Mortal Remains

[Khandro]

Are people who leave specific instructions for what happens to them, conceited & vainglorious ?

[Canary42]

No.

[MargoTester]

No just practical

[Redhelen72]

No

[Buenchico]

They might, at least, be 'optimistic'!

There's no legal obligation upon someone who arranges a funeral to follow any instructions left by the deceased. Putting "I wish to be buried next to my wife in St Mary's cemetery, Glossop" doesn't prevent the person arranging your funeral from seeing you cremated in Gloucester.

The 'instructions' in my will (which, as I've stated, can really be no more than 'wishes' anyway) have absolutely nothing to do with conceit or vanity. They're simply practical. (Quote: "I desire that my body be cremated without ceremony and that my ashes be disposed of, also without ceremony, in any convenient refuse receptacle").

[Old_Geezer]

I think the correct description is "normal".

[Canary42]

1. I thought that quote might appear again in this thread Chris :-)

2. My Mum's will specified cremation but shortly before she died she advised us verbally that she "... didn't want to be burned ..." so we "disobeyed" the Will (not knowing it wasn't a legal requirement) and had her buried.

[barry1010]

No, it can be very important to those with strong religious beliefs or fears.

[Khandro]

Chris's post is to the point.
My Daughter in Law's widowed mother died last week having left instructions that she wanted to be buried next to her husband - so far so good.

The problem is that she died in a nursing home about a hundred miles from where he's buried which is in, what you might call, a different 'county', with different requirements & driving around dead bodies isn't as simple as it sounds.

I have personally made it clear with an apology in advance, to whoever has to deal with what's left of me, that they must do whatever is the least troublesome for them.

[barry1010]

Transporting the body shouldn't be a problem, funeral directors deal with that often, usually using a van. Sometimes they hire a hearse from a local undertaker.
Or maybe they are using an undertaker near to the cemetery?

[bednobs]

my mother in law had a fear of cremation and under no circumstances wanted to be cremated. When she died, none of us had enough money for a burial so she was cremated

[andy-hughes]

I think, as advised, that those with strong religious beliefs, will want to ascertain in advance what happens to their mortal remains, it will no doubt be a comfort to them as death approaches.

To those of us who have no expectation of an afterlife, and basic indifference to what happens to their mortal coil once it has been shuffled off, some guidance does mean that those left behind don't fret about what we would have wanted - if we can make it clear in advance, it does save any worry about doing the 'right thing'.

[bobbie22]

I have told my son that I want to be cremated and my ashes buried in Wales (I am Welsh). But I don’t live there I have a place where my husband and youngest sons ashes are buried, and I want to be there. That’s not too much to ask is it?

[bobbie22]

By the way, my oldest son is perfectly happy to do this

[Vagus]

I’d ideally like a sky burial but I think the neighbours might object to my corpse dangling from our maple tree while the birds, etc., do their best to dispose of me.

[Buenchico]

Bednobs:
My mother's situation was the reversal of your mother-in-law's one.

Even when I was a young child, she would tell me that she hated the idea of "being eaten by worms" and that she definitely wanted to be created. Over the years, as I grew up and then into my adulthood, she must have told me that well over a hundred times. However, as it turned out, she must have failed to mention it at all to my father, who had arranged for the interment of her body before I knew about his plan to do so.

[haras2]

I think leaving instuctions (suggestions) in your will can help to settle any differences there may be amongst the family about what should be done

[maggiebee]

My father left no specific instructions and I decided to have him cremated as my mother had been. My daughter kicked up such as fuss that in the end we bought a lair and had him buried. My daughter does not live within a hundred miles of the cemetery and has never visited so I am at a loss to understand her reasoning. My instructions are in my will.

[andy-hughes]

maggi - // My daughter kicked up such as fuss that in the end we bought a lair and had him buried. My daughter does not live within a hundred miles of the cemetery and has never visited so I am at a loss to understand her reasoning. //

You could always ask her.

It may simply be the psychological comfort of knowing he is still 'somewhere', rather than the finality that cremation brings.

But like I say, if you are curious, have a conversation.