Embarassing moment

[Curious79]

Hiya not sure if this is the right bit. What is the most embarassing thing that has ever happened to you? Funny stories most welcome! Thanks

[soozmac]

I put this story on once before, to try to cheer someone up, so apologies if you've already read it.

I used to live in Germany, and ended up at a party one night. I was gassing away quite the thing (funny how fluent you are in a foreign language when you've had a bit to drink) to a very handsome young man, when the conversation came round to how gullible my brother is. "Yes", said I, trying to be adorable and mysterious at the same time, "in English we would say that he takes everything in like a dried sponge." The handsome young man just looked at me. "Um, you know, a sponge." People around us were beginning to look. Losing confidence, I continued (in hindsight, bad idea). "You know, a sponge. You wash yourself in the shower with one." The handsome young man looked shocked, but that was nothing compared to the look of horror on his face when I announced "You know, a dried sponge sucks up liquid." All conversation in the room had ceased.

Turns out I was saying "penis" instead of "sponge."

To this day, I know that somewhere near Hannover, there is a handsome 30-something man who still tells the story of the odd Scottish girl who washed herself in the shower with a dried penis. Neither adorable nor mysterious, then. (at least, not the latter for the right reasons, anyway....)

[mycatis]

PMSL I remeber this story from last time you posted it soozmac but I have to say I read the whole thing again and I'm afraid I laughed just as much this time :-)

[soozmac]

well, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

[mycatis]

ok I've put this up before too but anyway

I was in a shop in shopping centre a few years ago with my friend and my boyfriend. Now you have to understand it was a very small shop, anyway I reached up to take something off a shelf and knocked about half a dozen things on the floor, as I bent to pick them up, my bag knocked stuff of the shelf behind me. I spun round to see what had happened and promptly wrecked the first shelf of stuff completely. By this point the shopowner was runing towards me, waving his arms and in my panic (I kid you not) I tripped over some of the stuff on the floor and crashed into another display! By this point the guy was just shouting at me to get out of his shop and I'm saying "God, sorry, sorry here let me help!" *drop, trip, crash* Oh the shame, so I decided to cut my loses before the guy passed out and I left the shop. Oh and my boyfriend? He was nearly on his knees outside the shop, tears running down his face cause he was laughing so much!! My friend was mortified and didnt speak to me all the way home, whereas my boyfriend couldnt because he laughed for about 4 hours, the swine!

[johnlambert]

Whilst serving in the army in Germany I was on exercise and desperate for a No2, so, when we parked up at the side of the road, I grabbed my trusty old entrenching tool (shovel to you civilian types), rifle and loo paper and headed off into the woods. Being the shy and retiring type, I went deep into the forest, found a convienient tree, which was surrounded by a bush well over my head height and dug myself a hole deep enough to bury my deposit.

Whilst squatting down and in the middle of my business, I heard the onimous sounds of "clip clop, clip clop" and EVERY school kid in West Germany (or so it seemed to me) was on horseback enjoying a nature trail. To make matters worse, their teacher was pointing out various points of interest ie big tree, pretty flowers, British soldier etc. They all waved to smiled to said stuff like "Gutten Tag", "hello tommy" etc and they didnt appear as traumatised as I was.

Hope this helps Curious

[scrumpy78]

my brother in law once asked a cardboard cut out of an asda shop assistant where something was. makes me laugh.......wish i'd have been there.............