honesty Vs tact?

[unruliejulie]

are you too honest for your own good or would you rather tell a few white lies to save someones feelings? generally called being tactful.Which is the best route?

[whiskeysheri]

Hi jules! Great Q!

I think I'm honest, I'll say what I feel but I like to think I'm tactful too. My nan on the other hand is very 'honest' and doesn't know the meaning of the word tact. The other day she said to me "I'm sure you've put on weight", when I've actually lost it! She also tells my mum she hates her hair daily!

She's very rude actually... x

[unruliejulie]

yes, WS thats a good point, where does it stop becoming truthful and just becomes plain rude!

[Dan Glebitts]

To be honest I think Im very honest but occasionally will tell a white lie for the greater good. I am told I am a trustworthy character and many friends wouldnt think twice about telling me their secrets, before telling anyone else. I find trust to be a precious thing and liars are probably the worst of all people. I cant stand em.

Sorry bout that... thats what I think...

[unruliejulie]

do not apoplogise in my thread Dan!!! i think you're spot on!

[funkymoped]

i would rate myself as being 95% honest ( most people dont like the truth)

the 5% of me that lies does so to protect others, either from themselves or from my truth !

tactful doesnt work with me im happy to say..

[unruliejulie]

I have to say, i think being tactful is very important becaue people tend to have very fragile egos (me included) I hate to think that i have hurt someone with something i have said and it will play on my mind big time! i don't think little white lies are a bad thing but if i'm especially close, i can be honest but i will have to chose my moment.Now thats tact, you could say

[lia*]

my weakness is my honesty. i cannot tolerate liars or phony people. tell it like it is, i don't care. honesty and trust is very important to me. dishonest people lack character and value. this is the way i feel.

whiskersherri, i like your nan cause she's honest.

[SC00BY]

honesty, lies will trip you up!

[Dan Glebitts]

sorry I dont normally apologise so frequently...Oops there I go again

[unruliejulie]

stop it Dan, just be honest lol

[B00]

Telling it like it is, is all very well and good until it hurts a persons feelings, that's when tact should kick in.

I also believe that being brutally honest is sometimes used a cover up for being rude and verbally agressive.

[unruliejulie]

lia, would you still tell the truth even if you knew someone would be very hurt, i'm not talking about anything majorly serious, say for example if a friend loved a dress she had on but you didn't like it, would you tell her?. considering we all have different taste, would that be the right thing to do. Just curious and i admire honesty, but its not always easy to carry out.

[unruliejulie]

I have to agree with BOO (again)

[*Zeus*]

Hi WS ...how are u

[lia*]

jules,

i would say julie that's your choice and you like it so you should wear it, and it dosen't look too bad on you either. but personally that's not my fancy.

i have 5 sisters and 2 brothers. found myself in this situation lots of time, sometimes they turned out to be arguementative.

[Rubyrose]

I'm not really that great at being tactful! I tend to just say it how it is but don't I do try not to hurt peoples feelings. Honesty is the best policy. :o)

[lia*]

in the end you will be hurting someone if you don't tell them the truth.
i have strong faith and believe in karma.... you will get back what you give out. you know what goes around, comes around

[Tha-Flash]

Honesty all the way. Sometimes I lie. It's pretty much impossible to go through life without lying. I don't think anybody tells the truth 100% of the time. The worst people are the compulsive liars. They need to try some truth.

[Rubyrose]

My dad always said 'Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to decieve'... :o)

[rugeleyboy]

your on form with the questions aint ya jules!!!