Can A Single Elderly Person

[Redhelen72]

Who is willing to pay for it take themselves off to respite?
I am struggling to see the point!
Do they get assessed for future needs etc at respite?

[choux]

Dare I ask - respite from what?

[Redhelen72]

MIL has asked son No1 to arrange respite for her!!
She lives alone and I don’t know what she hopes to gain from this other than being 2 grand out of pocket

[choux]

Could it be she is attention seeking, thinking he wouldn't book her in?

[MissTerious]

It's quite common Red. No they don't get assessed for future needs. They go for a rest, for company and often for meals. Mostly they are people who live alone and have health issues and prefer respite to carers coming in to help.

[MissTerious]

One lady I knew loved her respite weeks . To her they were a holiday because she could just relax and be waited on. I can understand it.

[Redhelen72]

Ok thanks
Oh yes definitely attention seeking found out tonight that she was taken to A&E the day we went on holiday tried to get her friends to ring us but they refused as they knew about the holiday so rang his brother instead

[choux]

Ah. Thank goodness her friends were savvy to that then.
I cannot add anything I am afraid x

[anneasquith]

She’s single on her own. Poor health ? I don’t see any problem in her using her cash to have a change of scenery, a bit of kindness, meet new people .

[calmck]

From your previous posts re MIL go with it but she could use this to exaggerate her needs in the hope that your OH will be more attentive to her

[anneasquith]

It’s a bit like taking a holiday. We all benefit from a change of scenery, no cooking,cleaning.

[Redhelen72]

She has a few issues nothing serious except for needing to be centre of attention all the time!
We have suggested over the years that she gets a homehelp in but she won’t because she has to pay for it.
Her friend with severe health issues has just come out of respite whilst they were selling up her home full of how wonderful it is.
And she has to have what her friends have

[jennyjoan]

Yes she can get into respite particularly if she is paying for it.

Nazareth Lodge caring facilitates, this is Ormeau Road Belfast. I believe there are a number of people who have actually given up their homes etc so they can go in there - get looked after fed and watered and some company. Then if they feel up to it - jump into their cars and go for a drive. I know this as my friend has been pursuing this for her brother but it would be too expensive for him. But it is possible. Your MIL is a very very lonely old lady.

[Smowball]

Is she just lonely??

[douglas9401]

She may just need to escape from family for a while, they can be very demanding and judgemental.

[Barsel]

If your M-I-L lived with you and you and hubby were going on holiday, you can put M-I-L into respite care while you are away, so yes, it is possible. (That's just an example RH, don't panic)
Many years ago, and I mean many, my Mums Rheumatology Consultant used to put her in hospital for a rest just so she could be waited on hand and feet.
You'd never be able to do that now.

[Redhelen72]

Yes I think she is lonely but that is a situation of her own making!
She falls out with life long friends then slates them about town so is given a wide berth.
Clings to new ‘young’ friends and takes advantage so again they go out of their way to avoid her!
My SIL has seen her 3 times in 10 years and the bile spewed in her direction was quite frankly shocking! Even the grandchildren want to avoid her.

[barry1010]

Is she able enough to have a few days at a hotel, maybe Warner's where there is entertainment if she wants it and other older folk? Cheaper than respite but no personal care available.
I know a few families that send their elder relatives there when they go on holiday themselves

[Redhelen72]

We have just received a quote from local British Legion £1048 per week!!!
If she needs nursing care it’s £1358 a week.
I don’t know what games she is playing but it’s an expensive one!

[Hopkirk]

She would be better off going on an all inclusive package holiday, perhaps Saga.

( Doesn't Saga stand for send another granny abroad?)

[bobbinwales]

So long as she is of sound mind and she as enough money saved ( ie don't want others to pay for it then) then its her choice. If it work's well she can do again...if it don't then at least she'll know for next time ??