effective way to commit suicide. I don't want uncertainty 24/7 and even the possibility of learning real but bad news. I know others feel the same and suffer from what I suffer from and I'm saying this so that I don't be mistaken as self-centered. If everyone in the world is individually told that others feel the same and suffer from what they suffer from them that means no matters. I can't survive because if I avoid watching and hearing about the news then I'm missing reality but if I do then I'm likely to learn real but bad news that signals me to commit suicide immediately or live and be unconsciously happy and then surprisingly die and or be given any reasons to commit suicide due bad news from any source such as tv or social media. I'm in a lose lose situation that I can only escape by committing suicide now. I just want to know if there are any alternatives to suicide and if so then what are they?
A Canary says, you need to seek professional help.
Your first stop ought to be your GP; or call and speak to the Samaritans who can advise of organisations which will be used to dealing with feelings such as you are experiencing.