pregnant at 17!

[pregnant-s]

im 17 and 8 weeks pregnant.
i want to keep it but i have doubts now and then about having a abortion because the babys father isnt around and i dont have a job or anything but i do have a really surportive family.but they just say its your choice,which is the only thing they can say really has anyone else had trouble trying to decide this? and what did you do?

[Goodsoulette]

Im 27 and single parent and I really would not recommend it. You can give up hope of any resemblance of a social life for the next five years. I got pregnant at 21 and by the time I found out, his dad was in Iraq, I kept Jay and I dont regret having him at all but I do regret not being in a loving and caring relationship. I then took up with the next guy that came along so I didnt have to be on my own, put up with nearly 6 years of being beaten up, had another baby with that guy, and it took him beating me during that pregnancy to realise I didn't need this cr@p anymore. It still took til my youngest was 8 months to leave him.

It is your choice but you are only 17. This could ruin the rest of your life. You havent finished your education yet, getting a job that you can work 9-5 without a degree will be a nightmare. Childcare doesnt provide for shift workers ingeneral and your family can only help you out soo much. As you are only 17 I am assuming your parents are still working, they can only do so much and you have to stand on your own 2 feet at some point.

I know this all sounds negative, and if you choose to keep your baby you will love it and care for it and no doubt be the best mum you can be. You really need to think whether you are being fair by bringing this child into the world.

As much as I love my children, I should not have had them I was being selfish and stupid. Although I love them and would not be without them.

[Champagne]

Whatever choice you make WILL be the right one.

There are moral issues around abortions but if you feel you can handle that then you will be fine to go through with it. It is an upsetting ordeal and something that will stay with you for life, but you will move on from the experience knowing that you have more time to fulfil any other dreams before you take on the burden of children. You are still so young right now and you won�t realise just how young you are until you�re older! But whatever happens, if you do decide to have an abortion then please make sure that you don�t end up in this situation again. xx

[makemesmile]

I'd get yourself along to your doctor or health clinic. You need clear unbiased information. Whatever choice you make will be the right one, don't worry.

[Goodsoulette]

Also would like to add that there is no harm in actually booking in to the pregnancy advisory clinic. You have to go to Family Planning Clinic and tell them you are thinking about having a termination. They will then get the ball rolling and you can see a counselor, if the time allotted isnt enough, you can keep seeing them. They will run through all your options, including adoption. and help you see how you feel about each. Just because you go to this clinic does not mean you are committed to carrying through with a termination of pregnancy. If you do choose to have an abortion there is also counselling available after and the nurses are very, very caring and understanding women.

[aka pixi]

My daughter was pregnant at 16. I dont think I have ever worried about anything as much in my entire life. She split up with the babies father not long after she found out she was pregnant and had a really hard pregnancy and birth. Shes now almost 21, my granddaughter is 3 and a half. It hasnt always been easy for her (loneliness and money worries were a real big issue) shes also missed nights out, holidays with friends etc but she is a lovely lovely mum and wouldnt change her situation for the world.

Please think really carefully about your choices and lots of good luck whatever you decide :)

[nat_84]

I agree with makemesmile.

I recently made the decision to keep my baby. I'm only 22 but i'm with the father and we both work 9-5.

I, like you, were also considering having an abortion but i eventually chose not to because i think we're more than capable of financially supporting the child and bringing he/she up in the best possible way and both parents are around (which makes a massive difference).

Just remember, what ever you choose to do will be the right decision like Champagne says. You have to think about yourself here and your future. No one will judge you or think differently of you.

Good Luck in making your decision. xxx

[johnlambert]

Sorry to interupt you ladies, can I just say that Im soooo glad im a guy and not able to have babies. I would hate to have to make that decision on my own.
pregnant, I agree with the other posters who say that whichever way you decide, you will make the right one.

[kerry-ann]

hi, i myself got pregnant at 17, i now have a beautiful daughter carrie-marie who is 3 months old now, she is the best thing that ever happened to me although i didnt see this until she was born i had a tough pregnancy and it got me down when i told my parents it wasnt the best thing in the world but they were ok, the difference with myself though is that i was in a relationship with my partner of 3 years and we are now living together and he provides for me whilst i have a part time job in the evenings for a couple of hours at a nursing home.
i think you really need to sit down and think about this after all you arnt in a relationship with no job and no money it will be tough on you if you decide to keep this baby i presume you go out with your friends etc at the weekend/evening that will all disapear from you iv found it pretty easy to cope, but then again my daughter is only 3months old and she will be with me for the next 17 years and 9months (think about it that way ) whatever you decide to do will be made up by your own mind!
good luck Kerry-annx

[Pippa68]

All I can say is to follow your gut instinct ~ it is usually the right decision.

