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Shyness

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bovva | 13:34 Mon 22nd Jan 2007 | Body & Soul
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I am incredibly shy and I find it difficult to talk to girls. When I am online using my 'alter ego' I feel brave enough to take on the strongest man and win but in reality I am a mess when it comes to confidence! Do you have any tips?
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hi bovva,

have you tried just talking to a girl the way you would with a boy mate?

as a girl myself, i would suggest just being friendly and try and pretend to be confident (like you do online) and eventually you will start to feel it for real!

what happens when you talk to girls?do you just not know what to say?

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I end up being nasty due to not knowing what to say and I am not a horrible person but that is how I come accross.
Hmmm, judging from your comment in the above post i see why you have problems with girls. maybe if you respected people a little more, you might have more luck...
MrBen how right you are ditto that!!!
practice is my only tip - put yourself in these sort of situations more and more until it becomes natural...
i suggest starting small e.g. make small talk with shop assistant and the like, don't tell them your life story just say hi and have a little chat about something innocuous like the weather etc.
Then think about increasing your social circle in new ways e.g. maybe join a website like myspace or another social network site where you can talk to people online and then maybe meet up in real life (the groups section in myspace often has groups based in your local area - i routinely meet up with a group i met this way)
Join a club or interest where you will have something in common with everyone there - maybe take up a language or a craft anything really, you will then have something to talk about initially (whatever the club is about) with everyone there thus giving you a bit more practise
Lastly - take a public speaking or drama course, these i find terrifying but they really helped build up my confidence to talk to large groups and more importantly to hid my shyness and bluff why way through with confidence... eventually i found i was no longer bluffing i actually was confident

anyway - good luck
Practice makes perfect, don't bother doing it online get out into the real world. Ask what they do they do for a living, where do they drink, what music are they into etc etc. They only way to get better is talking to a lot of girls, some will blow you out, some wont. I draw the line at buying them drinls all night though lol.

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