Not sure....

[garythecat]

separated from my husband 6 years ago having been together for 11 years (we have a 9 year old son). He has recently split from his girlfriend (they lived together and were engaged). She instigated the end of the relationship. We have always remained close and I love him to bits. He has told a close mutual friend that he regrets screwing things up with me (not that our split was entirely his fault) and has hinted that he is considering approaching me with a view to "trying again". We are great mates, our son would be thrilled (as would various family members) and we would have a great lifestyle with our joint income. Im just not sure if it would work. Sorry to go on but I would appreciate your thoughts just in case he asks the question........thanks x

[dot.hawkes]

Go for it, you are obviously great friends and you love him aswell,. life is too short, get on and enjoy it with someone you really love and tell him this time you are both the grown ups you weren't 6 years ago.

[havinmysay]

it's ok but why has it took him all this time and for his girlfriend to end it with him apart from that if u do want to go for it thats up to u personally i wouldn't let him move in right away especially if your not sure it'll work its not fair on u or your son x

[whyme]

split from mine after 18 years, took him back 2 years ago but ended it 10 months ago. We get on fab and i love him to pieces as well, just cant be together anymore. Really hope it works out for you but if he does ask you have a bloody long think bout it. x

[missyR]

can i just ask, seeing how you are obviously stating on your question you are a female, why your name is garythecat? Only because gary is a male name and on what i have come across when people put names in their screen name it is normally their first name?
I don't mean to sound patrionizing, but it interests me.

[Taz70]

I definitely wouldn't think about getting back together any time soon. If he has only recently split up from his girlfriend then he could be on the rebound. Give it some time to see if anything develops.

Perhaps he's feeling lonely now he's on his own again. You've obviously got feelings for eachother (you've got a lot of history), but don't confuse friendly feelings with intimate feelings. Your son would be gutted if you broke up again, after having his hopes raised.

It didn't work the first time, so can it work this time? I don't know, but take things slowly and see what develops, but I wouldn't mention it to your son at first it things do develop.

[garythecat]

to missyR - the strange name just relates to a character I like from Spongebob - its the snail called Gary who in Spongebob's world is a cat. I must sound like a complete loon!!!
Thanks for your thoughts guys. It is definitely too soon after his split for anything to happen and there is no way I would allow my son to get wind of anything unless I was 100% sure it would work out.
We have definitely both grown up and matured. I guess I'll just have to take it easy and see what happens.

[rugeleyboy]

ex sex is the best!!!

sorry i can be no more help!

[garythecat]

Well thank you for that helpful comment rugeleyboy!!! lol
That is probably one of the things Im unsure about - cant quite imagine sleeping with him again.

[mimififi]

Maybe that is why the girlfriend ended the relationship, maybe she was getting the feeling it was a bit of a menage a trois. She may have always felt like second best and that his mind was on you?

Maybe this relationship can be repaired; and that is not to say that you will never fight, never disagree, never hurt each other with mean words when you are cross again, but it DOES mean that you have both made a choice to stick it out thick and thin. And you are right, you have to make a pact that that is what will happen as your son will be screwed if you split again, it would be heartbreaking.

I hope that you do work things out. I think it could "restore the years the Locusts have eaten" and just hink of doing the wedding again....yum yum. Then again, I am a sucker for a fairy tale....

The best of Luck to you and he.

[garythecat]

Hmmm not sure Id be up for wedding no.2 if we did work it out. Never say never eh!! Be nice to go out with our mutual friends again too. I hope Im not romantacising the whole situation.

[Pippa68]

Personally I wouldn't..but everyone is different & it has worked for some! only you know the right thing to do for you as a couple. If you do want to try again make sure it is the right decision for YOU..not for your ex, your son or other family members. If you base a decision on them and it all goes wrong you may feel more guilty than necessary and hurt more people into the bargain.

I don't wish to sound harsh, but think about the reasons you split in the first place. Could you work through that again? good luck in whatever you decide ~ it's great that you are mates x

[garythecat]

I like the boat story but he didnt go off with the other boat, we had been apart for 2 years before he found the new boat and Ive not been sat in the harbour waiting for him. Ive had a couple of relationships but nothing that was right (and not serious enough for my son to be introduced to them).
Im not under any illusions that if we did try again everything would be forever rosey in the garden and IF anything happens it will be taken very slowly. There would need to be some serious discussions and plenty of straight talking. Thanks for all your comments x

[lady_p_gold]

I think it is definitely worth a try ..... you have both had time to think about what you lost and ...... imagine the future, your son's wedding, the grandchildren, old age ... I know that sounds daft but it is never quite the same when everyone is divorced and married again ..... you had eleven years together and you remained close and that has to be worth something. Maybe you could just try some dinners together just to see how it goes. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain .. my only thought would be best not to mention it to the son in case his hopes were raised and then dashed ... so unless you were absolutely sure I would just keep it to yourselves until you came to a decision.

[fatmanlevi04]

I think we have all been there, follow your instinct but be careful xx Becca

[fatmanlevi04]

Rugeley boy, just read your answer about ex sex, how right you are, that should be a question on here not an answer and boy are you right, wonder why it takes us until its over to realise, Rebecca x