How to say no to someone nicely?

[Surreygirl30]

Ok, as most of you who have seen my msgs before will know i am very unhappily single. Although I can not find the man of my dreams � I do in fact have a guy at work after me, as in hassling me every day and he works on a different floor/department (my boss is almost on the verge of saying something to him as he is like a stalker).

Just this minute he came to my desk and asked me out � this time he was being very serious about it and was genuinely upset when I said no. I am not use to being asked out and in such a public way � all my work colleagues were laughing their faces off. The thing is I can't be rude and tell him where to go � at the same time I don't want to come across like I am leading him on.

I am soooo flattered and really wish I fancied him but I really don't and well no point in pretending that I do. What is the best way for me to say I am not interested without making him look stupid as he is a nice guy (if a bit 'cocky'). God as I write this he has come back and just said 'are you missing me already' � so not use to this sort of attention. What do I do? Help.

[admarlow]

well done surreygirl30, keep up updated...

p.s did you post your pic on samuels thread

p.p.s, oooh you are soooooooo cuutteee, oi oi gorgeous.

(just kidding xxx)

[Surreygirl30]

lol noooooo i did not put my pic up as i really am not in the 'gorgeous' league, not even in the pretty league. Would i be soooo very single if i were eh? Serious it would make you lovely people throw up my pic.

You are funny.

P.s fingers crossed � as my boss is back next Friday and he will not be amused. This guy asked me out to Nando�s pmsl = classy or what?

[admarlow]

lol nandos!!! this guy must really like you!!!! maybe he'll take you to a Weatherspoons after for a WKD, lol.

From samuels thread it was the single ones who said they were not pretty were the best lookers, take a look at jeanette1978 for instance!!, Don't put yourself down!!!!!!!!

[fawna]

Surreygirl, the way you talk about yourself makes me sad. Alot of beautiful people are single (and alot of hideous people have partners!). Obviously I don't know you but perhaps it's your lack of confidence that gets in the way of you meeting someone. You should be happy with yourself, you sound lovely! (Again I don't actually know you so perhaps you are an evil monster but I doubt it!) Also, don't get down about being single, it's no bad thing.

[Surreygirl30]

no i am being realistic - i am told i have a pretty face but guys these days (well the ones i like) want the full package lol and who can blame them.

i am just average - i wouldn�t put my pic up on here and i don�t want people telling me if i am pretty or ugly - no offence to anyone just all felt a bit shallow. I don�t mind the seeing who you are talking too stuff but it all gets a bit too personal.

Plus, i have already upset someone off here today (via email) with my stupid humour/bluntness. Doh :-( i am having a interesting day today lol.

[Surreygirl30]

Thanks Fawna and its from many years of people putting me down all the time. I am one of those types that people feel the need to tell me when i don�t conform to everyone�s idea of how one should look etc... i work in a very shallow industry with women who will only talk to you if you are a size 12 or lower (serious) unless it is to make a dig at you.

I always get on with guys - but i end up just being their mate lol. i really am just very realistic and know what i am and what i am not. However, the confidence thing is an issue for me that is for sure. Thanks for taking the time for the msgs :-)

[admarlow]

well, SG, you seem like a VERY nice girl

BTW what industry are you in?

[Surreygirl30]

Thanks admarlow xx i work in the media lol I am really not a media lovey type though - sure they all think i am a bit weird.

[admarlow]

oohh I just finished at Mediaedge:cia and before that I was at Media Planning Group

*admarlow's just blown his cover!!*

[Surreygirl30]

Really!!! so that makes you a London boy then :-)

[admarlow]

lol, yep it does, not sure where you are from....surrey!?!?

[Surreygirl30]

Don't want to say on here to be honest :-) but not so far from London.

[admarlow]

croydon it is then! xx

[Surreygirl30]

god no, no, no, but you are warm :-)

[whiffey]

Oi !! What's wrong with Croydon ??

[admarlow]

ha ha ha nothing whiffey, its just the only place I can think of in surrey..

Ok, Kingston (is htat in surrey), East Grinstead......oh I give up xx

[Surreygirl30]

lol no nothing wrong with Croydon - some parts are really nice and great for shops :-) In fact i have been looking at flats there.

You will never guess where i live - but - Croydon is closer than Kingston :-)

[whiffey]

I suppose we should be grateful that Pratt's Bottom is in Kent.

[admarlow]

ok, Purley near the web estate. I used to see a girl from there...

[Surreygirl30]

ok.