Burial or cremation?

[dot.hawkes]

Which would you prefer? Both my parents are buried and whilst that means it is a place to go to take plants and flowers, i hardly ever go even though it is only 3 miles away. It is a very bleak cold place. Have you ever given your final resting place a thought?

[Pippa68]

I would choose cremation, as graveyards seem to be getting a bit full! not sure where I would like to be scattered as yet but I am working on it...

Mr P wants to be chucked into the sea which will be easy as it is only down the road :o)

[dot.hawkes]

But you are gonna wait til he has shuffled off this mortal coil first though aren't you pippa lol

[BagPussAA]

We cremated my Dad and then split his ashes into 3. My mum has got them planted in her garden and my brother and I have got ours in pots with a nice tree on top. It means that wherever I move to I take him with me and he is always in the garden..

[Hellion]

Cremated and my ashes tied to a kite and sprinkled over the new Forest!
I used to manage a sheltered housing scheme and one of the residents died and asked that her ashes be planted under a rose bush. Her husband asked if this was OK to do it in their garden and I agreed. I turned up for work the following day and he'd planted a rose and sprinkled her ashes around the bush on TOP of the soil. I had to wait for him to go out so I could rake Lily into the soil - all the time I could her her laughing and saying 'blooming typical!'
I spent the day with some of Lily on my shoes, it sounds awful but actually it wasn't because she was the sort of person who would have found it very funny.

[Pippa68]

LOL dotty I dunno...it does get very tempting when he is standing on the edge admiring the view ;o)

[Pippa68]

Hellion..that is a lovely story :o)

[Hellion]

I did complain at my appraisal that burying residents in the garden wasn't in my job description!

[dot.hawkes]

well maybe they thought you just meant those that weren't actually dead hellion, with some people you have to spell it out tut! : )

[joannewatson]

My mum died 5 years ago and was cremated. However, when my dad goes he wants to be buried so we bought a plot and a headstone and buried my mums ashes there. I think about my mum every day, but sometimes its nice to have somewhere to go to have some quality time to think about her (sounds a bit silly but you know what I mean).

[Hellion]

Actually I have another interesting story. my sister has a friend who is a potter and lives in america in the mountains of colorado where there are lots of native americans. One of them gave her a 'recipe' for a glaze made from cremated ashes. When her father knew he was dying he asked her to use his ashes to make the glaze, which she did, she made 4 bowls for her mother and ther two sisters. When the glaze came out of the kiln it was the exact same blue as her fathers eyes!

[dot.hawkes]

Hellion are you Irish? lol No seriously that is very interesting.

Joanne I know how that feels but i also find i don't seem to remember the good memories when i go there, just the day we buried them or the few months before they passed in the case of my Mum and the few minutes before he went in the case of my dad, as it was sudden.

[Hellion]

Me Great Great Grandpa was Irish so a good story is genetic I'm afraid Dot lol!

Dot here's two of my favourite poems to do with loss that I know you'll appreciate - Chrstina does melancholy so well - I love the last two lines of Remember


Christina Georgina Rossetti. 1830�1894

Remember

REMEMBER me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad

SONG

by: Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)

When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady cypress tree:
Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, remember,
And if thou wilt, forget.

I shall not see the shadows,
I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the nightingale
Sing on, as if in pain;
And dreaming through the twilight
That doth not rise nor set,
Haply I may remember,
And haply may forget

[dot.hawkes]

LOL we had sing no sad songs for me on Mum's service sheet, her choice.

[Hellion]

I'm having it at my funeral - I've planned mine, just in case - music, readings the lot lol! I'm not religeous at all (well a bit of a pagan actually) but our local Priest has to do the service - if he still alive - but only if he wears his leather trousers !

[dot.hawkes]

ooo you can get those wicker coffins now can't you? like Sam's wife was buried in on Emmerdale, I think they are a good idea. (not hinting or anything Hellion lol)

[catlavender]

I want to be buried. I used to work in a cemetery office and having seen the cremation process taking place I think it is all too clinical. Plus I don't like the thought of being burned. I'd rather have a nice headstone and a plot where people can go and read who I was. I know it's not very environmentally friendly and it's true that land is running out but I've always loved walking around graveyards and reading the old headstones. I know it sounds morbid but I find it interesting thinking about who's lived before and cemeteries are very peaceful places.

[dot.hawkes]

I will be buried too, purely from a Family History point of view, i would like a marker for all my descendants to come looking for in a few hundred years.

[wolf63]

My dad lived to see his first grand-daughter, she was about 8 months old at his funeral. She sang all the way through and the day was not at all sad. My dad was only 76 but was ill and tired and was ready to die (which he did suddenly leaving me to find him - typical). My mum died when she was 58 - we were all there and it was not a terribly nice experience.

Both died of smoking related illnesses.

[Hellion]

I love headstones from a family history point of view too Dot , my Grandparents were both cremated but they have a headstone at the local church purely for that reason.
How far have you got with your family history? One of my ancestors was the first man to be knocked down and killed by a motor car in Gloucestershire - how's that for an epitaph? One of the Irish ones signed the Declaration of Independance - we know he's one of ours because my Aunt looks just like him.