Men too scared to compliment women

[AB Asks]

Everyone likes a compliment every now and again it can brighten up an otherwise mundane day. But two thirds of women feel uncomfortable if anyone other than their partner gives them a compliment. Men are now afraid to compliment women for fear of causing offence, and women are highly suspect of the motives of those paying the compliment. What do you think? Would you hold back on complimenting someone for fear of causing them offence? Do you need compliments to make you feel nice?

[Rubyrose]

The guys at my work are actually quite good at paying compliments that don't have an air of sexual suggestivness behind them! Now and then we joke and make sexual remarks... ok.. not now and then... its more like ALL the time.. Lol... but they know how to pay a genuine compliment as well.

I don't think there is anything wrong with a guy paying a woman a compliment but there are certain ways to say things!

I hate it when some of the pervy guys here compliment me... and it's purely because they don't know how to do it without being pervy or crude and thats what causes the problems! If they gave a genuine compliment without giving it an undertone.. then it wouldn't be a problem.

[RATTER15]

I recently paid a complement to my ex manageress who was unfairly sacked, I always got on well with her as did everybody else. When I saw her again she told me about her new job and how she was enjoying it, I simply said:

"you must be enjoying your work you are looking really good"
as she was bubbling and smiling and lost a bit of weight.

Well you would have thought I had just told her She had a really big t!ts!!!

She went bright red and really felt embarrassed, I felt embarrassed for her!!

She isn't unattractive and she has a reasonable figure but has had very few boyfriends to my knowledge, a bit shy maybe or just not used to a genuine compliment.

Apparently she never stopped smiling all day!!!

[Goodsoulette]

Rubys right, women feel uncomfortable because lots of men are incapable of complimenting without being pervy or crude.

[Goodsoulette]

Here we go I cant believe I am going to admit this, but if a drop dead stunning bloke paid me the same possibly slightly crude comment as a bloke I didnt find attractive, I would probably chuffed with one and creeped out by the other.


Ill go sit in the corner in shame now.

[RATTER15]

I have friend who feels really insulted and offended if an ugly woman woman looks at him, yet he isn't really gods gift to women, and that's putting it mildly!!

I'm happy if next doors pit bull looks at me!!!

[Skreecheeboy]

I think AB ed's just fishing for compliments.

[RATTER15]

Trouble is skreech, I don't think anybody has seen her/him maybe she/he should post a piccy as a good relations exercise!!!

Think of all that extra revenue she/he could generate if she/he is a bit tasty!!

But there again could maybe lose it if he/she is a minger?

Up to you ED: a bit tasty or minger ?

[mccfluff]

i like it when i get compliments, even though i blush really easily and end up looking like a tomato :-)

[Rubyrose]

Goodsoulette - I do exactly the same... I am a bad person! Lol

But if a guy here pays me a genuine compliment and he is not being pervy or crude then I don't mind who it is... but when me and the lads muck about and get really pervy it's great fun but if one of the creepy minging guys do it... I hate it! It makes me feel so dirty! I don't make sexual comments to them but they do it to me out of the blue so I hate it... ! That's wrong I know... but ohwell!

And Ed may I say you are looking radiant today!

[Rubyrose]

Lmao @ Ratter! Lol.... calling Ed a minger! Could this be a first?

[Octavius]

If a man you knew (work colleague etc) said in context chats about sunbathing on holiday � �I bet you look good in a bikini� � is that purvey/creepy? Would it depend on how well you knew him, how good looking he was, or expose any complexes you had about how you looked in a bikini?

It seems that women are put off by compliments about appearance, regardless of intention. If you compliment a woman on a job well done, or just being great at her job etc. she might consider it patronising. There are no winners here and saying that men are frightened is inaccurate � probably more wary of facing an expensive lawsuit for sexual harassment /discrimination.

So AB Ed, I bet you look good on the dancefloor.

I have been wearing Lynx everyday for about 3 weeks now and not even heard a hint of any Boom Chicka Wow Wow�s heading my way.

[RATTER15]

I would never call anybody a minger, I'm just asking for EDs piccy so we can form an educated opinion.

Personally I think the ED is a female about of 32 and a bit of a looker, could maybe do with losing a pound or two but still a bit tasty.

Am i right or wrong?

[Goodsoulette]

teehee...ruby, I was at the taxi rank the other night and a squat little man made me feel uncomfortable by saying nice polka dots, the only polka dots I had on were around my boobs.... so really he was saying nice boobs. I didnt know what to say cause it creeped me out lol when my friend jumped in and said "where did you think that was going to get you? Like she would be interested in you"

which was a bit mean, yes! but serves him right for making a last ditch attempt to pull someone 20 years younger than him at the taxi rank.

[RATTER15]

Goodsoulette, shame on you!!

Do you really think he was trying to pull by saying nice polka dots!!

that sounds more like a guy having a bit of a laugh, not a very appropriate comment to make to a lady but either way not insulting!!

Please go and sit in the corner!!!

[Goodsoulette]

he was looking at my breasts ratter! and in general in this town girls go home with you seconds after you have looked at them.

[RATTER15]

Goodsoulette, Well there is a difference between a casual glance at a nice pair of boobs (and I wont ask if they are nice, just in case) and staring, So i will assume it was the latter and let you off, this time!!

You can come out of the corner!!

[Rubyrose]

Ratter - He was definately making a pass at her!
Let's look at this logically shall we.. an older man sees a female at the taxi rank.. he has had a bit to drink... he assumes she has too... he decided to pay her a compliment.. albeit not a good one either! Lol.. but if he was being genuine.. why feel the need to tell her!!! They are just polka dots.. it's not like he is telling her she has lovely hair...!

Goodsoul - I had the same happen to me! I was wearing a top that had striped bits near the bust and one guy said to me "Very nice stripes.. they emphasise your... oh never mind..haha"!!! And he is gross... minging... ugly... too old for me! And it made me feel sick.......

But then when one of the good looking guys mentioned it... I was making jokes about him looking at my bust and he was being all flirty back! Lol

Oh well... it's the little things that pass the day!

[Goodsoulette]

haha..Ruby, I think we have just made ourselves the most unapproachable girls on the site but if it stops dirty old men thinking girls in their 20s are alright for them then fair dos.

However, David Ginola could say anything and that would be coolies.

[Skreecheeboy]

Party at yours then Goodsoulette?