Mending a broken heart

[ronnie_07]

How long on average does it take to get over someone when a relationship ends ( almost 8 years) , and whats the best piece of advise you can give to someone to help them move on .....

[northy1111]

Hi Ronnie

The best piece of advice I can give is to not go straight into anything with anyone else......it'll only mess ya head up even more.....give yourself time to get over it.....

And as for how long that'll take, well I guess that differs person to person, but so long as you've got things and people to keep you busy, time will heal.

[Blyss]

if you have been with this person for 8 years , it must truely hurt you deeply , and with that you and your soul need time to mourn the loss of that person .
I am sorry to say with most ppl it takes a long time .
Some would say ...dust yourself of , brush yourself down and start all over again .
but I know it is harder to do that in the long run .If Your the kinda person {like me } who can do that and move on quickly , then all good , but I know so many who cannot do it .
I have always seen a break up of a relationship in somways like a death for the injured party , but worse becuase that person isnt dead , they just dont want you anymore and that hurt is deeper.
take your time to mourn the relationship you had , and take some me time to recover .
then and only then , jump back on the horse .
Im so sorry you are feeling rough and heartbroken just now , I hope that within time the wounds heal.

[halfadaily]

A formula that I read once from a relationship group reckoned that it takes about a month for each year you're together to get over it. I suppose a lot depends on the reason for the breakup and your own emotional strength.

The worst thing you could do, as northy said, is to get involved with someone again until you're ready. This wouldn't be fair on either of you.

It's not an easy time, but things get better. Just give it time.

[halfadaily]

Ronnie, you might also find this site useful. They have a forum and an active chat room for people going through divorce or relationship breakdowns. When my marriage ended 4 years ago I foound it a great help.

www.ondivorce.co.uk

[shivvy]

I reckon that there isn't much benefit in dwelling on the fact that it was an 8 year relationship. It might have been good and it might have been bad, but either way it came to an end.

My best advice would be to ask the question "what's the best thing that could happen to me now that we have split up?"

Good luck

[Jennykins]

The best advice I can say is......

....to start focusing on your self. Its time now to find out who you really are as your own person making all your own choices in life. Think of the great things you have to offer people who surround you. Think of your future and make some long and short term goals. Do the things you might not have been albe to do when you were in a realationship.

Take care of you...

Jen x

[WendyS]

Accept that break-up of a relationship is very much like a bereavement and you need to work through all the phases of your loss - disbelief, shock, anger, hurt and finally acceptance. You cannot put your foot on the accelerator to hurry through these various stages. In fact, painful though it is, working through them is part of the healing process.Take time out to learn to be yourself as an individual again rather than part of a couple and try to pick up any hobbies or friends that may have been set aside when you were preoccupied with your partner. Perhaps try and get involved in some new interests or take up an evening class. The hurt will fade in time but do not be too impatient with yourself on the bad days.

[Goodsoulette]

I have heard it takes 2 yrs to properly get over a longterm relationship. If it were me I would be throwing myself out to the lions and dating (casually, nothing serious) straight away to make myself feel attractive and just to know that you will be happy with someone again.

[888sally888]

I was with my ex husband for 12 years and I have been single for 5 years since then.

I had a series of disaters (dating wise) as I had to find out who I wanted in the future. I agree with above - dont rush into anything and dont settle with the first person who shows you some attention.

You will be fine and I am 42 now and getting remarried in 2 weeks. If I can get there - anyone can.

Good luck x

[*Zeus*]

It normally takes about a week for my heart to mend...(ie the next time I go on the town to pull)

[ronnie_07]

Thankyou all for your kind hearted advise.... I,m taking each day as it comes ....

Thanks again all ........

; )

xx