Neighbour knicknames

[Athley]

Following on from the jogging sausage dog man and the garden pi**ers - have you got neighbours who you've never spoken to but only know them by the knicknames you've given them?

:o)

[dantheman123]

Whe I was a kid we called the woman next door "Beryl" but that wasn't her real name.

[redcrx]

wowo, they sound like my old neighbours, youre not in norfolk are you??
We sat and listened to the wife shouting at her hubby to get out of the house one sunday morning, she then started counting '1................2.....................3' and he was shouting 'im eating my b***dy' breakfast woman'. 5 minutes of this bickering later and he screamed 'youve stabbed me'
Oh how we giggled!!!!!

[##Wardy##]

I my village there are a few.

We have Milly Spinster who is about 104 years old and has never had sex.

The Swingers because they were once caught dogging.

Fishy Fred because he's a fisherman and is always selling his catch in the local pub. He name isn't Fred.

There are a few others but this is a family site.

[Athley]

I'd forgotten also (just seen them through the window)

Barbara Woodhouse - no dog but dresses like the original B Woodhouse tweed skirt, jumper, flat shoes collar out of jumper.
and
Ginger Postman - think you can guess why!

[drchasuble]

Where I live now we've got The Bonfire Pr1ck, so called because he used to burn his rubbish in the garden every morning. Bits of burning carrier bag flying all over the shop. I complained to the council about him and they made him stop so I've no doubt he now calls us something pretty choice.
Where I used to live we had Benny Hill, who was a short fat ugly old dame, Stump Guy, who used to sit on a tree stump by the side of the road and watch the world go by and Vest Guy who did the same as Stump Guy but wore a grimy vest.

[4getmenot]

We used to have a midget postman and we called him postman flat :-)

[WoWo]

redcrx - no I'm not in Norfolk :)

I suppose I better give you a bit of the background gossip.....

She has lived there for about 2 years, in the beginning she kept herself to herself and didn't seem to bring people round. Then she started to date, eventually she seemed to settle on this one fella, zip forward a few months she gets pregnant (no doubt a mistake) and the arguments start.

She seems like a total nutter to be fair, he doesn't seem a bad bloke and appears to trying to do the right thing but she comes from a background where her father was always going off with other women so she doesn't trust me. To make things worse he is a black cab driver so he is out till all hours, she of course puts 2 and 2 together and come up with 5 which seems to be the source of the arguments.

From what we can hear she beats him up to the point she is totally out of control.

The walls in out place a pretty thin so we hear it all, one great moment came the other week when they had a big row which resulted in him giving her a little slap as she was trying to pull his eyes out, she went berzerk and started to accuse him of beating her up (which from what we can tell is exactly the opposite) and he said the imortal line "Why don't you tell the neighbours", it was all I could do to stop myself shouting back "we already know it all mate"....

[WoWo]

"other women so she doesn't trust me."

Should of course have been "him"

Fraudian slip :) I can assure you I'm not involved.

[badgerchops]

Queen Bea for mouth almighty over the road who thinks she runs the road
+
Mister spade - my next door neighbour. i have lived there 3 yrs and cant ask his name now. he walks around with a spade but we live in flats (?) i am hoping he has an allotment somewhere !!

[curlyperm]

a bloke we used to call 'Barry Egg' cos his car number plate started EGG, oh and his name was Barry.

[babydust]

the 1 next door is the ocd nutter who goes in and out of her door 500 times before actually going out.........then comes back in after doing nothing then comes to my door and listens?? nutter

the dog man who who two noisy dogs even though in this developement you are not allowed dogs

van hoogenstraten - because he looks like him

the fat lump from concierge: bloke fatty moomin joker.

down in sussex i have: the non smokers who complain about everything including breathing

[babydust]

when i was about 14 we had names for most people in our street:

cloud head - his hair looked llike a cloud

prawn cocktail- always eating prawn cocktail crisps and sucking her fingers YUK!!

The two fatties- says it all

French Frog- he was french (doh!)

speckled egg-some ugly brat about 12 from next door who was related to the pitbull family they all looked like pitbulls and she had a child of every colour :)

[Supernick]

We've got
'The Mafia' - 3 Russian business students who do no notable study, but spend a lot of time downing neat vodka.

"Batter" - who's girlfriend is way out of his league

"No noise" - He really hates any loud music if I rock in drunk.

[joby1]

I also have a 'miserable cow' next door, who once said, 'could I not cough, because she cant do her morning crossword' !! WTF.

there is also, a fat arse, a fruity boy, a bunny boiler, a vicky pollard (though uglier), and a Father Christmas, cos we only see him once a year! True ! :-))

[joby1]

oh and diesel dave, but he's lovely. :-)

[masterchef]

We used to have a woman called letterbox who had a mouth like one.
We lived next door to a couple whose daughter and son in law used to visit them on a Friday evening and shout "Thank you very much" as they left, they were the thank you very much's.
There was Slippers who always walked around the street in her slippers.
A woman of about 40 who always wore a bow in her hair was known as Bow in your hair
There was Edward Scissorhands who trimmed his lawn with a pair of scissors.
Now we have a Baldrick in the street-he closely resembles him.
There is a woman with an awful set of teeth and gaps, we call her toosy peg.

[Eurox]

Theres "The Butcher" who lives opposite us, we call him that because he always wears a red apron with white stripes on it, the same as butchers do, and theres peado pete who delivers the papers.

[NiceHobbit]

My grandparents used to have names for their neighbours:
Mr and Mrs Fatty (the husband was obese but the wife was actually quite thin).
Mr Drunkbum (seen falling over most nights on the way back from the pub).
Mr and Mrs Cocky (guy who was always swaggering like he owned the street)
Mr and Mrs Lovey Dovey (do I need to explain?)
Mr Streaky (a very skinny man who they also got it into their heads was in the IRA because he happened to be on holiday when there was a bomb...don't ask.)