new boss

[serendipity1]

we have a new boss he is japanese as is the co. i work for , he is nit picking with me and talks down to me in front of everyone cutting me off mid sentence and telling me to listen is one of his favourites , it is a small office and he doesnt speak to any of the other staff this way , i suppose i am the least senior member of staff . but this is no excuse for his bullying and i am getting to boiling point , i dont want to say anything that will get me the sack but i am getting prettu pi**ed off with him what should i do / say?

[888sally888]

I think your best bet is to request a meeting with him and explain how his behaviour makes you feel.

Tell him how much you like your job, how much you want to achieve and that you want to be trated as everyone else is.

Also ask him that if he has a problem with your work/ideas he discusses it with you on a one to one basis.

Good luck x

[888sally888]

Sorry about the bad typing - was getting angry for you!!

[Champagne]

I agree with sally. Call a meeting with him. If you want it on the record then you can request to have a neutral person sitting in on the meeting with you (your choice, not his). Make sure you're in a positive frame of mind so that you're constructive.

If he's any sort of a good manager then he'll respect you for addressing the issues and he'll deal with them.

[whiffey]

A good tactic with someone who keeps interrupting is pointedly stopping speaking as soon as they interrupt. Make the fact that you have conceded your sentence as exaggerated as possible, and look away. That way he ends up talking to himself.

How it works with a Japanese culture in a boss-employee scenario I couldn't say, so be careful !!

[serendipity1]

thanks for all your advice, all good too!! i am not very good at confrontation i usually end up getting annoyed and saying stuff i shouldnt so will find it quite difficult , but i will have to otherwise i may have to start spitting in his tea!!

[divegirl]

Hi, I would say to you to follow all previous advice.....and not to worry too much as he obviously has a small w*lly and needs empowerment from some where! Try thinking about that next time he has a go at you ;O}

Lisa x

[PinkFizz]

Hi serendipity.What a rude little man! Have your colleagues noticed that he does this to you?

[juddlinski]

next time he interrupts shout 'aaww, me so solly' and make your eyes go slanty. Everyone'll laugh, and he'll see the funny side.

Or sneeze and instead of saying "Atishoo!", shout "Hiroshima!"

[yolande]

hmm i'm not sure i would find that funny juddlinkski.... that's getting down to his level of childishness as well as being grounds for dismissal on racist grounds i reckon! I agree with the meeting idea from earlier, have a sensible chat and everyone will realise what an idiot he is being.

[serendipity1]

hi pinkfizz, yes my colleagues have noticed and just say for now bite your tongue ..will keep you posted !!

[serendipity1]

juddlinski , although your advice did make me giggle i dont think i will be trying your approach..but thanks anyway x

[serendipity1]

divegirl, i think your probably right about the small wi**y...hes slimy too, and ..stares at my chest....urrgggh!!!

[Lonnie]

I take it your female, he's Japanese, thats probably the answer, when you look at their culture, unless there are other females there, and its only you thats being pick on, but i'd take a bet its the culture thing.

[Hellion]

I agree with the calling a meeting, nervewracking but worthwhile, write a list of the points you want to get across before you go in.

A couple of tips which I use, which may help without being confrontational:

When he interupts you, stop talking when he has finished speaking say 'As I was saying' and continue with what you were saying.

When he stares at your chest, if you are wearing a jacket pointedly pull it across your chest,
or,
bend your head down to your chest level and make eye contact with him. Most men look at women's chests (they can't help themselves, bless!) and think you don't notice, if you draw their attention to it they usually get embarrassed!

I'm not sure how old you are Serendipity but I suspect young, unfortunately it may be he thinks you're 'fair game', is there an older person, preferably male who could have a word with him on your behalf and say that our culture does not accept the way he treats you.

Good Luck

[cascarelli]

oh oh. Are we not supposed to stare at girl's chests when we talk to them?! Just as well that someone said! When did that start then?

But on a serious level, the next time he interupts, just say 'excuse me, i was speaking, let me finish.....' and carry on. Or look for another job? Shouldnt have to, but sometimes its easier

[serendipity1]

hi all, thanks for all your useful tips i have written some down, hellion im 39 , just too polite maybe!

[Hellion]

Well at 39 you have to take it as a compliment that he wants to 'talk to your chest' lol! (I'm 47, you have to take compliments where you find them once you get past 30 !!!)

I'd try the suggestions everyone has given you for a week or so and see what happens, if the situation doesn't improve....come back to us AB'ers I'm sure we'll think of something.

[serendipity1]

too true hellion , ..i will def come back with an update !!

[auzzie]

I'd still look for another job though!

[fayelc123]

Hi serendipity1!
I agree with what others have said, i would have a meeting with him.
I also work for a Japanese company so i know how you feel! I am desperately looking for another job at the mo.

Good luck! x