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am i going crazy?
10 Answers
i am ALWAYS bored. i haven't been out of the house in over a month. every day, i waste my time doing my hair and makeup "just in case" but i am ALWAYS disappointed. i sit at home and watch TV all day. the only ppl i ever talk to are my mom and my 2 best friends (who live 8 hrs away) i think i might be going crazy, and i am getting terribly depressed. almost every thought i have either makes me more depressed or i burst into tears. i feel like nobody likes me. and i hardly sleep. sometimes i stay up writing pages and pages of depressing poems, and drinking cup after cup of coffee, having cigarette after cigarette. i was on prozac last year for this same reason, but now my family can't afford it. i also have dreams about violently killing everyone i hate. and i find myself saying the strangest things and talking to myself a lot. a lot of the time, i feel like killing myself, and i list off the ways i could do it. the only thing that stops me is the fear that i will go to hell if i do this. am i going insane? what should i do?
Answers
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Hi bobbikay,
I don't know your situation, so the best I can do is suggest that you call one of the following places right away. They have 24 hour talklines with professional suicide and crisis counselors. They can talk to you and even make suggestions and recommend local resources.
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
1-800-273-TALK
http://hopeline.com/
1-800-784-2433
or Covenant House Hotline: 800-999-9999
I am assuming you live in the USA, but if you live in the UK, you can call the Samaritans 24 hours a day too.
Please let us know how you get on, ok?
estie
I don't know your situation, so the best I can do is suggest that you call one of the following places right away. They have 24 hour talklines with professional suicide and crisis counselors. They can talk to you and even make suggestions and recommend local resources.
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
1-800-273-TALK
http://hopeline.com/
1-800-784-2433
or Covenant House Hotline: 800-999-9999
I am assuming you live in the USA, but if you live in the UK, you can call the Samaritans 24 hours a day too.
Please let us know how you get on, ok?
estie
Hi bobbikay.......I've been in your situation......You think that nobody knows what you are going through, but honestly there are people out there feeling just the same.
I felt very suicidal 9 years ago and thank god I had my family around me. Mine was because an ex of mine had committed suicide his family blamed me and I thought, ok if I do the same that will satisfy his family.
I was on diazapan at the time and it was my sister who came to see me one day and she said to me.....hey you, you have a beautiful daughter there...it's not your fault what he did....he put the noose around his neck not you. That was my wake up call......my daughter....i was so selfish I hadn't thought about what I'd do and the effects on her.
I had counselling bobbikay and it did help.
You take care.....things are not as bad as they seem...chin up babe....xxxx
I felt very suicidal 9 years ago and thank god I had my family around me. Mine was because an ex of mine had committed suicide his family blamed me and I thought, ok if I do the same that will satisfy his family.
I was on diazapan at the time and it was my sister who came to see me one day and she said to me.....hey you, you have a beautiful daughter there...it's not your fault what he did....he put the noose around his neck not you. That was my wake up call......my daughter....i was so selfish I hadn't thought about what I'd do and the effects on her.
I had counselling bobbikay and it did help.
You take care.....things are not as bad as they seem...chin up babe....xxxx
BobbiKay I'm sorry you're feeling so low. I'm assuming you are young by the way.
I really do think you need to discuss how you feel with a Doctor but I appreciate that your family may not be able to afford it. Is there a local womens clinic? Are you unemployed or signed off sick?
I'm afraid we girlies can be prone to bouts of depression and hormonal swings can play a huge part in that. It is very important you eat as healthy a diet as you can and you MUST go out everyday even if it only for a walk. Fresh air and daylight are VERY important. You say you waste your time doing your hair and make up sweetie that's not a waste time looking good and feeling good about yourself are positive things.
Your dreams are your subconcious working through your unhappiness so don't worry about them - it's healthy.
Finally, wishing you could kill yourself, I'd say this part of feeling depressed and often the only way out of depression (unless it's caused by chemical imbalances) is to work through it. Set your self a small goal each day and achieve it - nothing big, going for a walk, or a swim etc. Ask yourself what is it about your life you don't like and then think of how you would like your life to be - realistically I mean - then gradually set about changing it. EG You say your best friend lives 8 hours away - well set a goal of finding a new friend, think of where you could go to do that and do it. For example if you like Art join and art class etc.
Hope this helps a bit, someones always here on AB if you need us
XX
I really do think you need to discuss how you feel with a Doctor but I appreciate that your family may not be able to afford it. Is there a local womens clinic? Are you unemployed or signed off sick?
I'm afraid we girlies can be prone to bouts of depression and hormonal swings can play a huge part in that. It is very important you eat as healthy a diet as you can and you MUST go out everyday even if it only for a walk. Fresh air and daylight are VERY important. You say you waste your time doing your hair and make up sweetie that's not a waste time looking good and feeling good about yourself are positive things.
Your dreams are your subconcious working through your unhappiness so don't worry about them - it's healthy.
Finally, wishing you could kill yourself, I'd say this part of feeling depressed and often the only way out of depression (unless it's caused by chemical imbalances) is to work through it. Set your self a small goal each day and achieve it - nothing big, going for a walk, or a swim etc. Ask yourself what is it about your life you don't like and then think of how you would like your life to be - realistically I mean - then gradually set about changing it. EG You say your best friend lives 8 hours away - well set a goal of finding a new friend, think of where you could go to do that and do it. For example if you like Art join and art class etc.
Hope this helps a bit, someones always here on AB if you need us
XX
hi bobbikay, im sorry you are feeling so low at the moment, i cant really add to much as everyone has already given really good advice, but if you ever need someone to talk to We are always here on ab, and if you wanted i will give you my e-mail so you can talk to me and not feel on your own just give me a shout if u want it xxxxxxxxxx
Hi Bobbikay.Good morning from your friends on AB
Sorry you are feeling so awful, I can relate, having been in very much the same state many years ago, even down to poetry and ciggies. I think the large ammount of coffee and therefor caffiene may be making things worse, including the dreams. Your body/mind is in a constantly rev ved up state. St Johns Wort, a herbal remedy has proved a successful anti-depressant for many people. Personally I found it masked the problem a didn't solve it. Can you get a yoga or relaxation tape or run or swim? The thing is to know that it does and will pass, I guess it did for you before.
Do you think your depression might be seasonal? Try to find the courage to talk to your doctor and maybe a proper councillor, talking it all through with someone can be so helpful and don't dismiss the positive benifits of writing stuff down or crying (but not all the time) Are you still at home? Could you go with your Mom for a walk together each day? just a short one at first? I too stayed indoors for ages, but I forced myself and I got better. YOU CAN TOO
Very Best Wishes, 'see you again' on AB soon.
Sorry you are feeling so awful, I can relate, having been in very much the same state many years ago, even down to poetry and ciggies. I think the large ammount of coffee and therefor caffiene may be making things worse, including the dreams. Your body/mind is in a constantly rev ved up state. St Johns Wort, a herbal remedy has proved a successful anti-depressant for many people. Personally I found it masked the problem a didn't solve it. Can you get a yoga or relaxation tape or run or swim? The thing is to know that it does and will pass, I guess it did for you before.
Do you think your depression might be seasonal? Try to find the courage to talk to your doctor and maybe a proper councillor, talking it all through with someone can be so helpful and don't dismiss the positive benifits of writing stuff down or crying (but not all the time) Are you still at home? Could you go with your Mom for a walk together each day? just a short one at first? I too stayed indoors for ages, but I forced myself and I got better. YOU CAN TOO
Very Best Wishes, 'see you again' on AB soon.
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