is it wrong to hate your mother?.....

[ermintrude35]

...is it wrong for me to hate* my mother?...I have finally realised after 37 years that she really isn't a very nice person....



*..I know hate is a very stong word, and I do not use it lightly....

[Champagne]

No, it's not wrong. It's just a shame that it took you 37 years to realise.

[B00]

No, you're not on your own there. I don't hate my mum but I dislike her. Everytime I visit her (once every 6 months or so?) it's under obligation and I breathe a sigh of relief on my way home.

[luckyeight]

There's a fine line between love and hate anyway.
You can't help how you feel - don't feel bad about it. I'm sure you didn't try to hate her.

[dot.hawkes]

wait til you haven't a mum to hate, you'll just wish she was around to fall out with over daft stuff like how to peg the clothes on the line properly or how many toffees to give your kids.

[splange]

try being a mum - and you may well be one yourself, I dunno, but I find it really hard - not the loving bit/maternal bit that's easy, rewading and a pleasure but being a good person/example and not turning into a brat yourself - that's hard.

[raysparx1]

I can only echo what dot said, I had a lovely mum,and never fell out with her,but please remember,we only have one mum and one dad,when thev'e gone it's to late to repair the damage, so think carefully "Hate" is a vey strong word,I hope you can sort out whatever troubles you have with your mum, Ray

[fee-is-me]

No, of course you are not 'wrong'.

If it is relevant to you and your situation then 'hate' is an appropriate emotion.

One's emotions are NEVER wrong.

What one does about them CAN be wrong (or inappropriate) however.

Don't feel bad about it :0)

[violetblue]

I can see what Dot and raysparx1 are saying, totally, but I'm assuming there must be some very deep-seated and painful reason for you to use the term 'hate' rather than just to say simply that your mum annoys you. In which case, no, it isn't wrong.

[Pippa68]

I don't consider it any more wrong than hating anyone else ~ it is obviously personal to you & you have your reasons.

I don't think you should have to like anybody. I do take what Ray & dotty have said on board ~ if you think your mum is wonderful then of course losing them is incredibly painful. It takes two people to make a relationship..if she isn't a nice person then don' t fret about it..just live your life as you see fit :o)

[saintjohnny]

The greatest myth in the world is that parents and children have "unconditional love." Once you are past your early teens, you will have developed a distinct and unique personality which may very well be at odds with that of your mother or father. There is no "rule" governing it, it is what it is. So don't feel guilty.

[felinechums]

I don't know why people always say "there is a very fine line between love and hate". What does this mean? How do you know there is a fine line between love and hate? I can think of several people that I hate, and the thought of ever coming remotely close to loving them is just totally untenable. So where does the fine line come in?

[noxlumos]

I spent a long time hating my mother for allowing my father to beat the living daylights out of me on a pretty much daily basis and thought she was a monstrous person. I then bothered to go and really have the whole thing out with her properly and whilst I still think she was 100% wrong and misguided and to blame a lot for what happened to me when I was a kid, I don't now hate her, as I would be depriving myself of the opportunity to have a realtionship with my mother that is based in the here and now and not 40 years ago.Things have improved dramatically between us and although it'll probably never be the way it should be between a parent and child it's better than hating her, so if you can discuss, forgive and move on then I'd say do so, but if what's happened is unforgiveable then don't beat yourself up about it, some people are not nice and it's an accident of nature who you're related to, you don't have to love or like them.

[missyR]

i know that at the age of 15 i hate my dad love me mam to bits but hate me dad i can't pinpoint a reason really but i don't think its something you need to feel bad over and i know that may sound selfish to some but you can't choose who your parents are!
xx

[rugeleyboy]

i hate my mom......i am not telling you why, just that i hate her!!

[rugeleyboy]

i have just realised.....i dont hate my mom, i just have nothing for her!!

[aurelia]

No, you are not wrong. Only you can know what has caused the barriers between you. RedHelen is right though - you must come to terms with your feelings and guilt before she passes away - so that you then don't spend the next 20 - 30 years living in regret.

A Friend of the family regularly berated her mother and did so in a public platform by writing a sort of biography of her earlier life and stating that she "hated" her mother and calling her for everything and blaming her for most of her problems. When her mother died suddenly - she went to pieces and was equally publicly overraught, which surprised me as the depth of her feelings were strong to say the least.

[Hellion]

Someone once said to me 'You can love your Mother but it doesn't mean you have to like her' Some of us have Mothers we really like and are friends with and some of us have Mothers who we love but actually don't like very much or are unable to be friends with. That's actually OK as long as you accept it as such.

[joko]

people don't generally say "theres a fine line between love and hate" - this is obviously come from another phrase and has got mixed up.

love and hate are two extremes of emotion, at either end of the scale - the opposites.

people say you can have a love/hate relationship - yes, but it is still love/hate, it is still the two very different emotions side by side.

you can love and dislike, or hate and quite like, but it will not be too much of an extreme feeling - theres is no line

[luckyeight]

People do use the phrase and I guess if it doesn't resonate with you then you haven't experienced the fine line! I honestly think love and hate are two sides of the same coin if u want to put it like that... They are both passionate emotions that come from the heart.
Lots of good points on this thread. Agree that the bottom line is to reconcile your feelings whatever they are so you don't end up eaten up by hate or guilt etc.