Crosswords5 mins ago
funny stories
16 Answers
has anybody got any funny stories that have happened to them or somene they know.
I have one
picture the scene, @work with my colleague, speaking to companies on the telephone, researching information for telephones (telephones on her desk i might add) other phone rings she tries to get it, instead of getting up and answering it she over reaches across the desk, loses he balance starts too fall , looking like wylie cayote who has just run off the cliff and not realising he is standing on air, knocks everything off the desks and landing in the potted plants, i'm trying to explain tothe person i am speaking to on the phone that my colleauge has just falling off her chair, while she is looking at me through the potted plants like a japnese sniper.
I have one
picture the scene, @work with my colleague, speaking to companies on the telephone, researching information for telephones (telephones on her desk i might add) other phone rings she tries to get it, instead of getting up and answering it she over reaches across the desk, loses he balance starts too fall , looking like wylie cayote who has just run off the cliff and not realising he is standing on air, knocks everything off the desks and landing in the potted plants, i'm trying to explain tothe person i am speaking to on the phone that my colleauge has just falling off her chair, while she is looking at me through the potted plants like a japnese sniper.
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lol poor girl!
ok.. picture this...
Little ol' preggers me with my hunky boyfriend in M & S looking for Bras for breast feeding...
It's fairly busy with a few women walking around searching for the item they require...
My boyfriends getting involved and searching for my size when suddenly "pppppaaaaaaaaaaaaarp"....
The squeekiest, loudest parp/fart comes from deep within me and disgusts the living day lights out of a woman standing behind us...
As i go bright red my boyfriend looks at me in complete shock and i have a bright red face of disbeleivement!!
i can honestly say the situation was completely beyond my control!! i have never ever done such a thing in my whole life!!
I blame baby for using my bladder as a whoopee cushion :o(
ok.. picture this...
Little ol' preggers me with my hunky boyfriend in M & S looking for Bras for breast feeding...
It's fairly busy with a few women walking around searching for the item they require...
My boyfriends getting involved and searching for my size when suddenly "pppppaaaaaaaaaaaaarp"....
The squeekiest, loudest parp/fart comes from deep within me and disgusts the living day lights out of a woman standing behind us...
As i go bright red my boyfriend looks at me in complete shock and i have a bright red face of disbeleivement!!
i can honestly say the situation was completely beyond my control!! i have never ever done such a thing in my whole life!!
I blame baby for using my bladder as a whoopee cushion :o(
nat, just wait til you get caught and constipated in a shop.
I spent 45 mins on loo in a big store one sunday afternoon. I couldnt do a thing and was stuck. In the end my fella asked for someone to check on me as Id been in there so long. All hell broke loose as they thought i might be in labour. Finally they found a female staff member to come and check on me.
when i finally came out another 10 mins later, there were 5 members of staff outside the toilet area that I had to walk past.
Or the time when i used a portaloo when 40 weeks pregnant. I rushed out of loo and Called for my fella and everyone is the very long queue was saying 'awww look, shes in labour' 'want a doctor love' 'can we get an ambulance for you' and I had to explain that i wasnt in labour but had just dropped my phone down the loo. :(
I spent 45 mins on loo in a big store one sunday afternoon. I couldnt do a thing and was stuck. In the end my fella asked for someone to check on me as Id been in there so long. All hell broke loose as they thought i might be in labour. Finally they found a female staff member to come and check on me.
when i finally came out another 10 mins later, there were 5 members of staff outside the toilet area that I had to walk past.
Or the time when i used a portaloo when 40 weeks pregnant. I rushed out of loo and Called for my fella and everyone is the very long queue was saying 'awww look, shes in labour' 'want a doctor love' 'can we get an ambulance for you' and I had to explain that i wasnt in labour but had just dropped my phone down the loo. :(
In Germany on an Army training exercise I desperatly needed a poo,
I jumped out of my Land Rover and headed deep into the woods looking for a suitable bush, I found the ideal one, surrounded by bushes on all sides and far from the beaten track where no-one would interupt me (belive it or not I am very shy and retiring).
I dug my little hole, dropped trousers and started to let nature take its course.
