chapel of rest

[Mimmy]

my mum has specifically requested that she doesn`t want to be in a chapel of rest when she dies and is waiting to be buried, but instead would like to be returned, in her coffin, to her home, like they did in the past, to be with the remaining family and not on her own in some strange place.

Is this legal in the UK? do they let the family be alone in their own home for this amount of time unattended with the coffin? Is it ok with health and safety as I thought they kept the body in a fridge when not being viewed by family in a chapel of rest.Whose property is your body when you die? I thought you had to be kept under lock and key at the funeral home, but she is adamant she wants to come home.Is there any alternatives to chapels of rest?

[gen2]

Yes it is legal in the UK. It is in fact fairly common in Northern Ireland and some families here in Scotland have their loved ones at home before their final journey. In fact it was only last year that my daughter-in-law's father died and he was brought home for friends and family to pay their last respects. The undertakers did all the preparation work and then the coffin was brought to the house. I think it was there for three days.

If those are your mother's wishes, then why not comply as best you can?

[MangoPete]

Hi Mimmy,
When my parents died they wanted green funerals and a couple of websites gave great advice. I found the large firms of undertakers manipulative . Did you know it would be cheaper to keep the deceaseds remians in a hotel rather than the undertakers due to their extreme costs?
I hink the idea of her being at home would cause no problems, I suggest doing a google and finding a local green undertaker who could give you advice. However the one we chose for Chester, where my mum was came all the way from Burton on Trent.
if you do not want to carry out our mothers wishes and the rest of the family agree you don't have to be bound by what she wanted .
Having a Wake for the deceased can be a good way for people to come to terms with the berievement but it can also weird children out too.
it is a thing for the family to decide , but don't feel pressured . it is a stressful time and we don't all act as logically as we would want when it happens. It is good to discuss and decide with family and decide on a plan than having to rush everything at the time.

[druiaghtagh]

It is a very good idea, one which i wish i had taken note of when my parents died

[ermintrude35]

..this is still a strong tradition in the far north of wales where I live, almost every funeral i have attended has had a small service in the home, with the coffin before leaving for the graveside.....

[Vics]

Hi Mimmy. I hope what I say below will be of great help and provide humour!! As Gen and Ermintrude state it is very common in Ireland, Scot and Wales. My Father (Scottish) died 5 years ago in Watford. My mum's memory of her Father (also Scottish) was his open coffin in her Mothers bedroom. This is therefore what she wanted for Dad - ie. open coffin in her bedroom. Any undertaker is perfectly happy to do this. They do however have to be embalmed - a process which I believe takes the organs out so they don't go off!! To save any embarrassing moments lets just say check the size of the coffin and the angle of any doorways/stairs etc. as dear Dad got stuck half way up the stairs so ended up in the study!! (It was like a scene from Waking Ned) Also a few of his friends declined to see the body as it is a very unusual thing down south - this you have to respect. I for one am glad that I did and I got used to Dad being round the house and popping over to my Mum's and just saying Hi Dad. The room has to be kept cold and windows ajar. Although your Mum is adamant this is what she wants - I suggest that you yourselves have to be totally comfortable with the idea.