I agree with everything the others have said. Especially Goodsoulette (thank you so much for your honesty ~ for saying what many really do feel, but can't let it out!).

[mycats]

I got pregnant with my son at 17 and he is the best thing that ever happened to me I love him to bits.
Yes its hard but not impossible, saying that I am now going to college to try and get qualifications and a good job (I'm 29)
No-one can make this decision for you, talk to your doctor or family planning clinic, whatever you do YOU have to live with, if you have an abortion, later in life you will be glad you did, but if you have the baby (and lets be clear here, its not a baby yet) you will love it more than life and be glad you did.
sorry if that doesnt help but as I said its got to be your choice.

[pregnant-s]

thanks for everyones comments..i have actually been to a clinic and it didnt really help me much,no matter how much i hear people say its hard it doesnt make me want to have a abortion for some reason it makes me want to have it more.i think i could cope with having a baby and bringing it up but i dont have any money apart from what my parents would give me.which isnt fair on them.thanks for all your comments tho they ALL really helped.x

[mycats]

Like I said hon its hard but not impossible, I love my boy and wouldnt have changed my life for the world, he is 10 now and getting into the next exciting stage of his life, its been an amazing experience

[Goodsoulette]

lol cat I misread that as amazing experiment!

[Goodsoulette]

Pregnant - S, I would just recommend you think about things you would like to do with your life. Would you like to go travelling? Would you like to own your own home? Would you like to have enough cash to take your nippers to disneyland on their 10th birthday? Then think about how you can realistically achieve these things.

[johnlambert]

The benefits system is there to help as well pregnant-s, you wouldnt have to rely only on your parents

[noxlumos]

I think you might have answered your own question, you seem very committed to this baby already.
I'm a man so will probably be told to shut up, but my wife that was, was pregnant at your age ( nothing to do with me, that was before we met) and she kept her baby, did her degree and became quite successful in her field, so your life needn't necessarily come to a dead full stop, people do achieve and succeed in your position, but as Goodsoulette etc said, it's a very hard path and not one to be undertaken lightly, so keep an open mind for a little while and then make your choice. I must say that my wife would not have managed without some wonderful friends and family, so that's something to bear in mind too, the level of support that you'll need, but if you really want this baby then I think you'll find a way. Equally, you may decide that the right choice is a termination, in either event I really do wish you well, just make sure you are not pressured by other people one way or the other.This must be your choice, what you really feel in your heart.
Big hello to Kerry-ann whilst I am here, glad you're going on alright :)

[Joe_the_Lion]

Have the fetus aborted. It is not a baby until it is born (It is liberal views like this that places doubts on my Christianity)

Reasons why you shouldn't have it (no particular order)

1) You are jobless. Why should I pay for you?

2) You are not in a stable relationship. In fact any relationship.

4) You are very young. Enjoy your life and have children at a mutually convienient time when a dad (hopefully a husband) is around .

5)  You could be a grandmother at 32/33 a great-grandmother before 50. Your entire future and clanship will be based on the benefits culture.

6) You should be having fun and planing a future. Instead you will be knee deep in pooey nappies  walking around Lidl's and other unsavoury shops looking for bargain tat whilst your friends will be out having a life. Yes, they will say "Isn't little Britney or Shane cute", but when it comes to helping you out, I can assure you they will prefer to frequent your local Yeates bar.

[nat_84]

I appreciate that you're simply expressing you're opinion there Joe but i think its awfully harsh and abrupt of you to say those things, especially to someone who is so young and confused and trying to make the biggest decision of her life.

[Joe_the_Lion]

That is the point my dear nat. She is too bloody young to bring up a child, let alone take a few home truths on an internet forum.

[nic2006]

I dont know. To an extent I agree with John. Why should the rest of us pay her benefits if she doesnt have a job. All take take take. Go out something into the system before you bleed it dry.
May sound harsh but so is life and that is reality. Take the rose tinted glasses off...and as a 17 yr old. Grow up abit before you have kids,