Halfway through, whilst im doing a Mr Whippy I hear the sounds of "clip clop, clip clop, clipety clop" and suddenly about 30 German school kids on horseback come trotting past, each one pointing at me and greeting me with a cheerie "Gutten Tag Herr Soldat"
I jumped out of my Land Rover and headed deep into the woods looking for a suitable bush, I found the ideal one, surrounded by bushes on all sides and far from the beaten track where no-one would interupt me (belive it or not I am very shy and retiring).
I dug my little hole, dropped trousers and started to let nature take its course.
Halfway through, whilst im doing a Mr Whippy I hear the sounds of "clip clop, clip clop, clipety clop" and suddenly about 30 German school kids on horseback come trotting past, each one pointing at me and greeting me with a cheerie "Gutten Tag Herr Soldat"
When my oldest child was a baby I went back to work part time as a midwife. On my first nightshift, my daughter was unsettled so Mr Overall sneaked her into the ward at 2.00am. I was breastfeeding her in a quiet corner when a group of people came into the room, bringing with them a relative who was in labour. They stared at me in amazement and one of them said, "Crikey, these nurses don't half provide a good service for patients."
We had a notorious prankster in the office, so one day he was dragging roung a YELLOW telephone handset by the curly cord all day( 'cos no one would ask him ) he just trailed it round to the copier, to file room, to lunch you could see he waiting for the question - so it turned into a mexican stand off - until the MD shows up and asks him to do something. Sorry comes the reply but I've got to take this golden reciever for a walk... groans all round.
I can't remember where I heard this, so apologies if you have heard it before.
A woman complained to her local supermarket after she opened the portable barbeque she had bought and discovered that the sausages, chops and steaks pictured on the front were missing!
She was very upset when it was explained to her that you have to buy these separately - especially when she explained that she had been keeping it in the fridge for a week!
A woman complained to her local supermarket after she opened the portable barbeque she had bought and discovered that the sausages, chops and steaks pictured on the front were missing!
She was very upset when it was explained to her that you have to buy these separately - especially when she explained that she had been keeping it in the fridge for a week!
Earlier in the year me and hubby went away for a weekend with two friends to Cornwall, there was lots of hills and old steep steps and my friend was telling us how clumsy she was, always tripping over and stuff when suddenly my feet went from under me and.... as hubby put it ..... I "stair-surfed" down twelve steep old stone steps.
It was was the weirdest position ever, my knees buckled up so my feet were under my bum (as if I was kneeling down) but because I had knee high leather boots on under jeans it just acted as a sled and I slid to the bottom with my arms outstretched. After standing up and trying to maintain a modicum (I heard my mum say that no idea how to spell it) of dignity we realised I had actually skidded on dog poo which made it all the more worse.
I did feel for my friends who were trying so hard to be concerned but blatanly wanted to wet themselves.
This happened within an hour of arriving and I hadn't even had a drink :(
It was was the weirdest position ever, my knees buckled up so my feet were under my bum (as if I was kneeling down) but because I had knee high leather boots on under jeans it just acted as a sled and I slid to the bottom with my arms outstretched. After standing up and trying to maintain a modicum (I heard my mum say that no idea how to spell it) of dignity we realised I had actually skidded on dog poo which made it all the more worse.
I did feel for my friends who were trying so hard to be concerned but blatanly wanted to wet themselves.
This happened within an hour of arriving and I hadn't even had a drink :(
Oh, and another time a few years back I was working behind a cash desk behind one of those bullet proof glass things and was feeling pretty lazy, the boss wasn't in so I was running the place and me and the other girls decided to get chairs out whilst we were serving, little did I know that the chair I picked was broken and when you sat on it if slipped down, like a computer chair would if you pull the lever thingy. Well, I was in the middle of serving some guy and lent back to sit down and the next thing I knew I was a foot off the floor. My friend was wetting herself and the bloke at the counter couldn't work out where I had gone! I would have been in hysterics if I had been the customer, unfortunately though it was yet another ocassion when I was being an arse :-/
just went to get my lunch from sainsbury's, as i walked away from the salad counter i realised i hadn't picked up one of the plastic forks and i shouted at my mate who was striding toward the deli counter 'ILL CATCH YOU UP I JUST NEED A FORK', my mate dissolved into a puddle of tears on the floor, everyone around me just statred smirking out downright laughing, i still didn't realise what i'd said until it was repeated back to me!
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