what happened????

[kezia_88]

arghhh I went to have sex for the first time with someone I truly care about who lives away! We did the usual foreplay but then as he put on the condom and climbed on top he said it isn't going to happen what does this mean? He couldn't get it up? Came too quickly? I really need an answer I'm so confused???

[DebDeb]

He couldn't get it up sorry to say unless he hid the mess well!

[sassenach]

Don't worry too much. I suspect it means he's quite keen on you too and was a bit nervous, which prevented it from happening. Performance anxiety!

[treacle84]

Yeah, DebDeb is probably right. Some guys get really nervous and it just doesn't happen. If you're serious about eachother though just keep trying :)

[laurence2]

who's to say he was'nt intoxicated or had a change of heart, was that it from him, it isn't going to happen, surely you ask why or he gave a reason

[andy-hughes]

He probably lost his erection, and was maybe too embarassed to say so - a common problem.

You'll have to see how this goes - the problem is, anxiety about a repeat can become a self-fullfilling prophesy, so it needs some tactful handling (sorry!) from you. Wait until he brings the subject up, and then see how matters progress, but reassure him, it is very very common, and nothing to worry about.

[charliebaps]

And if he tries to say that he can't 'do it' with a condom then he's talking a load of old nonsense and don't let him try without!!

[teag1rl]

I second Charliebaps! Don't take that rubbish, you are worth way more than some nasty all too easy to catch STD

[Quizmonkey]

Why are you asking us? Why didn't you ask him? Communication!

[maggie01]

I have to say that if you can't ask him what happened, then perhaps you were not ready for sex. It's all about communicating as well as the act itself.

[Andy_Baptist]

Don't worry, it happens all the time. I've been there and the girl was quite upset, but its seriously not the girls fault. 'it' has a mind of its own.

:o)

Have a laugh about it and you'll be fine.

[Morrisonker]

i'd agree he probably lost his erection. Don't worry about it, my boyfriend and I had a few failed attempts before we lost our virginities to each other. You should talk to him though, I'm sure it was just nerves.

[Greedyfly]

I would have asked, although embarassing I feel if your old enough to have sex then your old enough to talk about it. He will be embarrassed and I guess you may be too but it does need to be discussed only we can guess what happened, he can tell you and you can reassure him and yourself.

[lkn2cln]

I think that mostly these answers are right but I don't think he lost his erection.He probaly wouldn't admit that.I am thinking maybe he sinced you were nervous and felt like he was rushing you into it.He was maybe thinking out loud."This isn't going to happen".We can all guess but to make your self feel better you should ask him.It is better to get it out into the open before the next time when you'll both have that uncomfortable feeling about what the other is thinking.