Men and confident women

[jeanette1976]

I went out for a date with a very good-looking guy on Sat night. Normally, you meet a guy like this and they are very confident, especially where ladies are concerned, but to my suprise, we were talking about stuff in general and he suddenly blurted out that he'd never met anyone like me before, that I was always laughing and he thought I was a very confident woman... the rest of the night went quite well, though not as good at the middle part... and although he's very good-looking (not my usual type) I found him to be quite a serious kind of guy... not in a bad way, just different to me. Shame really.... but anyway, I'm a bit worried now.

How do guys normally react to a confident women? I'm certainly not a feminist or anything like that, but I AM comfortable with myself and who I am as a person... is this a worry to men in general? I'm by no means a 'loud-mouthed slapper,', I'm educated, well-spoken and I'm big on manners.... so what's the problem?

Many thanks! X

[johnlambert]

the problem may be that you intimidated him jeanette.
He may have seen your confidence as a tyhreat to his male ego

[johnlambert]

threat,
jings I've got sausages for fingers sometimes

[good-arras]

Would rather be with a confident woman than someone meek & shy where you end up doing most of the talking and making all the decisions about where to go etc.

[noxlumos]

Confident is good, did he say he was unhappy with that, or was he just making an observation? Sounds as if he was passing you a compliment, no-one like a doormat, and it's nice to find a woman comfortable in her own skin.

[B00]

Noxy's right (as per) most people are attracted to other people who are confident in their own skins.

The only time to be scared is when someone's comfortable in someone elses skin, a la Hanibal Lector styly.

[jeanette1976]

Having read your answers, I reckon I may have scared him off as he appeared to be fairly timid towards the end of the night.

Johnlambert, I understand what you mean... though I'm suprised as he is so good looking, well-dressed (he says he always gets stick from his mates) goes to the gym most if not every night... Usually these types of guys are too image-concious for me but I find it bewildering that I would intimidate a guy like that, especially when usually THEY intimidate ME.... just goes to show, never judge a book by it's cover.....

[B00]

Good looking? Well dressed? Goes to the gym???

Sure he's not gay?

[jeanette1976]

Hahahaha, funny you should say that.... he was saying that his mates are always winding him up... I'm pretty certain that he's NOT gay... he's not OTT where he plucks his eyebrows... I wouldn't have gone for a date if he was as bad as Beckham.... NO CHANCE! Not into pretty-boys.... I found him to be pretty manly... and his arms looked dead strong... not a muscle-head, you understand (yuck!!!)... just well-toned.... obviously more sensible than I'd expected....

[-Zorro-]

I like sweet women

[Skreecheeboy]

Looks like we have a strong contender for random answer of the week in that effort from Zorro folks....

[andy-hughes]

Personally, I think confidence in a woman is a big turn-on - you know they aren't going to waste time game-playing, and you can get on with a good conversation.

Maybe appearences are deceptive - he may not realise that he is attractive - but if you like him, try another date, and see how it goes. At worst you loose an evening, and at best .....

[laurence2]

i like confidence in a woman, tho i know some fellas who would run a-mile from these sort of women, maybe its a fear-factor in some men that they either have to be in control, you know, show whos boss etc so to speak.

Actually, these days i much prefer to have open and frank conversations with women, unlike my male counterparts who's coversation surrounds ''Boys things only'' ie football & more football & Women { for you not what purposes} it can get very dull with them, give me a women with confidence who will chat about everything who is not shy in coming forward anyday of the week

[banjosister]

Jeanette,

Oh how I wish I had such a problem!

He sounds lovely and that he likes you which may make him feel a little less confident in himself.

Take it slowly x