Should I keep chasing?

[Tock389]

Hello. I asked out this girl. She was busy, so I asked again a bit later, she was busy again, so I just said if she fancied going out then give me a shout. Nothing has happened so far, although she is quite chatty and flirty when she sees me, and makes a point of it to talk to me.
The thing is, I don't want to keep asking if she is just being friendly, and be a pest...or whether she is just keen for me to ask again, because she really was busy -

Help! Does anyone have any ideas?

[nat_84]

i'd just say leave it - you've put the ball in her court - so its up to her now.

if someone asked me out twice and i said i was busy - i wouldnt expect a third time...if there was a third time i'd start to think he was desperate.

[Champagne]

Sounds to me like she's just being friendly. I'm like that with people I like. She should politely decline if she's not interested though. That would be the decent thing to do.

If you're really unsure, then plan to ask her one final time. If she's still busy, then assume that's a 'no'.

[PinkFizz]

Ask her out to a specific place at a specific time - don't be too general.Such as "Do you fancy going for a drink and a bite to eat next thursday?". That gives her enough time without springing it on her.If she says "let me think about it" tell her ok,you will call her on monday to confirm either way.And if she then says no or is busy - GIVE UP!!!

[MORELLO]

Leave it. She's playing you and enjoying the attention. Divert it elsewhere.

[Tock389]

I think you're right - I'm a nice guy and I'm not into playing games - she knows where I am if she's interested, and I'm perfectly happy being friends if she is not.

[cascarelli]

Blimey is this the same girl who was too busy last year too?

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Q uestion120032.html

Perhaps you ought to move on?

[Tock389]

Ha! No, this is another one - are you stalking me, or do you just note down every time I ask a question?

[kick3m0n]

just to back up Cas here Tock, I read this and got deja vu too and was going to post just as he had. So spookily like you're last question that I'm surprised you even had to ask, you could just have checked the previous replies on your profile. Weird. This time, read and ingest the answers you get (even print them out?) and next time this happens (as it seems a serial occurrence) you'll have a handy AB of knowledge at your fingers tips, with out having to bother posting again :O)

[Champagne]

ROFL!!!!!

Talk about a glutton for punishment, Tock! :o)

[Tock389]

There's no need for sarcasm, thankyou.
I am just going through a low patch with the ladies, that's all.
In a year where I have had short term things with three different women, I just wanted a bit of impartial advice. Many male ABers will know how tricky it is to read a lady's mind. I have plenty of male and female friends, so am not relying on AB for the solutions to life's problems.
But..it's nice to get the opinion of different people who don't know me..I appreciate I may have asked a similar question before, but new advice from another perspective is always welcome.

[Pisceangirl]

Hey! It's a different girl, thus a different situation. However if she was interested I don't think she would have kept you waiting that long. Even though she seems chatty and flirty though, she may be shy?! I don't know! Who ever really does?! What goes on in another's mind is a mystery to all until the said person divulges their thoughts exactly! Say to her "I was wondering if you will ever take me up on that offer to take you out?!" She may squirm, but she can't wriggle out of that question and will HAVE TO answer truthfully! Don't worry if you get knocked back either...it will only make you stronger and take you to the path which will eventually lead to your future spouse...she will come along one day and when she does you'll be glad of all the knock backs of the past! :)

[Betty Boop x]

I am going to be honest here - 'being busy' is THE excuse to use when you don't really want to go out with someone. It's an easy way of letting someone down without hurting their feelings. I try to be honest if i'm not interested in someone, but it's not always easy to be.

When people who I have liked have asked me out and I couldn't make the night they suggested i would say - " no i'm not free monday night but I am free wednesday". (for example)

Maybe that is just me, but i think that if she was interested then maybe she would have 'played hard to get' the first time you asked but the second time she probably would have offered an alternative day that she was free?!

I definatly wouldn't ask again, not all women may admit it or like it, but i think most prefer a little bit of a chase as well and don't always want someone to be too keen . . .

I don't want this post to sound harsh and this is just my opinion, but i am sure you would prefer to hear an honest answer :-)

I know you don't want to play games and that is good, but I bet if you acted a bit uninterested in her next time you see her (NB - don't act rude or unfriedly, just don't give her that much attention, because that is what she will be loving) and this may spark an interest from her. (she will wonder why you aren't paying her attention anymore) God that sounds so contrived but try it and see what happens . . .

If not then she just wants to be friends with you, which is what I am guessing is the case anyway.

Hope this helps

x

[vinrex7]

She sounds like a c*ck teaser. who loves the attention. your best bet is to basicly ignore her in work and act like you dont care. and then she wont be able to handle the fact that your not paying her any attention, and will try flirting more. but be carefull not to buckle when she flickers her eye lash's at you. basicly treat em mean keep em keen. trust me it works.

[WendyS]

I suspect she's not really interested in dating you, otherwise she would have said yes earlier. Perhaps she just doesn't want to hurt your feelings and doesn't know how to say "No" outright. "Being busy" is just a euphmism for "not interested" If she really was busy at the time you asked her but was interested, she would have said something like "I'd love to but for the next two weeks I'm really tied up with x, y. z. Can we make it on such-and-such a date?
I'd be inclined to forget about it. Maybe she's got another boyfriend and is just keeping you dangling on the hook so that you can fill in if she suddenly gets dumped.

[MORELLO]

Like I said...