If there was a guy who

[SKA]

was a bit of a criminal and he was crazy about you and told you, you were the best thing to ever happen to him what would you do??

[WendyS]

Put on my trainers, run as fast as possible in the opposite direction and wait until somebody decent comes along who will also say he is crazy about me !
Unfortunately people tend to be categorised by the company they keep, rightly or wrongly, and life is complicated enough without courting disaster. Believe me, drug dealers find it difficult to kick the habit and if he dabbled in drugs previously he may be tempted to again.

[melons]

WENDY S Hurrah - you hit that nail right on the head. Best comment i have heard since being logged on! well done you!

[crete]

ditto.

[melons]

hope it all work out well for you. Logging of now!
Take care!

[SKA]

OK well I've deleted his number from my phone so if he calls I'll talk to him but thats it I wont even text him never mind see him. I think thats the best thing for me to do!!
Thanks for all of your replies!!

[unruliejulie]

SKA, heed the advice given here, for me its not even the fact that he was a previous dealer but the fact that he is more or less saying, if he goes back into it it will be your fault. If you end up with him, every time he wants control of you,or something you do or dont do, he will use this " if you dont then look what will happen" sure sign for a miserable life.

[Barmaid]

I agree with unruliejulie. If he is using emotional blackmail at this stage, what on earth will he be like in 3 months' time? I was emotionally blackmailed at your age by a man and I gave up so much for him. I spent 15 years of my life being controlled and possessed and I can honestly and safely say it was the worst thing I ever did.

[badgerchops]

i changed my mind from saying 'his past is just that' to stay away, purely because of his emotional blackmail. Be careful how you play it now though. dont agrivate him.

[Skreecheeboy]

That's the trouble with the world these days! People are very quick to judge, I would have said take a chance and get to know him a bit better before writing him off but the morality police got in there with the unsubstantiated, facist-tabloid induced remarks about all drug users being bad and then nit picking about the poor blokes choice of wording!

[chitchat]

If he using emotional blackmail before you even go out with him what will be next? Does he have a history of voilence? I would run a mile but Im not you, but please think carefully before you start anything. I have a feeling he may be difficult to break away from once you get involved.

As for him saying that he would go back to dealing again, he obviously hasnt learnt his lesson and if he even thinking about it he isnt worth your time or affection. You can do better.

[prattler]

you said he did psychology in uni? Does he mean he went and dropped out? If not, why doesnt he have a job, after supposedly spending all that time and 'intelligence' on it like most people do?
Sounds like he is a charmer and using the emotional blackmail.you dont want someone who puts conditions on your relationship at any point, let alone his-if you dont go out with me i'll be a drugdealer!he sounds like a shady individual, and I'd stay clear if I were you.If he really has done psychology, he'll know that he sounds like he has a 'dependant personality' i.e. he has to depend on others to keep himself on an even keel.While we're on the fishing analogy, tell this lowlife to sling his hook!

[prattler]

mind you , some one saying:'i'm crazy about you' when you are a bit vulnerable is very seductive.its nothing to do with him being an 'ex-drug-dealer'..I'm not being judgemental, he's a chancer who will wheel and deal through life by the sounds of it, hooking in women along the way.You are looking for advice but I have the feeling you will be involved with him, no matter what anyone else says.we all have to live and learn and no-one has the right to tell you what to do.The fact you have asked for advice is a good sign that you will hopefully get rid of him when he finally shows his true colours.

[silverdaler]

Hi SKA. Lots of advice on here, most of it against this relationship. Easy for us to say from a distance, but sometimes you cant see the wood for the trees. If this guy was a dealer, he has obviously mixed with some nasty people. He might want to change, but they might not let him. He is being very unfair putting the pressure on you to keep him off drugs. If he really wants you, he should be saying , nothing in the world would tempt me to go back to this evil way of life.
Had he not tried to blackmail you, i would have been more sympathetic.
At 19 there are LOTS of 'sweet' men out there for you - without the baggage !
Good luck hun !
x

[SKA]

Just to clarify he�s got a degree he didn�t drop out of uni but he was greedy for money (he admitted that) I was talking to one of my friends and she got me worried because she said what if he doesn�t let you go but I don�t think he�ll go all psycho on me - well I hope not

[prattler]

doesnt matter what degree he got hun(if its true).i know it makes him sound better on paper etc.But if hes going down the drugs route, what can you do?you cant be his saviour at this early stage- why should you? he's basically telling you his life is ****** up and he needs you to 'rectify' it.how long before every unlawful thing he does depends on you?Do you really want to go there when you have the choice to get out now and wait for a decent guy.there are plenty of them out there, just depends whether or not you feel you deserve one?Please see him forwhat he is, there are loads of guys out there who could fall in love with you, you just have to be patient.I have a bad feeling about this guy from what you've said.At the end of the day, I hope at least take a few days to consider and get out there and meet other guys.

[pastafreak]

my daughter got involved with someone like that when she was 16-she stayed with him in spite of what her GOOD friends said. when she wanted to leave him she was afraid because she thought she had lost all her friends and she was afraid of being lonely. she did leave him and her mates stuck by her.shes now 21 and quite stable and settled. my first thought for you was don't go there!--especially if he did psych! ps this is my first foray into theanswerbank-there are some crazy names out there!

[SKA]

Thanks pastafreak - your right there are some crazy names out there!! I dont know what to think about him now because he's the one who encoraged me to stay in uni when I wanted to leave now my grades are quite good and im glad he talked me in to staying, everyone has good and bad points and I'm starting to think he may have more bad point then good.
Thanks for your replies everyone!!