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Thisoldbird | 22:45 Sun 01st Oct 2023 | Body & Soul
18 Answers

I won't be alone dreading the coming winter I know, but the shortening days have already sent me into decline. 

Today my eyes have leaked on and off all day.  

I know we can't turn the clock back and I've had more years on this earth than I ever imagined. The news not just depressed me, but frightens me. 

My nerves are jangled, I'm on edge the whole time. Most of all i'm so desperately lonely. 

I lost my only son almost 3 years ago, my husband 14 months ago. 

I was always the strong one, the one who was ready with help and advice but I feel washed right out. I've had enough, If there is any truth in an after life, I'm ready to find out for myself..

Tis a funny old world..




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(((hugs))) &xxx

sorry to hear you feel like this.

have u thought about seeing the GP?

Sorry you are feeling like this. Would you consider having a small old age fur baby, cat or dog, come to join you.

I am so sorry you are feeling this way, understandable with all that you are still going through.

I don't know if you are getting help from your GP, but it might help to speak to him or her.

This is a horrible time of year for those on their own. 

The obvious solution to feeling lonely is to try to engage with other people more often.

Yes, I know that's a ridiculously simplistic answer but it's one that still might well be worth using as a jumping off point anyway.  Try looking in your local community magazine, parish magazine, church magazine or whatever for groups in your area that might interest you.  That could be for a specific interest, such as creative writing, art, cookery, etc, but there might also be more general 'meet up and chat' groups (such as 'knit and natter' ones) in your area.

If you can't find anything listed in print, try asking at your local library.  There will almost certainly be something of interest to you, where you can make new friends.

In the meantime though, take a look here to see if any of the advice or links can help you:

This video, from Age UK, might also be relevant to you:

I'm so sorry to read this. Do you still see friends or go to work or have other family? 

I can empathise ThisOldBird, in many ways.  The last few years have been awful and I'm so depressed. Ì'm lucky to have a good hubby though. This is just to say if you ever want a chat, I'm very willing to chat.  I have a throw away email address and could send it to you.  Don't feel alone x


Your last paragraph is just how I feel.  

Have you anyone you can talk to, a relative, friend or neighbour? Have you considered phoning the Samaritans as they will listen and maybe offer some support. It's horrible being on your own but even talking here might help

You miss your husband and son and it must be difficult to carry on without them - you do not say how old you are.  Perhaps you could attend a Day Care Centre if there is one locally where you would meet others in the same position as yourself, have a meal, etc.  What about neighbours ... do they look in from time to time?

What area/region do you live in? 

Feel so heartbroken for you. Would be easier if there were a way for folks to chat to you more personally, for example if you were on Facebook or had a throwaway email account which could be passed on or shared. Not sure how all that works on AB 

Hope you know you can chat on here and will find someone who can sympathise. X 

There are some lovely repsonses here and good suggestions.  I volunteer at a couple of places which gives a rythym to my week and a few people to interact with.  Its wonderful how quickly some of my co-volunteers have become close friends and keep in touch during the week. Would it help you to do something similar?

Depending on your interests there are many opportunites in local museums, theatres, animal welfare, food banks, charity shops, hospitals and many more.  It feels good to be relied upon and part of a team.

I know how you feel as I talked about this about 2 weeks ago.  Being on your totally own leaves you devastated but I get over my loneliness by having my wee dog Maxie.  He has been with me for 8 years now but for the last two weeks my dog walker asked me if he could stay with her - I agreed but I missed him too much it wont happen again.  if you like a wee pet - give it a go.  My Maxie is my second animal and I can't believe it cos I never thought about animals when I was dancing and enjoying life.  Give it a go as perhaps fostering a wee animal will give you some thoughts.  

My heart goes out to you, and even though my reasons for loneliness may not be the same...its still particularly difficult this time of year. For me it's distance, and SAD. The dark days will sap energy. Maybe try to plan some winter projects or tasks to keep busy...and there's also reading which can be a way to meet and see in your imagination if you are unable to get out.

You've had many excellent suggestions...I agree about considering a small pet. I'd be distraught if I didn't have Toby...even though he's not the most cuddly cat.

Hi. TOB, you don't realise it but by posting here today you have engaged with good kindly people, some who can relate to you. 
you deserve to be ' depressed'. Chris has posted some good on line sites try them, one maybe helpful. 
be kind to yourself. Take care Anne .

Old bird, how are you today?  I've been thinking about you and hoping we have helped.  Don't forget, I am happy to communicate with you privately.  We can cheer each other up ;0).😼

Hi TOB have you considered lunch clubs, my MIL goes to one at the local church (not the same religion) they have made her really welcome and there is a craft club too.

So sorry to read this and I do hope your online friends, as seen on this post, will give you some comfort. x

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